WHY DO WE WANT OUR EX BACK?

[Cecil de Volange]

I have read so many messages in the forums about wanting their ex-boyfriend's or ex-girlfriend's back. I won't deny that I also want my ex-boyfriend back. He was my first love, my first kiss, and my first on the innocent meaning of first (except sex, I'm a virgin). We all question ourselves why does our love story have to end depressingly? Why we have to let them go? Why can't we stop thinking about them? Why can't we all just move one with our lives? Why go back to our either miserable past? We can answer this questions, but it is hard to let go.

Honestly, the only explanation I could give to everyone is either some people don't want to be alone or some are longing for a certain affection. We all crave an unconditional love of a certain relationships. Majority of us wanted a fairytale relationship or either we want someone who could atleast catch us when we are falling down from our emotional self. Although I hate to say, those type of men or women are very rare these century. Not so many wanted to jump to a relationship immediately, but some just want sex or something else.

I can say that I love my ex with all my heart, as a matter of fact I saw him a week ago. It was a rainy day, and I saw him walk by. We talk for a few minutes, but I wish it was longer. I missed him so...much that I just wanted to hold him in my arms, but I couldn't. I must remain strong, even though I really wanted him back. We were miserable when we were together. I was the only one making it work. I love him dearly, but the ending of the relationship was our only savior. Both people has to be willing to save the relationship, but I am sad to say that only one of us wanted to work it out, which was me.

"Love is every persons weakness......"

[daredevil]

Very nice written, I can follow in every inch of the story.... my ex was also my first everything and just as in your case im still virgin after it... As u say that even though we miss them, we know they aren't going to be in our future, because the person really worth all our love, is the people who also does something to keep the relationship and love growing...

 

Im very deligthed to see that you know you have to move on, and u have also given me some more strength to keep up my now being path... thank you

 

yours sincerely DD

[DBL]

I think a lot of us want to go back to our miserable paths because of insecurity issues. Sometimes it is scary to move on, but atleast with your x in the past you knew where you stood. You already knew the pain that you would have. Also who wants to give up what they are familiar with? When you are with someone you develop patterns and habits, which can be hard to get over.

 

I do still believe in the fairy tale...You kind of have to think of your past relationships as a learning experience. Basically forming and molding you, teaching lessons - the dos and don'ts in a relationship...all to prepare you for when you meet the right person. If you didn't have these experience you really wouldn't know what you like or don't like in your significant other.

 

Relationships are just like jobs. Every job you have you learn new skills, new skills on coping with all different situations. You start to get an idea of what you want out of a job. You make changes to your life to accomendate what your goals are in your career. Really not much of a difference except the job has a lower emotional value, but all the same most people are still upset when they leave their job, even if they dispised it.

 

DBL

[MissMandaJo]

The only reason I would want my ex back is because the emotional connection and closeness that we established. People get attached, and it's instinctive to go running back to something that used to be comforting.

[Cecil de Volange]

I agree with the bond that was created with our ex. Both develop closeness, a sense of security, and the part of being comfotable with each other. It feels as if we have found another best friend although it will put any person of having difficulty of letting go. I do agree with DBL of a closeness being develop and who would want to cut the strings of such closeness, but does anyone really need to live with such unhappiness. Their is no such thing as a fairytale ending. To my understanding, fairytales are types of relationships that are more likely to end and turn to a learning experience. It is a part of our experience that we will either forget or cherished the bond created.

 

I never really wanted to end my relationship with my ex, because I develop this sense of trust with him. Although "If the relationship is not working out, you have to let them go no matter how much you care or even love about the person." It was very hard...to tell him it is over...