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How to tell if a girl was a virgin or not.

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Hey guys, heres my story, sorry if its a little long.


Ive been datin this girl for a while now, and all along shes been tellin me that she was a virgin. She had the whole belief that sex was meant for when someones in love, not just for the hell of it. Well one day, she decided to go ahead and try it for the first time. After, she was really happy that she got to do it with someone she cared for as her first time, instead with some random guy in a just a hookup. Up till now I had no reason to think that she wasnt a virgin, I mean she was very awkward durin the whole time, didnt know what to do, and she said that it hurt a lot for a while, tho she never bled, not one tiny bit, or at least not durin or a little after.


I was talkin to a frind about the whole virgin thing, and when i mentioned that my gf didnt bleed at all the first time, he was ratehr surprised, cuz his gf bled a lot her first time. That kinda made me think that maybe she lied about it. Tho I reallly doubt she did, I still cant help but have that thought in the back of my mind. So my question is, do all girls bleed the first time or does it differ from girl to girl. Also, shes done a lot of fingering in her past, so i thought that that could be the reason she didnt bleed, but my friend told me just fingering is not enough to break the hymen thingy that causes the bleeding.


So please, anyone if u know somethin about this, let me know.

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Some girls aren't born with a hymen, some girls have very stretchable hymen, some girls broke their hymen during PE, dance, whatever. So, not all girls have hymens and it's not a big deal.


...I'm more concerned with your attitude. Why do you care so much?


I personally find that attitude offensive. You love her, that's why you're with her right? So why the hell does it matter if she's a virgin or not?


I imagine you're not very old since you don't know if all girls will bleed, then, you won't be her last boyfriend. If you care about virginity, you shouldn't be having sex with her to begin with. If you care about virginity you better be a virgin while dating your last girlfriend. Who are you to accuse her or doubt her when you're not being "faithful" to your future wife?

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Wow rage, "tea" i think you need to chill out, maybe the guy didn't care that much if she was lying or not but just wondering more about the breaking of the hymen.


but for the post-er yes some girls don't have a hymen and some don't break, also some break easily, one of my friends said that hers broke while on a run so basically every ones different and could easily be broken or hard to break. good luck in the future.



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wow calm down there. First of all, im not young, im 20 and im sorry that i dont fkin know every single detail about the female anatomy. The only thing that i care about is whether or not she lied about it, not whether she was a virgin or not. That doesnt matter to me, what matters is if she was truthful to me when she told me all that, because we have had alot of talk about the subject, and it would be pretty mean to have lied all this time.

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Then sorry. I lived in a society with a bunch of guys who are both virgin killers AND people with virginity complexs.


If your girlfriend lied to you, maybe she came from some twisted society like that too.


These guys... will only date virgins because virgins are "cleaner" and they don't want to be having sex with other men, their goal is to break her virginity in under 3 months, and wipe their mouths and leave. Soon they'll move on to the next virgin and it starts over again.


If they happen to date a non-virgin they will actually whine and cry about how they're cheated and they feel dirty and now they can't love her anymore, when in fact they didn't respect her to begin with.



... those are the more awful ones.


There are also the guys who'll date anyone, but will only marry virgins. If they break someone's virginity and dont' marry her, so be it. If she comes around again, he won't marry her because she's not a virgin anymore... even though he did the job.



... it's kind of hard to not be angry at your question when I know A LOT of these guys. It's disgusting, but there are a lot of them out there. For the longest time I was afraid of sex because of them. It took long realization that those men are jerks and I'll never want them in my sight to be able to do whatever I want.


...I hate them for ruining the lives of so many women.

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I think that if you have a loving and trusting relationship with your girlfriend that she was probably telling you the truth about being a virgin. I don't understand why you are so concerned over whether or not she lied to you about being a virgin. She told you she was, she seemed like it during sex, and you have had long talks with her about it so I would say that, no she didn't lie to you about it, unless she lies about things and you think this could be one of those times.


Girls are born with different hymens. Some are thicker and cover more of the entrance to the vagina. Others have less skin there and still others are perforated. Many things can break the hymen like fingering, falling down, riding horses, tampons, or sex, among other things.

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Not all girls bleed their first time. I did not bleed one drop my first time. It sounds like she was a virgin because she said it hurt her and it only hurts the first few times or so. Relax and believe her unless she gives you a REAL reason not to believe her. You should be able to trust your gf.

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I understand where tea is coming from.


For girls to be with guys.. it's a big deal.


Not so much so for the guy, the more girls he sleeps with the more of a pimp he is.


I think it is a difficult choice for a girl to decide whether the person she is with is worthy of giving herself for.


I know there are many guys out there just to add another tally to their kill-list and not really in it for meaningful relationship.


I usually don't mind the past of my future gf's. As long as she wasn't promiscuous I don't care too much. But I would honestly still rather not know


What is in her past is in her past. She didn't know of my existence before I appeared in her life and I can only judge her on her actions while she is with me.

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I'm glad someone understands.


