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How to approach?


Slow Club

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She works in a different building to me but I see her occasionally because sometimes I have to grab stuff from her office.

 

I've never actually asked a girl out before because I usually just wait for them to approach me. Not doing that this time.

 

Anyway, I'd be fine if I managed to get more private time to chat with her but there are other people in her office. I have no idea how I should/could approach her...?

 

My only plan so far is to spontaneously wait outside her office after work.

 

Any ideas?

 

PS I'm not as shy as I used to be but I still think my introverted ways warrants this thread to be categorised here.

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  • 2 weeks later...

so i almost mustered up the courage to ask her out today but backed out because somebody else was there too.

 

I just don't know how to do this. Ah! Any tips or advice. Just go talk to her isn't enough. Also, remember this is at work but we are at differemt departments so often have no reason to go see her.

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so i almost mustered up the courage to ask her out today but backed out because somebody else was there too.

 

I just don't know how to do this. Ah! Any tips or advice. Just go talk to her isn't enough. Also, remember this is at work but we are at differemt departments so often have no reason to go see her.

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so i almost mustered up the courage to ask her out today but backed out because somebody else was there too.

 

I just don't know how to do this. Ah! Any tips or advice. Just go talk to her isn't enough. Also, remember this is at work but we are at differemt departments so often have no reason to go see her.

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So, have you talked to her at all? If not, I'd do that first. Briefly get to know her, and don't put the pressure on yourself to ask her out during the first conversation. If it naturally segues, fine. If not, you're making her more comfortable with you and that will increase your options for asking and your odds for success.

 

The most difficult thing is to walk up to someone completely unknown and ask them out. You work together, so you know you're going to see her again. Ease into it.

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We've exchanged 'hellos' and briefly exchanged words about work related stuff. But hardly a social conversation as such.

 

Last time I saw her, she initiated the 'hello' to me but I was busy and couldn't really stick around to chat.

 

Basically though, I fairly certain she knows I like her.

 

I don't know. There just doesn't really seem to be an opportunity for us to just chat which is why I kinda thought I should just ask if she wanted to hang out some time.

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Well, I would try to chat with her a few more times and preferably about non work related stuff. But again, don't expect to ask her out in those conversations. You're just getting to know her, and as you mentioned, you're pretty sure she knows what you're up to already. If her feeling is mutual, she may make your life easier. If she's not the type to do that, you could simply call her on her extension, or drop her a brief note, or walk by, ask if she has a minute, and lead her to the copy room or somewhere close yet secluded where you can take a more direct approach. Where there's a will, there's a way.

 

Think of it this way: If she's interested, you really have to screw up pretty bad for her to turn you down; and if she's not interested, I don't think you want to be the guy who's smooth enough to change her mind.

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