Hunter38 Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 This year valentines day is on a Thursday, but because I work late and my girlfriend has college the next day, we only ever get to spend about an hour or so together on a Thursday. We decided a while back that we would just spend the weekend after it together. But now one of her friends (not very close anymore) is having a birthday night out on the Saturday night and my girlfriend an me were invited. My girlfriend said that she would go and she would ask if I wanted to go with her. It's going to be in a night club and me and my girlfriend don't really like clubbing anyway. I know it's one of her friends but am I in the wrong to be annoyed that she can't just tell her friend that we are busy? My girlfriends argument is that we will be spending all of Saturday during the day together and all of Sunday so it doesn't matter if we go to this club on Saturday night. I can see her point but there are much better things I can think of doing on the Saturday than going out to a club. She said that she'll say that we can't go if I really don't want to but at the same time I don't want to be the bad guy for stopping her going to a friends party to do something with me. Anyone have any ideas what I should do here, or if I'm in the right or the wrong here? Thanks. Link to comment
FrenchFries Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 I think it's reasonable for you to expect that the weekend would be the both of yours to plan, especially since it seems you had already discussed it. Present another alternative to her and see how she feels about it. See if you can come to an agreement. Link to comment
camus154 Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 You said you planned on spending "the weekend" together--that implies to me that you didn't specifically come up with arrangements for Saturday night. Unless you've already made specific plans for that evening, I would suck it up and go. And speaking as a man, Valentine's Day is normally a bigger deal for the girlfriend than the boyfriend. This sounds to me like you're just not that thrilled to go clubbing with her friends rather than being hurt about not spending that night in a romantic fashion. Link to comment
rosasnyder811 Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 I agree with this. You'll be spending time together doing something you don't normally do. It can be something that you end up having a lot of fun doing. Sometimes being out of our comfort zone allows us to learn much more about a relationship. Sure, maybe she should have talked to you about it, but maybe this is your chance to really show her that you're in this for the long haul! You said you planned on spending "the weekend" together--that implies to me that you didn't specifically come up with arrangements for Saturday night. Unless you've already made specific plans for that evening, I would suck it up and go. And speaking as a man, Valentine's Day is normally a bigger deal for the girlfriend than the boyfriend. This sounds to me like you're just not that thrilled to go clubbing with her friends rather than being hurt about not spending that night in a romantic fashion. Link to comment
Natasha24 Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 You said you planned on spending "the weekend" together--that implies to me that you didn't specifically come up with arrangements for Saturday night. Unless you've already made specific plans for that evening, I would suck it up and go. I agree. Plus, you're spending Saturday and Sunday together anyway, it's not like you won't see each other at all. You say "I can think of better things to do on Saturday night", but maybe she really wants to hang out with her friends (even if she's not a club person). She sounds VERY accommodating. She made plans to hang out with you during the day on Saturday and Sunday, she invited you to the party with her, and she said she would cancel if you really wanted her to. She's sounds pretty awesome, to be honest. I don't think you have any right to be annoyed. Link to comment
rosasnyder811 Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 I agree. Plus, you're spending Saturday and Sunday together anyway, it's not like you won't see each other at all. You say "I can think of better things to do on Saturday night", but maybe she really wants to hang out with her friends (even if she's not a club person). She sounds VERY accommodating. She made plans to hang out with you during the day on Saturday and Sunday, she invited you to the party with her, and she said she would cancel if you really wanted her to. She's sounds pretty awesome, to be honest. I don't think you have any right to be annoyed. Exactly. Go do it. And keep an open mind while doing it. There will be a time in the future where you will want to do something she won't want to do. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 I agree with the others. Go and earn some brownie points. One night at a club. It's good for you too. Try to leave your usual hang ups at the door and have a good time. Link to comment
Doc Blaze Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 Your title is kinda misleading...i thought it was going to be she made plans without you....i mean i understand but this is one where IMO i think you need to pick your battles...she did say that you had all day saturday and sunday..its only saturday night and its not like she didnt invite you too... have a few drinks..and enjoy yourself Link to comment
Cope and Hope Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 Agree with everyone. Stop being such a sad sap and go out, have some drinks, and see where the weekend leads. Link to comment
Gilson Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 Agree with everyone. Stop being such a sad sap and go out, have some drinks, and see where the weekend leads. Agreed. It's really not such a big deal. You be the bad guy about this and you'll be paying for it longer than you know. Go out to the friend's party and enjoy the rest of the weekend doing other things together. Valentines is bull**** anyway. Link to comment
pl3asehelp Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 I'd just stay home. Spend the day with her, spend Sunday with her, but if you don't like clubbing, no reason you should have to suffer through that. I'd be annoyed too. I bet she's the type that can't say no to an invitation from friends, right? Link to comment
camus154 Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 I'd just stay home. Spend the day with her, spend Sunday with her, but if you don't like clubbing, no reason you should have to suffer through that. I'd be annoyed too. I bet she's the type that can't say no to an invitation from friends, right? Exactly! If she's so impressionable to go out for a friend's birthday, she's probably the type who will snort coke in the restroom and hook up with random dudes out of peer pressure! Don't be surprised if you see this woman on the next volume of Girls Gone Wild, OP, because clearly she has no moral compass whatsoever. In the future you really should be more discerning about who you choose to involve yourself with. Just remember--part of being an adult means doing only what you want to do. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 ^Is there more to this in way of background that you guys are saying that? Link to comment
camus154 Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 No, that was all sarcasm. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 lol. Sucks sometimes having no tone to go off of. In this forum, never know. Link to comment
Kamisaur Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 I don't really celebrate valentine's day but I go all out for friend's birthdays. You never made any specific plans other than 'spend time together' for an entire weekend. You'll still be spending lots of time together and will probably have a lot of fun. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 Holidays are our own psyche-fests and we're entitled to reinvent them and celebrate them whenever we want. For example, my family has about 4 or 5 Christmas gatherings depending on who's available. So? It makes zero sense to turn a day for celebrating 'love' into a bone of contention. Cooperate with one another and invent your own calendar--celebrate it whenever is good for BOTH of you. LOVE!!!, Cat Link to comment
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