BlueKitten Posted December 31, 2012 Share Posted December 31, 2012 How often do dumpers break and check out their ex's Facebook page? That is if you are still friends with your ex on FB.... Link to comment
rachelques Posted December 31, 2012 Share Posted December 31, 2012 im the dumpee and i can say i look at his FB and twitter a lot... just to see who hes talking to Link to comment
Jennifer89 Posted December 31, 2012 Share Posted December 31, 2012 The dumper checks my page all the time. When I updated my relationship status to single he hit "like" when i updated it to "in a relationship" he deleted me, then added my a month later. I feel like he's almost obsessive over my page. I've been thinking about blocking him. Link to comment
HopeArises Posted December 31, 2012 Share Posted December 31, 2012 I am the dumpee. My ex has kept me as a friend on her facebook for the last year, but has slowly put more and more restrictions on what I can and cannot see on her page and in the timeline. I can't see when she is online. I can't see any comments she leaves. I can't see any pics that she is tagged in. Honestly, I don't even check, but knowing she has done this, when I have never given her a reason to do so, makes me want to unfriend her completely and make her aware of why I am doing it. Why she has gone to the extent of doing all of this, but has not just unfriended me, I have NO idea. Link to comment
Blue92 Posted December 31, 2012 Share Posted December 31, 2012 Not too often, but every now and again. It's just out of curiosity though, not because I'm still interested. Link to comment
Sportster2005 Posted December 31, 2012 Share Posted December 31, 2012 How often do dumpers break and check out their ex's Facebook page? That is if you are still friends with your ex on FB.... My dumper is blocked. When I dump someone I block them. I find it easier to move on that one. I don't understand why people want to stay in their ex's life, be it dumper or dumpee. Consider blocking exes. It is very peaceful and helps you move on quicker. Link to comment
matti Posted December 31, 2012 Share Posted December 31, 2012 My dumper is blocked. When I dump someone I block them. I find it easier to move on that one. I don't understand why people want to stay in their ex's life, be it dumper or dumpee. Consider blocking exes. It is very peaceful and helps you move on quicker. I agree... Even if I've found it a bit hard myself. It's just seems to be the most logical way of moving on. There's no use in watching the other person move on without you, so why bother. I guess sometimes we secretly hope that our exes will look at our pages and become jealous over the fact that we hide our true feelings and give off the impression that we've been moving on very well without them. But we all know the truth. In all reality it obstructs us from actually moving on. It's best to take Sportster's advice and let the unknown assist you in moving on. Besides, unless it's poison, what you don't know won't hurt you after all. Besides, why give them the privilege of knowing what you've been up to anyways. Let it be a complete mystery Link to comment
HopeArises Posted December 31, 2012 Share Posted December 31, 2012 I agree... Even if I've found it a bit hard myself. It's just seems to be the most logical way of moving on. There's no use in watching the other person move on without you, so why bother. I guess sometimes we secretly hope that our exes will look at our pages and become jealous over the fact that we hide our true feelings and give off the impression that we've been moving on very well without them. But we all know the truth. In all reality it obstructs us from actually moving on. It's best to take Sportster's advice and let the unknown assist you in moving on. Besides, unless it's poison, what you don't know won't hurt you after all. Besides, why give them the privilege of knowing what you've been up to anyways. Let it be a complete mystery I wish my ex (the dumper) would block me. It would make things easier on me, rather than what she's done. Kept me as a friend on her facebook, yet restricted everything I can and can't see. It's like only knowing 1/8th of the story. Would probably shock her if I was the one who unfriended her. Would she even notice? Link to comment
matti Posted December 31, 2012 Share Posted December 31, 2012 I would just do it if I were you. Do you two even talk anymore? If not why bother? You're only feeding into her BS, so to speak... Allowing her to feel as though she has gotten the best of you by leaving the connection open. Besides, if it's been a year and they're still acting all stubborn and selfish-like, I'd say that it's about time to call it quits. Have some dignity and be the one to sever the connection. Why let her think that she's got you on a little string? Link to comment
rask Posted December 31, 2012 Share Posted December 31, 2012 Honestly, never. There was a reason why I dumped them, there is not a reason for me to keep tabs or see how their life is going. Same goes for being dumped, no reason for me to be in their life anymore. People take this social networking crap too seriously. "I wish she would block me." Dude, block her. There is seriously nothing preventing that, there is no law that says the dumpee cannot block the dumper. Take the initiative, and block her. She's out of sight, out of mind. She's slowing blocking you anyway, just doing it little by little, so why keep waiting? The way I see it, yeah, I might have had a relationship at a certain point with my ex's. But there is nothing that they're going to do that's going to be even slightly interesting to me. And I certainly don't want to see their statuses about their new relationships. I love myself too much for that, and don't need to see it. If I dump someone, it's because I honestly just don't care about them anymore, so there's no point in me remaining friends or checking their facebook. Link to comment
AnonLadyOnline Posted December 31, 2012 Share Posted December 31, 2012 I like to put up funny sayings and quotes, but I'm feeling trapped now and like everything I say from now on he will think is about him. I dont want to mess with his head, or have him think I'm messing with his head. I just want to get back to being me and having a laugh with my friends. How do you get over that? Link to comment
rask Posted December 31, 2012 Share Posted December 31, 2012 I like to put up funny sayings and quotes, but I'm feeling trapped now and like everything I say from now on he will think is about him. I dont want to mess with his head, or have him think I'm messing with his head. I just want to get back to being me and having a laugh with my friends. How do you get over that? You unfriend/block him. Link to comment
