FB message her?

[resilient7]

Hi all,

 

There's this Girl that I like who I spoke to back in Aug 2011 who shops at the store I work in but I havent seen in about 6-7months.When I say I spoke to her back in aug 2011 I meant that I actually went up to her and introduced myself and pretty much told her I liked her,not in those exact words of course.What I didnt do is ask her for her name or number or if she was even single but I complimented her and told her I thought she was very "interesting" and few other things.She was very sweet and she smiled and thanked me and being that I was very nervous I said something along the lines of "well it was nice meeting you" and I left.

 

Now I have seen her in this year about 3-4 times but havent seen her for the last 6-7 months,although whenever I would see her it would be after 2-3 months so I thought nothing of it but 6-7 months?...A co worker of mine told me he use to see her in the morning on weekends and so I thought okay she comes in on weekends due to her work schedule or something but now he hasnt seen her.I have gotten her name although it wasnt because she gave it to me,instead I read it off of her badge that was clipped at her waist.I eventually found her on FB and have been going back and forth contemplating whether I should message her finally asking her out but I dont want to appear like a stalker and have her wonder how the heck did he get my name!

 

I am leaning towards messaging her even though most people told me not to but I dont know what else to do.I wanted to write something subtle and have more or less a message in mind that doesnt make me seem crazy.Still I dont know if its a good idea and if i were to go through with it what exactly should I say to her?

She seems like a sweet girl from that one meeting but then again she might be engaged and have her BF come to my job and punch me in the face LOL.

 

Any advice would be greatly appreciated c:

[JonLH]

Well, I know from experience that talking to girls over FB isn't the BEST thing in the world. You can appear creepish to them. But in the case that you haven't seen her in 6-7 months, I wouldn't see a bad problem with it. If she knows who you are. That is a long time, and if you haven't seen her that long, then you may not see her for a while longer. You should try it, and if things go well meet at a public place, or something. I don't see anything too bad with it if she's sweet then she should respond! Though I do not want to set you up for failure, I do think that it wouldn't be bad. 6-7 months is a long time.

[resilient7]

Hey thanks man!

 

Yeah I know you arent setting me up for failure and Im ok with a rejection which is what Im more or less expecting because she is at least 6'1 with flats on and Im 5'9,not only that but our brief interaction that me and her had wasnt one with sparks in it so yeah.Thing is I cant get her out of my mind and the worst feeling is regret and i just want to know already what my chances are.Btw I last saw her 6-7 months but the brief encounter that I had was back in 2011.

[Trinity11]

Are you friends on fb? Your message might end up in the 'other' messages and she may not see it if you are not.

[resilient7]

Other messages??....Sorry but I dont understand? I dont know squat about FB really.I never had one and just created this one just to contact her and no I am not friends with her,I mean I didnt add her as a friend.

[Trinity11]

THe new version of FB includes an 'inbox' which you receive messages from your friends on fb and an 'other' messages folder. This folder can include spam or messages from people you don't know & messages from event invitations you have blocked.

WHen I discovered my 'other' inbox it was full of messages from random creeps wanting to chat, telling me how beautiful etc I am, no doubt all scammers as my profile is set to private. I also had missed messages from people replying to ads I had put up for spare rooms and car pools.

So messaging someone you don't know will likely end up in this folder. If the recipient does not know about the folder (as I didnt for some time, its not obvious) they may not see it for some time if at all.

[camus154]

Don't message her on FB. It's a weak way of trying to speak to someone you don't know, and it absolutely will come off as creepy.

 

I would forget about her. You don't cross paths nearly enough to have any pretext in which to ask her out.

[Muni1169]

THe new version of FB includes an 'inbox' which you receive messages from your friends on fb and an 'other' messages folder. This folder can include spam or messages from people you don't know & messages from event invitations you have blocked.

WHen I discovered my 'other' inbox it was full of messages from random creeps wanting to chat, telling me how beautiful etc I am, no doubt all scammers as my profile is set to private. I also had missed messages from people replying to ads I had put up for spare rooms and car pools.

So messaging someone you don't know will likely end up in this folder. If the recipient does not know about the folder (as I didnt for some time, its not obvious) they may not see it for some time if at all.

 

Wow, I never knew that! I checked mine and there were several sales pitches, and some odd message from a man from Nigeria who "saw my picture and it caught his eye." Nigerian scam artist, lol. Can they send computer viruses through FB? I hope not.

