Reminiscence Posted December 2, 2012 Share Posted December 2, 2012 This guy I was seeing decided to call things off because he needed to focus on school and said he had no time for a relationship. I've heard that in some few cases that this really is the case. I understand that for some people college and getting a degree is a number one priority over a relationship. So when he told me that he no time for a relationship because of his class load I didn't argue with him. I just accepted it and walked away without a fight. What I'm thinking is that he thought that it was better off calling things off before they got too serious and not have to suffer over not being able to see someone they are interested in. This probably isn't the best way to describe it but hopefully you get the gist of it. What do you folks think? I'd like to hear opinions and experience. Is there any point in time where the "no time" reason for a break up is acceptable or do you think it's just a bunch of baloney? Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted December 2, 2012 Share Posted December 2, 2012 I'm sorry, I think it's an excuse. If that were the case, how did he find the time to date? However, I commend you for retaining your dignity. Take care... Link to comment
Reminiscence Posted December 2, 2012 Author Share Posted December 2, 2012 We started seeing each other over the summer. Our quarter started towards the end of September on 24 or a few days later. It wasn't until mid-October that he wanted to end things. Link to comment
CeeLambrini Posted December 2, 2012 Share Posted December 2, 2012 I don't know if I ever believe the "no time" excuse - unless he was a traveler or an air steward. Something where you would actually have to make time for someone. Seeing as he is simply in college, I wouldn't take it seriously. This could apply to the rest of his life, you know. When he gets a full time job, he won't have time. That means he'll be waiting until he's retired to start a relationship - well good luck there. Yeah, I seldom believe "I have no time" If you've got time for friends and family, you've got time for a relationship. It's not like he's getting a new pet and not having time to house train it. If he really liked you he would make time. Link to comment
Reminiscence Posted December 3, 2012 Author Share Posted December 3, 2012 He's told me before why he wanted to called things off. This isn't the first time. He can be pretty blunt at times. To me at least, it doesn't make sense for him to be blunt the first time and not the second time. Then again people can be fickle. And what you said about friends and family. His family is back in North Carolina and he's here in California. As for friends, I'm friends with many of his friends and they all say he's a hermit whenever they ask him to go hang. Link to comment
camus154 Posted December 3, 2012 Share Posted December 3, 2012 What do you folks think? I'd like to hear opinions and experience. Is there any point in time where the "no time" reason for a break up is acceptable or do you think it's just a bunch of baloney? What do you mean, "is acceptable"? What choice do you have either way? If you "don't accept" this excuse, what good does that do you? Link to comment
thunderknuckle Posted December 6, 2012 Share Posted December 6, 2012 'no time' is never a valid excuse. If he cared enough about you and the relationship, he would make time. it's that simple. People generally make time for things that are important to them in their lives. You're clearly not a priority for him right now. Link to comment
Amandacast57 Posted December 6, 2012 Share Posted December 6, 2012 Sounds a lot like my ex. We got together during the summer when he wasn't in school. He told me before school started that he was worried about how I would deal with him spending all his time studying. For me, it wasn't a problem. He didn't just tell me he didn't have the time. I saw that he didn't. We went from spending every day together over the summer, to seeing each other maybe once during the week and then spending the weekends together. Then we only spent the weekends together. And of course, when we did spend the weekend together, a lot of it consisted of me on the couch watching tv while he sat at the kitchen table and studied. Again, it wasn't a problem for me but he felt like he was letting me down. I don't agree that it is an "excuse". Some people have a hard time concentrating when someone they love is on their mind. Link to comment
InkedDragon Posted December 6, 2012 Share Posted December 6, 2012 If it's a priority they will make time. Link to comment
ghost1ee Posted December 7, 2012 Share Posted December 7, 2012 I never really thought that time was a factor at all when I was in university. I always had time at night to talk to my ex. I think it's just an excuse to get away and live his life by himself or maybe he's seeing someone else. But who knows, those are just possibilities. But I can understand where he's standing at. I am about to start medical school school in less than a month, and me and my ex used to talk about it a lot. She was concerned that I will be focused more on studying, and that I might find someone else while I'm there. Well, I guess that's one of the reasons that led to our break up. And we were also in an LDR. Link to comment
Reminiscence Posted December 7, 2012 Author Share Posted December 7, 2012 What do you mean, "is acceptable"? What choice do you have either way? If you "don't accept" this excuse, what good does that do you? I probably should have worded that better. I mean are there ever any scenarios where one really doesn't have time and the relationship has to take a back seat. Link to comment
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