What does god have against nice people like me?

[Shinobie]

Does god dislike me?I mean i believe in religion but sometimes i think "Is god even there?".I mean nothing seems right and nothing ever works for the good and the nice.I mean why did god make me ugly if i have such good morals?Why does he make one of my friends a pretty boy who just uses women who start to love him for sex?I mean is god there it does not make sense at all.My friend doesnt want commitment at all.he just wanst a gf too have sex with until he gets tired of them.Some women are just so naive and these are many of the girls that put me down and call me ugly.I get all this depression problems and mental problems.Whenever i am trying to become and be as pure of a person as i can be.Just like hold good morals and stuff but no it never happens want a girlfriend so bad and just someone to be with but god gives me all these obstacles i have to somehow get over to actually maybe get one.I hate life and never will ever get it i do not think.But iono i still thnk there is a god there and that he likes me but it just makes me so confused.

[DBL]

Shinobie...I hope you going to tell us you went out with your friends trick or treating instead of playing video games....

 

A lot of girls are easy like you describe. They aren't nieve, they are just "loose" for a better term. Those are the kind of girls that you don't want to date. If a girl is braizen enough to call you ugly to your face, what do you care if they get used by your friend then?

 

You need more confidence in yourself. Since none of us know what you look like, why don't you give us a description of yourself and maybe some of the girls here will tell you how to change some things to help you out.

 

DBL

[chanceit]

You could become an atheist then you could just blame bad luck....

 

On a serious note - i'm sure he doesn't hate you - he's given you the freedom to make your own decisions so start making some positive ones and stop thinking so negatively - because for starters girls (anyone for that matter) find it extremly unattractive...

[Mun]

Shinobie,

If you want to blame it on god then maybe it comes from him, but not as you think. What if god is just presenting you with challenges that will bring out your character and inner strength? You are wiser and have more morals then your friends so you are able to see when they are doing something wrong. You have a conscience that doesn't let you hurt others for the fun of it. Believe me that is something that doesn't go un-rewarded and you will have yours, but it just may be further down the line.

 

People can be cruel. I know this for a fact and many don't look at themselves and their own faults before the judge other people. Try not to let them bring you down. Work on yourself, improve wherever you need it and just do your best to get ahead.

 

One thing I can tell you is that a girlfriend is not going to solve all your problems. You have to do that yourself, but I do understand what you want : someone to be there for you. Until she comes you can only be there for yourself--you depend on you.

 

So get out more, talk to girls, if they turn you down hey it's their loss cause you sound like a good guy to me.

[dreamweaverdude]

Shinobie,

 

I feel for you dude. I was the dude always in the church doors, always treated people right and tried to be good to everyone, if you needed hel p iwas there, and for years i felt and still at times feel used.. unappreciated. and yes i'm no pretty boy either shinobie.... and menuca hinted on it.. you dont need a girl to make who you are.... yes companionship is great.. we all want and need it...... but dont get too down dude.. there is someone there for you that will appreciate your morals and dependabilitiy..... i bet if you quit looking so hard she might just appear...... I used to think the exact way you do until God brought a person into mylife that makes me feel so important and so loved...... and so appreciated.. and it really started because I did care and I helped her in a time of need.. she saw the real me... not a physical body to judge...... and our more-than -friendship has lasted over two years now.. and I swear she is my absolute best friend in life.... bar none. ANd it was all 'accidental' in the inital meeting...... so dont try so hard and as others have told me "Let Go and let God"..... lethim pull it altogether for you. ANd with God's blessing Shinobie she'll be more than a friend one day!

 

YOu do need ot find a way to develop more self-confidence and i know that's hard to do... but if you want to attract and keep girls confidence is important.. maybe some of the ladies of the forum will comment on that for oyu.. nothing worng with being humble......... but guys need to show confidence took me 20 + years to learn that SHinobie..... Good Luck

[odysseus77]

dbl, i disagree slightly...some girls really do this because they are naive, i know this because of knowing my ex-girlfriends group, and sadly even her now , however, some definitely do it because they are "loose"

 

Shinobie, here is my theory, and you can take it or leave it. God creates us as eaither good looking or bad looking. And I think this influences how our morality and strength develop...I think that a larger percent who develop to be good looking end up having the lower morals, and lesser strength. I think this is due to the fact that they are influenced by society and the media showing them what other "beautiful" peple are "supposed" to do (ie spring break, sleep around, etc)....dont get me wrong, there are good looking people with very strong morals, they are just harder to find, and are very strong in their beliefs, because trust me they have been in contact with a lot of peer pressure to do the "beautiful" people thing (i know this from personal experience...stay strong and proud of your morality, and if you say you aren't that good looking, well maybe it would be beneficial for you to lower your standards for the looks in girls as well...after all, they could be beatiful on the inside, but just waiting for someone to look past the outer shell, like you....my two cents

[Caldus]

I think the debate on whether or not God exists in the first place should be left alone or at least taken elsewhere as these kind of topics are very sensitive and prone to eventual flaming.

 

Shinobie, I personally believe that you should stop questioning why things are the way they are and just continue to build confidence in yourself. Obviously things happen for a reason and you don't need to sit there and formulate a complicated hypothesis as to why things are the way they are for you. Go straight to the solution which is to get out more and to become more comfortable under your own skin and things should change. Believe me.

[Caldus]

Here's one thing that I do want to debate about though. It's that video games are completely counterproductive to solving this problem. Shinobie, all I did in high school was play video games and write computer programs on the computer until 2 in the morning before the next day of school. I would go around school looking like a zombie and all I thought about was video games and computer programs. I didn't want to have anything to do with anybody but once in a while I would feel like I needed a girlfriend but told myself I would never be able to get one. I think too much video games can really make things hard for you. Try to cut down a bit on that stuff every day if you can. I stopped playing video games before my first year in college and my situation has only gotten better ever since. So I think cutting down on the video games would definitely be a step in the right direction.

[Starkitty]

Shinobie, I've been reading you posts for awhile now and I relate to alot of things. I also wonder why even though I try to help other people and I'm the polite sweetie that would do almost anything for anyone and I don't get anything in return.. except abuse from people.

 

It sounds like the guy who sleeps around needs sex to feel better.. an ego or confidence boost?

You'll find the right girl once you learn to love yourself.

I want you to make me a list of every good point about you! (I'm gonna make one for myself too since I'm trapped in the same chain of thoughts.)

Don't list any bad points just the good ones. If you don't want to post it here PM me.

 

In fact why don't the people with this problem all find a way together of how to feel better about ourselfs and solve our low self esteem problems?

We could all try things and see if it makes a difference and report back on out successes.

If anyones interested I could start a post on it.

 

Those girls that say your ugly are proberbly trying to boost thier egos too! They must be pretty shallow to judge you on looks and I bet these same girls end up with your friend.

 

If someone doesn't like you thats thier problem! They'll come in and out of your life, but you have to live with yourself forever! So do what makes YOU happy!

As said before a girl isn't going to make things better, but she can teach you alot of things about yourself. I think we must all go through obsticles, but some of us choose the harder path. Others try to avoid it and it'll creep up on them later.

 

Theres nothing wrong with you as a person! You seem like a nice guy and very smart! but you are your own worst enemy! You have to break the circle of fear that you're in and once you've done that things will get better! just be as positive as you can and think as much good stuff as you can! If you're happy with yourself and you're doing what you want to do then you must be on the right path and anything else is just a distraction. You'll find a girl, but don't choose the first one that comes along because that'll just end up in tears. Wait until you've found one you know your going to enjoy being with and someone you can be yourself with.