TalkThatTalk9 Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 I am really scared about posting this.. but have no where else to go. a year ago i got out of 6yr relationshp I think I may be bi (or gay?) I always knew i had hots for girls, thought it was just usual for straight women sometimes. but lately it has gotten to the point where I REALLY want to be with a woman. Ive always been boycrazy, but I link that to my wanting dads attention growing up. I hd my first kiss @19, sex@20, boyfriend@21. only have had sex with 2 guys total. several things have -growing up, since 12, I got off to my dads playboys all the time -had huge crush on my young hot 5th grade female teacher -i very rarely masturbate to men, almost always women -i have more female celeb crushes then guys n red headed celebrity women esp. -i had a crush on a close girl friend in h.s. she bailed on me, felt like a boy broke my heart -i get extremely turned on and crazy about feminine butch type girls... find them extremely hot. -i am always checkin women out. when i think of hot guys i know thought of making out with them doesnt get me hot but good lookin women I know, oh yea. -lastly, i never loved sex with my ex. i had zero excitement, even kissing grossed me out. i loved him and had sex but it was more actions then passion. i always thought id like it one day... and im a very sexual person this "need" i feel has gotten so bad, I am seriously feening for a woman experience.. ive been checking websites out and even considering going to a gay bar... nothing feels wrong about admitting i like women.. except the worry of telling people. it feela natural but at the same time, I watched tom hardy in a movie the other nite and wanted to jump him lol I am very confused and can NOT believe I am admitting this. i need help, advice, wisdom, whatever will help. this is overwhelming n im on my own with it. Link to comment
TalkThatTalk9 Posted February 4, 2013 Author Share Posted February 4, 2013 sorry im on my phone posting here w/it sucks this been on my mind awhile just now admitting to myself how would I even go about meeting women??? do i sound crazy? Link to comment
pl3asehelp Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 What is a feminine butch? Usually butch means the masculine lesbian. Link to comment
blueidealist24 Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 From what you've said I think you might be bisexual. It doesn't sound like you're a straight lesbian though. Maybe you should try a gay bar. I wouldn't recommend online dating for meeting women since it seems most homosexual people are just looking for casual encounters on there (I browsed the gay men section out of curiosity once, lol). Plus if you don't really know if you're bisexual or not a bar would be a good place to sort of.. experiment.. even if that means only looking at other women in a sexual light. Link to comment
TalkThatTalk9 Posted February 4, 2013 Author Share Posted February 4, 2013 I saw the term describing a lesbian that dresses masculine witha feminine touch to it??? going by what I read! maybe experimenting will give me the answer Link to comment
TalkThatTalk9 Posted February 4, 2013 Author Share Posted February 4, 2013 its gonna take guts on my part to put myself out there... Link to comment
90_hour_sleep Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 i don't have any advice...but i saw this the other day. perhaps you'll feel a little less alone. great speaker. link removed Link to comment
blueidealist24 Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 From what you've said I think you might be bisexual. It doesn't sound like you're a straight lesbian though. Maybe you should try a gay bar. I wouldn't recommend online dating for meeting women since it seems most homosexual people are just looking for casual encounters on there (I browsed the gay men section out of curiosity once, lol). Plus if you don't really know if you're bisexual or not a bar would be a good place to sort of.. experiment.. even if that means only looking at other women in a sexual light. I just realized what a weird term "straight lesbian" is.. I meant like a pure lesbian.. lol Link to comment
paradisa Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 One of my female cousins used to only date men and married a guy. The marriage dissolved within a year, she started seeing women & she is now happily married to a female and they have two kids. Do you have any gay friends you could go out with to a bar or an event? I recommend that you try and meet some women and see what happens. It may be the right path, it may not, but you owe yourself the chance to understand your feelings better here. Link to comment
TalkThatTalk9 Posted February 4, 2013 Author Share Posted February 4, 2013 as far as I am aware, I know one gay female my age but... if I told her my family would find out. I have a guy friend who could possibly help me out with meeting people but I dont see myself telling anyone anytime soon Link to comment
camus154 Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 Is it possible you're wondering if you're bi or gay because of your recent drama involving men, rather than a true sexual orientation? Link to comment
bulletproof Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 I don't know that you need to tell anyone in real life until you yourself are sure. Sometimes that can make things more confusing. But I do think you owe it to yourself to stay single for a while and maybe try flirting with women, see how you feel, etc. Link to comment
quirky Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 If you don't wanna say it to your female friend then maybe go to a gay bar on your own. Do you live in a big city? It's no big deal, I like some girls too though I like to have a relationship with a man..but I have a couple of female crushes that don't fade. I have gone to a gay bar and 2 of my flatmates are gay girls. That's how you will know, if you go out there and try it out. Now is the time ! Link to comment
shaynah Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 Who you are will evolve and become more clear over time. However, I don't think you would be having such a strong desire to be with a woman if it wasn't something important to you. I would guess you are at least Bisexual. You may find you prefer one over the other, or you may find it's all about the individual. I would recommend exploring this now while you are single. It's very common for women to "come out" in their thirties and realize what they really want in life. Often they are married with kids by then, so you are lucky you are wanting to find out now. I would actually suggest an online dating site. Just be specific about what you are looking for. Don't bother telling people who you don't feel would support you right now. Link to comment
TalkThatTalk9 Posted February 5, 2013 Author Share Posted February 5, 2013 camus.... part of being afraid of posti?g on here was I was afraid people might think I am on a man hating, emotional rant. I can assure it has nothing to do with that. its going on year of my breakup, where I hardly think of him. last guy I talked to I realized was a joke. I keep thinking if this is something that interests me so much, I need to explore I Guess. in the end, I will find out how I really feel i suppose. Link to comment
blueidealist24 Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 There also could be groups on link removed for people who are bisexual or questioning. I'm not sure since I've never looked for those particular groups but there seems to be a group for EVERYTHING on there. Link to comment
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