 

To the OP, I wouldn't fb message her if you are not already on her friend list because she would see the name, think "who is this?" and delete it. If you saw her many months ago at your workplace and talked briefly she is still a stranger, hardly an acquaintance. I would wait until you see her again so she becomes an actual acquaintance who knows you. Do you see other women around that you like as well? What is it about this girl you only saw once or twice? Is it JUST because she looked like Megan Fox or Amanda Seyfried? Or was there just something special you sensed about her, a connection or a glow, even if she wasn't stereotypically gorgeous? I can understand because this has happened to me so many times with men. I find certain men so attractive and do not understand why.

If it was the second reason, maybe you could do some (non creepy) finding out where she spends time, maybe you will cross paths with her again if you put yourself out there.

[resilient7]

Trinity-Thanks! So should I also send friend request? I already sent the message so no going back.

 

Camus154- Yeah I know what you mean and I was considering the implications it might have and how I might be perceived as weird and creepy.I had actually debated this for half a year and thought that no matter what I say in the message its probably going to still make me come off as probably nuts!

Thing is I just dont care anymore what she may think and have set my self up for the worst.Thing is there is no way I could meet this girl so if she decides to stop by my job and slap me or get me fired then two things will happen...I immediately lose attraction towards her and two I would tell her that there was no other way to meet her because lets face it I dont go to school with her,dont know any of her friends or relatives and dont know where she even works so there was no other way.

 

Muni1169-Yep I already sent it lol.You are also right,I am nothing to her but some guy she met more than a year ago.I thought of waiting and could definitely have waited a bit more but something told me that she moved and being since I havent seen the girl in 6-7 months I figured I got nothing to lose.I havent been checking her FB every day or anything crazy like that,in fact I only checked her FB 3 times in the last year and a half since I found out her name.As for how she looks well she is very tall,I'd say 6'1 with flats on and has the figure of a plus size model so she isnt even close to Megan Fox LOL.What I also like about her is her hair and how she wears it then there's her skin tone which is a olive skin tone color but what really did me in was her demeanor and how calm and sweet she seemed and so when I first spoke to her I was thinking she was going to brush me off when I complimented her like many girls normally do but without saying the words "leave".She instead was very warm and friendly and even blushed a little when I told her so.that's what sealed the deal with me.I just think she is stunning!

I really did sense something different about this girl and where I see may beautiful women this one definitely stands out from the rest.I dont know where she hangs out or anything,even her FB is pretty simple and nothing on it to steer me anywhere really?

[resilient7]

So I sent the Request and she accepted,I assume she also read the message but hasnt responded...what do I do now?..should I wait a couple days and write again although I dont see why I should or do I just wait it out?..

I'm thinking of just waiting it out,what do you guys think?

[Limiya]

Hey D,

Well done for taking a step. I'm glad you messaged her. The fact she accepted your request must mean she is at least curious. Nothing wrong with that now is there?

Did you keep your message casual and short?

Keep me posted

 

Limiya xxx

[resilient7]

Hey thanks Limiya

[MikNomis]

I personally think contacting her through fb was a terrible idea. You made the fb just for her, so she might see you have like no friends or pics. But that's a minor point, the main problem is that you've spoken to her ONCE, and now a year and some months later you pop out of nowhere on fb. I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't even know who the heck was adding her, and she could definitely find it odd that you found her when she never even told you her name. You said you saw her 3-4 times after speaking to her. Those were the times you should talked to her more, not chicken out and randomly pop out on facebook ages later.

 

Still, in the small chance that this works out, I really hope it does.

[Vaglar]

Usually, FB is a last-resort, low-success-rate way of becoming connected to someone. If you haven't exchanged numbers or had a decent conversation before, things will unlikely develop from becoming friends on FB. The hard part from now will be to actually meet her now that you can contact her.

[junebug123]

So I sent the Request and she accepted,I assume she also read the message but hasnt responded...what do I do now?..should I wait a couple days and write again although I dont see why I should or do I just wait it out?..

I'm thinking of just waiting it out,what do you guys think?

 

One way to get a response out of anyone is by asking open ended questions, if she hasn't responded that means that she isn't going to respond at all probably, a lot of people have it so their FB is connected to their mobile devices. It also shows you if the person saw your message, its basically like you said hi to her in the street and she ignored you. Sorry, you should be more aggressive in the future instead of just hoping and dreaming that she will fall into your lap without trying to approach her and get her digits. Now she is always going to think of you as that guy who messaged her. Well at least she decided to add you, don't expect much because it doesn't take much effort to type in a few words behind a computer screen.