I don't think I can be friends with him...

[Reminiscence]

I met this guy in my class back in April and started seeing each other. He called things off in June but then we got back together in July. He called things off again mid-October. About a week before Thanksgiving, he spent a night with me because the previous night before I had a really disturbing nightmare. We didn't have sex but he kissed me on the cheek. I kissed him back as well.

 

I still have feelings for him but if he really just wants to be friends...I don't think I can...especially after that night. We haven't talked about that night and we didn't talk about it because we were partners on a project and a conversation about it probably would have distracted us. Now it's winter break and finals are done. We both have plenty of time to talk.

 

But then again, I know some of you are probably gonna say go NC. Granted it would be easier to go NC since he's going home out of state but almost every night these past two weeks I've been dreaming about him. I can't stop thinking about that night and what his kiss meant.

 

What do I do? I'm so lost and I could really use some guidance.

[CatchersRye]

So he is leaving the state and previous attempts at dating has resulted in him breaking up with you....I think you want what is being denied to you and what you "can't have" after this winter break.

 

He's actions in the past do not reflect fondly of him. If he has said you can only be friends. Then stick to it and remember what you liked about your activities. Then you can do those things you like with the next guy. Hopefully, one that is in-state and does promote a feeling of mutual affection.

[Reminiscence]

Well I finally confronted him about that night. He says he didn't kiss me on the cheek but didn't offer any other explanation as to why I felt something on my cheek. I was wide awake and his face was right next to mine. Either he's lying or just doesn't want to admit it. Either way I told him I still had feelings for him but he didn't say anything about that fact.

 

I can think of dozens of possibilities as to why he hasn't said anything. Maybe he doesn't know what he wants. Maybe I caught him off-guard. Maybe he just needs time. Maybe he's ignoring me because he thinks it'll help me. I don't see what's so hard for him to say the things he means. He did it twice before so I don't see why this time is so difficult. If he's trying to spare my feelings by keeping silent, it's doing the opposite.

 

Now that he is abundantly aware of my feelings I really can't be friends with him.

[CatchersRye]

I could never be friends with someone, to whom I told I had feelings for. That's fine. That's all the more reason for you to move on. He's not giving you what you want. You deserve better. Don't come up with excuses for him, listen to what he's saying and act according to his statements and not your own excuses for him.