sarahvalent Posted January 15, 2013 Share Posted January 15, 2013 I know this is a lame question, and I also know I shouldn't be focusing on it so no need to tell me that! I have wondered though, me and my ex broke up several months ago and have had no contact whatsoever. Like none. Zilch! I deleted all photos of him and untagged from most soon after. And yet, even now he still has albums up and a few couple photos of us... In the albums there's a lot of pictures of me and I find it really weird because we don't talk and aren't friends and at least in my opinion are not going to have any contact again whatsoever. Neither of us said merry Christmas or anything either, we really have nothing to do with each other and our relationship was pretty short. I just don't get it... He was a real douche at the end and treated me horribly. He really never cared for me, it was always his ex on his mind. I can also see since the break up that he's really immature and selfish. Basically I think he's a horrible person, but objectively he really DOES only care for himself. I thought he might have kept the photos up because of status, ie I am good looking enough... Maybe he wants people to know that we dated. But it still seems really weird to have albums up when we're not even Facebook friends, and when he has uploaded other photos since. I just don't get it and it bugs me a bit and it annoys me that I have no control over it. I wish he'd take them down because I would really rather people not know that I had anything to do with him. Hmm thoughts..? Link to comment
sarahvalent Posted January 15, 2013 Author Share Posted January 15, 2013 Actually I think in posting this that I figured it out... I think in some respects I wanted it to be about me, but since it never was I imagine he keeps them up to save face with his ex and have me appear as an actual relationship like he moved on. It's hard to accept that someone never cared but I am pretty sure it was that. Ah well. Link to comment
soloman9 Posted January 15, 2013 Share Posted January 15, 2013 I think you're overthinking all of this. He's a boy. Boys are lazy. He probably just hasn't given any thought whatsoever about old Facebook photos. It would mean trawling through and deleting them all. I wouldn't delete old photos as it requires effort and I'm a girl. Think of it this way - if he HAD deleted them you would probably over analyse this even more "Omg he must still care" "Maybe seeing me bothers him?" "Maybe he's back with his ex gf" ... it's all irrelevent. Link to comment
Doc Blaze Posted January 15, 2013 Share Posted January 15, 2013 this^^^ im a guy and i still have a lot of pics of ex/pass hook ups because im just too lazy to delete pictures...and sometimes i forget there up there... Link to comment
EssexMan Posted January 15, 2013 Share Posted January 15, 2013 ^^^ Same here. Plus, some of them are quite nice pictures and so what if they are about the past, just because a relationship is in the past doesn't mean it didn't happen and all record of it has to be expunged! Link to comment
LonelyGirl10 Posted January 15, 2013 Share Posted January 15, 2013 Yeah, I left my pictures of my prior ex up on facebook until my most recent ex asked me to delete them. A lot of them were international traveling, which was something I was proud of. So that's why I had left them up. Kinda related question... do you think it's expected for you to delete all pictures of exes when you're in a relationship with someone new? I have mixed feelings on it. Link to comment
DepthOfField Posted January 15, 2013 Share Posted January 15, 2013 ^^^ Same here. Plus, some of them are quite nice pictures and so what if they are about the past, just because a relationship is in the past doesn't mean it didn't happen and all record of it has to be expunged! Couldn't agree more. This is a HIGHLY subjective topic, so there's no right or wrong. It all depends on the individual(s). I'm in your Ex's position. My ex broke up with me two months ago - Although I was heartbroken, it was amicable. I'm a photographer myself, so I have a fair bit of pictures of my ex online, and in general. Two weeks after the breakup, she unfriended me, and un-tagged herself from most of the photos which are the two of us (except 20 or so). I haven't taken anything down, mainly because my Facebook albums are a timeline of my life, showing the people and events which have come and gone over the years. My ex was important at one time in my life. Just because I still have pictures of her/us, doesn't mean I haven't moved on in my life. I'm in no rush to take them down. If/when I move on to someone else and they're uneasy with it, then I'll consider taking them down. However, I'm never ever deleting pictures from my hard drive. Those are there to stay. Link to comment
CeeLambrini Posted January 15, 2013 Share Posted January 15, 2013 I think going through pictures and deleting/untagging is as ritualistic after a break up as shoving all their stuff in plastic bags and throwing them away/giving them back. I personally deleted the profile pictures only - but there's still some in the albums I've uploaded. Like I said - it's a ritual - it's getting rid of the past and not having to look at it anymore. However, if he is as uncaring as you say he is he probably never had to go through a facebook picture "cleanse" - and probably doesn't even look at them. Link to comment
Reflective82 Posted January 15, 2013 Share Posted January 15, 2013 Am I the only one who thinks deleting pictures is more mean than not? I think leaving them there means they care and you did mean something to them. Personally, if I deleted pictures of the ex, it would be because I really don't care and want to erase them from my life. So I'd be happy if they were left. Not that it means anything especially positive, but it's better than deleting IMO Link to comment
sarahvalent Posted January 15, 2013 Author Share Posted January 15, 2013 Ok I understand everyone has different opinions of this.. My opinion is that "couple photos" should be deleted and untagged from after the break up, group photos are ok - if it's a prom or travelled somewhere together or something that would also be ok (although too cosy should be taken down). Otherwise I think they should be on your personal harddrive where new partners don't have to see it. (I don't ever delete photos from my computer). I know I could be overthinking but in this case I'm not. I was a rebound for him and honestly never meant anything to him. I really don't need to be on any "timeline" of his life because he never invested and we weren't together long. He also has previously done the purge of ex photos that he had uploaded (left tagged ones that she had uploaded) so he is obviously capable of it. He has since created new albums so to delete an album that is centred around me is really not difficult, there's no such thing as being too lazy if he is not too lazy to create new albums and upload. I honestly think it is mostly to not lose face in front of his ex or others, so he can pretend to himself he's not such a douche as to have used me as a rebound. And because he is so insecure he probably likes the validation of having been with me. Link to comment
abitbroken Posted January 15, 2013 Share Posted January 15, 2013 Why are you looking at your ex's photos? If you are broken up, why isn't he unfriended/blocked? At least unfriended...and blocked if you are tempted to look. That would be my bigger question. Link to comment
sarahvalent Posted January 16, 2013 Author Share Posted January 16, 2013 He is unfriended. I am just tagged in some of me individually so I know he hasn't deleted them... I've thought maybe I should untag from those too since its keeping me a bit invested I guess, but I'm just curious.. I don't know, maybe that's my next step Link to comment
Reflective82 Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 I don't think it's a big deal- I never delete pictures, I just don't look back at the old albums....leaving them there is fine I wouldn't stress Link to comment
soloman9 Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 If what you say is true about you meaning nothing to him, this is your answer. The last girl he cared a lot about so probably out of spite/pain he deleted their old photos. If you were insignificant to him then he probably doesn't care enough to delete. Link to comment
DepthOfField Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 If what you say is true about you meaning nothing to him, this is your answer. The last girl he cared a lot about so probably out of spite/pain he deleted their old photos. If you were insignificant to him then he probably doesn't care enough to delete. This is not necessarily true. Him not deleting photos is completely open to interpretation. My ex meant SO much to me, her photos are still all over my facebook. Link to comment
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