I feel like I went too far...

[Anamarie89]

My boyfriend (who I've been going out with for a little over one week) came over last night and we fooled around, hooked up and such in the movie room. It was really fun, but I think we might have gone a little too far for my comfort. Second base, isn't that bad I know, but the scary thing to me is how it's making me feel.

 

The thing is that I was the instigator, because I really did want to go further with him (even though we haven't been going out all that long), kind of giving in to my hormonal desires, and now I feel really... dirty. Dirty for pushing him like that (of course he went along readily, he IS a guy after all) and dirty for where he touched me.

 

And now I have the feeling that our relationship has gone from being normal and comfortable to overly sexual.

 

And he also said something that kind of disturbed me: that all his girlfriends were the ones that were pushing to go further, which completely defies the sterotype, no? But of course, I was guilty of the same thing, so where did the stereotype come from? Do guys just underestimate how horny girls are?

 

And... this is the first time I've gone past kissing, and while it was fun... I don't know how to feel about it.

 

I'm fifteen, one month away from being 15 1/2, and my boyfriend is one month away from being 18.

 

I don't know what to think, I'd just like some thoughts from you all... I feel so confused and worthless.

[Alabama]

Okay, I understand if you feel bad that you went too far, and your right, guys do tend to give into their sexual desires. If you feel you went to far, then just pull back. You don't have to lose your virginity if you don't want too. Just tell your boyfriend that and I'm sure he'll understand. But, it's okay to have sex if you love the person, just do it for fun, or enjoy the sexual energy it gives you. Whatever you decide, I wish you luck!

[stratguy620]

Dont worry youre not worthless, nor did you do anything wrong. Its perfectly normal to feel bad about doing "stuff" like that if you arent used to it, especially if you were raised to think that anything sexual was bad. My gf went to Catholic school her whole life, and her parents are religious, so she was brought up with the idea that sex is dirty and bad. Of course, she got over that mindset after a while, but not because I forced her to, but bc she realized it on her own. But whatever happens DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT ever do anything that you arent sure youre ready for or that you really dont want to do. You will regert it, and you will feel 10 times worse than you do now. If u have any questions just ask.

[crookster_man]

Well I can understand your confusion in regards to sexual exploration. There is nothing to feel wrong aobut however. Sex and sexual activity is a very natural thing. The only reason you feel wrong is because our socity has created the view that sex is wrong and bad. Stems back out our western/christian history but that's a whol other post

 

Anyways regardless of the roots of your feelings they are very real to you. What is it about your actions that make you feel dirty? You say you went to fast, yet then you say you instigated the actions. So preapps you feel guilty for giving into your natural desire? There isn't anything wrong with that. Remember it's natural.

 

If you still don't feel convinced, rememeber you control your own life. If you want to slow down then talk to your boyfriend. Tell him you enjoyed yourself but that you aren't quite ready to do that again. The best test for sexual readiness is your ability to talk about it. Be safe and secure in your own life.

[SecondChance]

Yes, sexual desire is a totally normal part of growing up. And every person has to learn how to manage and control it - because, after all, it is natural, and it does feel really good

 

I think you are very smart to be cautious, however - not because sex is bad or dirty, but because it's such an expression of intimacy, and if you feel that you're not ready, pay attention to your feelings.

 

AND talk to your boyfriend! Just like society stereotypes women as non-sexual, guys are stereotyped as sex-hungry dogs who aren't expected to control anything - e.g. "after all, he is a guy..." BS!

 

Talk to him BEFORE you start making out about how far he wants to go, so you both know where the line is. That way, you both have the responsibility to stop. Sex is between TWO people, not just one, it's never just ONE person's responsibility to do ANYTHING.

 

A good general rule to remember is: if you don't feel comfortable TALKING to your partner about it, then you shouldn't be DOING it with him (or her) either.

[seesun]

yas ,sex is natural ,it is not dirty .when i was yong,i think it is direty as well.but when you grows up,you will chang your ideaolgy.