I know this guy who dedicated an entire website to this issue. He has 600+ "followers" who said... basically along the lines of, "finally someone's speaking our heart and isn't afraid of being shot down!"


This guy writes at least 1 analytical essay a month to criticize women who had sex with men, why men shouldn't and wouldn't have sex with these dirty women, how hymen is there for a purpose so men can check on the chastity of women...


Gosh, I lost his website, but he's .. just amazing. He's Chinese, so I guess American girls don't have to fear guys like that "as much."


My favorite on his website was something like... Semen can stay in a vagina and become part of the outer skins of vagina, then later on when women have sex with another man and become pregnant, the genes from the first man will also be in the child, so the man will actually be having sex with a man and a woman + his child won't really be his... he actually found some German studies to back that up. I was disgusted.



... yeah, I know plenty of Asian men who think like that. Not just Chinese, but also Japanese (older generation), Korean... Vietnamese...


Thanks to them Asians are off limits for me now. I wouldn't dare date one of those and later on find out he's twisted.


These guys really hurt their women if they find out she wasn't a virgin. If they "suspect" that after a marriage they'll basically treat her as a slave and use that as an excuse to commit adultary. There are also thousands of women who are still suffering from that mentality but don't know how to get out. Their husbands are abusive, treat them like slaves, call them words which you can't use on this forum... abuse their children because "who knows if that's my kid!"


Someone like that once said, "It's a sin to be a woman." He's a 32 year old guy who really should have been educated enough to value gender equality.


Another guy said, "If you're not a virgin anymore you're a wh0re." I suspect he thinks the same of his mom.




It's flat out disgusting but it's really happening.


I even recently had a guy friend who said, "Don't ever believe a guy when he tells you he doesn't care about virginity." He wanted to warn me because he just recently saw too many cases of women being mistreated due to that little piece of meat.


...of course, I would never tell this guy that I'm not a virgin anymore. Who knows what they'll do to me. =)


BF understands my concerns. He wouldn't even hold my hand around my family and he always stands at least 1 feet away from me to protect my reputation, let alone let my parents have the slightest idea that I might not be a virgin anymore.




....sorry, that's why when you asked you immediately came off as one of the people I described above. All I could think of is how you'd torture your girlfriend from now on because you suspect she's not a virgin anymore.

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Tea is on to something. There is far too much misunderstanding and ignorance about female sexuality and anatomy these days even though we live in the age of information. Luckily, there is a wealth of information on the internet about this topic. Of course, as tea points out there is also a wealth of misinformed people on the web and in the real world so you need to be careful about where you get your information.


Some of the posts to your question gave you the correct answer but I strongly suggest that you (and others) start reading up on this subject. No one is expecting that you become an expert in female anatomy but you should at least get your facts straight. Also, stop asking your friend because he has no clue. Women have had to put up with this kind of ignorance for centuries and its time to put a stop to it.


Here is a website you will find informative:


link removed

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well, not all girls bleed their first time, and some dont bleed at all. personally, i didnt bleed the first time, but oddly enough, i bled the second time. also, it may have something to do with the sexual position you two used.


some positions allow the penis deeper access to the vagina while others not so much. if you were in one of these not-so-deeper positions then you may not have broken her hymen (if she lied to you and was still a virgin). but remember, EVERY GIRL IS DIFFERENT......

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First of all guys, the hymen is not a true test for virginity. Bc a girl can tear her hymen doing vigerous exercise, climbing a tree, or even stretching. Geo_Jene makes many valid and logical points: we live in the information age thereforeeee, ignorance and myths are no longer accpeted as absolute truth. So i'll say it again. Whether the hymen is intact or not, it does not mean a girl is a true virgin cause many girls have sex and thier hymens remain intact. So the statement that says an intact hymen proves a girl's viginity is fallacious and lacks total truth and logic.

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I think we might have gotten away from the original poster's problem/question. I can sympathize with him because my ex-gf was not completely honest with me either about her virginity. I was a virgin when we had sex, and she claimed she was as well although she never bled or did she have any kind of hymen. I know that it can be lost prior to this and she claimed it was do to something related to her sports activities. I believed her, and honestly the fact that she didn't have a hymen didn't bother me because I knew that she could lose it to any number of reasons.


Anyway, I knew something was awry when she later told me it was due to a tampon, and when I finally just straight up asked her to tell the truth she said she'd allowed someone to finger her. Now, I'm no Rhodes Scholar here, but I knew she'd been lying. It wasn't a big deal to me that she'd done something like that, but rather that she'd lied about something that was obviously important to me at the time.


I guess it's just the trust and honesty thing here, not whether she had sex or not. It's always hard to trust someone when they lie to you, but I find it especially hard if they were to lie about their sexual past. The fact that a girl or guy lies about being a virgin to someone else who is also a virgin, that's what we're getting at here. Virginity is not a joke however much some of you like to portray it as just something to be broken or taken. I loved my ex-gf dearly and I gave her something that was special to me, and when she'd no other man had seen her or done anything sexual to her then was evidently lying... well, that was hard to stomach at the time. I got over it, yes, but it was just one in a string of lies that she perpetuated.

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