how do you quit after the second date

[bubble16]

i've been online dating, and met this guy from there. we had a first date in beginning of dec, and because we were out of the country at different times, and then christmas came, we didn't have a chance to go on second date until beginning of jan.

 

he texts me every day/every few days at least since december, but to be honest, i don't think we really click that much. i realised i should probably stop seeing him when i thought in horror about what i would do in case he wanted to kiss me.

 

we tried to meet up a few times in the last week, but i cancelled once because i really didn't feel like it, and he couldn't make another time. he still seems keen to meet.

 

because he has invested a lot of time texting me over months, i feel like i need to say something to him about no more future dates, but i really don't know what to say.

 

any help please?

[Imtheretoo]

Just be honest. I did this the other day while actually on the date.

 

No spark; no chemistry. He really can't blame your feelings, and if he bothers for you to evaluate, just say, "It's hard to explain one's feelings."

[bubble16]

arghh. i dunno why i just feel really nervous about texting all this. in a way i felt like i led him on, i knew i wasn't sure, but i thought things would improve. now i've just had enough. i feel bad, i don't like potentially upsetting people

[Imtheretoo]

I have the same problem and it's never easy especially when the other person is so hooked. But I'll be honest, if you don't make a clean break, and make up some random excuse - he'll just place faith into a possibility that doesn't exist.

[The_Seeker]

First, be honest.

 

I had a guy that i tapped just for fun and no intention getting into a relationship with him pulled the same crap. He let things happened instead of telling me after. So freakin annoying. Anyway, found out he was all talk when it comes to bed.

 

If you don't want to see him then tell him. Seriously, stop playing the "victim" by saying "I feel bad." The reason you feel bad is because you are not standing up for yourself and you ACTUALLY don't know what you want and need. So stop dating for a while until you figured that part out. But if you just want to date by fool around by all means go for it but be honest with your intentions.

[The_Seeker]

I have the same problem and it's never easy especially when the other person is so hooked. But I'll be honest, if you don't make a clean break, and make up some random excuse - he'll just place faith into a possibility that doesn't exist.

 

That's so pathetic to pretend when it's actually the truth.

 

Just tell him the truth so he can move on and stop texting you.

[bubble16]

First, be honest.

 

I had a guy that i tapped just for fun and no intention getting into a relationship with him pulled the same crap. He let things happened instead of telling me after. So freakin annoying. Anyway, found out he was all talk when it comes to bed.

 

If you don't want to see him then tell him. Seriously, stop playing the "victim" by saying "I feel bad." The reason you feel bad is because you are not standing up for yourself and you ACTUALLY don't know what you want and need. So stop dating for a while until you figured that part out. But if you just want to date by fool around by all means go for it but be honest with your intentions.

 

i'm sorry you dated a jerk.

 

i am going to tell him, but i wasn't sure how, which is why i am asking advice here. i do feel bad because he's a nice guy and has been through a horrible year. there is just no chemistry and it's a bit boring. i know what i want which is why i know i don't want him in that way.

[The_Seeker]

i'm sorry you dated a jerk.

 

i am going to tell him, but i wasn't sure how, which is why i am asking advice here. i do feel bad because he's a nice guy and has been through a horrible year. there is just no chemistry and it's a bit boring. i know what i want which is why i know i don't want him in that way.

 

LMAO I didn't dated a jerk. All I wanted was just to have a way with him. LOL Then he goes "I need emotional connection before physical." Dude, that made me felt like such a guy and him as a girl.

 

 

He just didn't know how to communicate. that's what pissed me off with people.

 

Well maybe you should show him how to have fun since you have an idea. Right? Right. It takes two.

 

You never know. Quitting after a second date just because you "didn't click" doesn't justify how he is later on. Knowing me I date him until I find something that I don't like about him [which is mostly his values or communication skills.]

[catfeeder]

You never (ever) need to date anyone you don't want to. If I can take anything I've leaned from experience and spare someone else even one miserable date, please don't make the mistake I did in caving to pressure from anyone.

 

Nobody else is living your love life for you, so nobody else gets a vote. Including the guy you don't want to date.

 

If he texts you again, you can opt to simply respond, "I'm sorry it has taken me so long to get clear with myself, but now at least I can tell you this. You've done nothing wrong, but I don't want to reschedule another date. I don't feel that we have enough in common or that we can build the right connection. I wish you the best."

 

You are not obligated to respond to any more texts after that. And no, you won't feel 'good' about this, but the relief you do feel will make up for it.

 

Also, when meeting men in the future, try keeping it to a simple coffee. Agree up front before the meeting that you won't ask one another to meet again during this conversation, but if either of you is interested, you can contact for a date afterward. This removes any pressure to say 'yes' when put on the spot.

 

Head high.

[Ms Darcy]

Why not call him if you feel he has invested so much time? Just say you are not feeling it and wish him luck in his search.