EX broke NC, what to do?

[onetallulah]

Hello All. Almost 6 months ago I broke off a year long relationship for valid reasons (his inability to be there for me emotionally during a tragic event. When times were good, we were great, but once you need support during a difficult situation a person's true character emerges). My ex continued to communicate with me but refused to see me to discuss why I ended things. He wanted to remain friends, but I didn't want that as we did not start off as friends, and mostly because he wasn't there for me even as a friend would have been during my tragic situation. I then stopped all contact and about a month later he emailed me to congratulate me on seeing a movie I had worked on. I did not respond, holding true to NC. A few days later he emailed me again, wanting to know how I was, what was going on in my life. A part of me wants to be completely honest and say: "Please don't contact me anymore because I am not emotionally able to be 'friendly' because of all of my pain and disappointment in how he wasn't there when I needed him to be" The other part of me, the one that still loves him and would love to reunite wants to be friendly and see where it goes. I guess the real question is: WHY does he still want to be friendly, to know how I'm doing. If he wanted to be with me then he would be--we would discuss the past and work it out. But he won't discuss the past, but he doesn't make any comment on having a future or trying to get back together either. (No, I haven't asked--I'm just confused by his actions) If he doesn't want to be with me, then wouldn't he just consider my not contacting him as his get out of jail free card and walk away and not look back?

 

 

Thanks for any advice anyone has to offer!

[Beec]

Who can tell what is in his thoughts? Only him, unless you can read his brainwaves and some body language.

 

If you want him back, and maybe he wants back, then you need some contact.

 

I would not talk about any issues now if I were either of you. My answers to him, from you, would be short, courteous, maybe friendly and vague. But I would respond.

[cassiana]

Personally i can forgive alot from someone who is there for you in times of crisis. HOwever I have no time for fair weather friends of either gender. For example I helped a friend when she was having relationship difficulties and when she got married she didn't even invite me to the wedding and when I asked for help she actually pretended to be too busy and avoided me. She was \useless and a user and I no longer speak to her. I think it is even worse to be in a relationship with someone like that. If let you down badly in a crisis he will always be that way so give him as little of your time as possible.