BlueKitten Posted December 31, 2012 Author Share Posted December 31, 2012 Yeah it's weird because i know that i should probably defriend my ex (the dumper) but its just so hard for me to cut those ties because i feel like im deleting a part of my history....ugh. So dumpers really dont look at their ex's FB page or instagram? Link to comment
matti Posted December 31, 2012 Share Posted December 31, 2012 To be honest... I'm sure they may check it from time to time. But, it may not be for the reason you're hoping for. They may just be a bit worried about you and are perhaps checking it to make sure you're doing alright or well on your way to moving on. You have to realize (and it took me a while to realize this myself), that they broke up with you for a reason and it's probably not going to change anytime soon. The more research that I've been doing, the more I realize the truth. You have to take this time to work on you now. If it's going to work out in the future, it's going to be because you've taken the time to fix yourself and move on and that might re-spark the other person's interest. If not, by then it's hopefully not going to matter much anyways. Regardless, if the dumper does ever come back, it's going to be after you've moved on and healed yourself anyways. so we might as well get busy. Not to be harsh. Link to comment
loveology Posted December 31, 2012 Share Posted December 31, 2012 I rarely look at my ex's page, although sometimes curiosity strikes me and I'll have a peek. I think if you dated for long enough, most dumpers will be curious enough to have a look now and again but it certainly doesn't mean that they want the dumpee back in any way. Link to comment
calichick007 Posted December 31, 2012 Share Posted December 31, 2012 I wish my ex (the dumper) would block me. It would make things easier on me, rather than what she's done. Kept me as a friend on her facebook, yet restricted everything I can and can't see. It's like only knowing 1/8th of the story. Would probably shock her if I was the one who unfriended her. Would she even notice? If you unfriended her and she did not respond in any way (the likely result), could you be okay with that? Or would you feel compelled to follow up with another piece of correspondence? Link to comment
Yellowaura Posted January 2, 2013 Share Posted January 2, 2013 It would only cause another argument if i deleted him and he (dumper) only goes on to check my fb page. Apparently. Not that he can see anything. And yes I know this because he has told me. And it's a minimum of once a week at the moment because 'he doesn't want me out of his life'. Taken that decision away now though. Tough luck. I will say though since BU I haven't even really been on there tbh. And the couple of times I have I haven't looked at his page. It's not something that's important to me at the moment. Link to comment
dumPI Posted January 2, 2013 Share Posted January 2, 2013 Even if they check it, are they contacting you to get back together? If not, then it's not the outcome you want. You don't want them to remember you, you want them to love you. Link to comment
Snow93 Posted January 2, 2013 Share Posted January 2, 2013 'Nother dumpee here. I'd be usually quite good at not checking myself although I would have moments of weakness and check her page out. She was the one who told me we should unfriend though, she admitted she checked my page and felt bad seeing recent pictures of me at a party. I was all too happy to accept and now she's blocked and unfriended. I could still check out her twitter if I wanted to. I haven't though. I don't know exactly how to block on twitter and I'm scared to go on her page at all to try. Just seeing her saying anything, anything at all...It makes me so mad. I want to forget her. Link to comment
Brittanyxox90 Posted January 3, 2013 Share Posted January 3, 2013 I am the dumpee, me and him were never friends on fb. Should have been a big hint. I only checked his FB twice since the BU. First time I was devasted because his dumping was rather vague and abrupt I guess I checked it looking for an answer. Although I did not see the "in a relationship" (ours included) nor did I see "single" I did see him talking to a woman. She 'liked' all of his pics, He 'liked' all of her pics (except the one showing her two children, LOL) I was even more heartbroken than before realizing this is what he left me for. Then I checked it again about a week ago, it still didn't say "in a relationship", and it seems while his flirting was amped up on her page, her flirtations weren't as strong. Which made me think maybe he acted too quickly and she doesn't want him afterall (Hey, I can dream right LOL) I was so gassed at this, that I never had the desire to check. I also wouldn't know how I would feel if he was dating someone, although I guess I don't have much choice. I don't know if he ever has looked me up. I "unfollowed" him on twitter a couple weeks ago, and he "unfollowed" me back a few days ago. I suppose he may be checking up on me in that sense... Gah, Idk no reason for me to check up on him anymore nothing will change, and the only heart it kills is mine. And him checking up on me is dumb, because he dumped me in the first place. In the words of Blanche Deveraux "That is a big, who cares? Story. That is a why in the hell tell in the first place, story?" Link to comment
Johanna81 Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 I'm the dumpee, and my X broke up with me not even two weeks ago- claiming no other girl was involved etc etc. Then this past Saturday he unfriended me and all my friends from his FB page and checked into a bar in NYC with some girl and her friend. Link to comment
BlueKitten Posted January 22, 2021 Author Share Posted January 22, 2021 After all these years from this initial post, having now experienced the side of being the dumper a couple times, I can finally answer my own question. (Amazing how life works like that!) As the dumper, I have rarely checked the social media of people I dumped. When I have, however, it was only out of curiosity. Nothing more. I think this is partially because the dumpee kept reaching back out and didn't give me time to miss him, so I didn't really feel as much of a loss. The other bigger (and maybe sadder) reason, however, was that by the time I broke up with someone it was usually because I had been feeling off for awhile. I was ready to cut the chord and not move backwards in time. Link to comment
ForeverLearning Posted January 22, 2021 Share Posted January 22, 2021 On 12/30/2012 at 9:09 PM, snowbored960 said: How often do dumpers break and check out their ex's Facebook page? That is if you are still friends with your ex on FB.... I never do.... then again I don’t even have FB Link to comment
.thumb.jpeg.44db4c04df92b9d233296a0149430b4d.jpeg)
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.