This Time Last Year and Xmass

[Dinocaz]

Just noticed the calendar and this week last year it was the beginning of the end. I was in such a dreadfull place then and little did I know that over the next 6 weeks things were going to get worse much worse. My life then was chaos. Emotionally charged - drinking like a maniac - fight after fight - break down on all fronts. Christmas was approaching and I was fOO((*ing dreading it!

 

My Son was due to fly over and he did not have any idea he was flying into the eye of the biggest shiiit storm ever. Toxic on all fronts. The official break up date was still some time off which was Thursday 16th Feb 2012 when I left the house for the very last time. But at this point last year I knew something very very bad was happening around me I just could not see how bad it was going to get.

 

This past year has literally flown by - its almost gone and im looking around wondering how I got to the place I have now. I am so damn glad im away from the emotional train wreck I was back then. Fast track healing and willing myself to cut away from the past has been hard but in many ways rewarding. Its been a very lonely year on many fronts but also I have been forced to live with myself and survive on my own resources. This has been an interesting journey. Im about to move into a new house just before xmass. I will be spending xmas day sat on a box lol with nothing but I do not care. I can not wait for the new year and will probably be high fiving on Jan 2nd as I want to get going with many things. It has been a year of frustrations pain guilt rage and learning. I dont feel raw inside anymore. It has indeed past. I know many of you here are dreading the holidays coming up and counting the days. I was also but now im in the mindset of bring it on. This for me is the final hurdle and one I am going to embrace and prove to myself I can and will survive it. I have no real advise to give on how others will get through this but get through it you will. And for those of you facing the first xmas without the ex , think of it this way it will be the last xmas you go through like this!

 

I failed on many things over the past 18 months or so and beyond and lost everything but If I can come through this then really so can anyone. Ahh dont fear the holidays take it on the chin. Raise a glass of whatever to yourself and try focus on your future. Which is actually waiting for all of us.

 

Onwards )))

[maggieMAE]

YAY! I love success stories. I believe I've read about your story here and there on ENA, and it's good things are looking up.

 

I'm gonna do everything in my power to make this the best Xmas. It was supposed to be our anniversary. I did the mega no-no and started a relationship on Xmas. D'oh! Whatever.

[kate150]

Sounds like things are going really well for you. That's awesome! Its nice to read something positive everyone once in a while.

[Dinocaz]

YAY! I love success stories. I believe I've read about your story here and there on ENA, and it's good things are looking up.

 

I'm gonna do everything in my power to make this the best Xmas. It was supposed to be our anniversary. I did the mega no-no and started a relationship on Xmas. D'oh! Whatever.

 

Hi that is certainly the way to approach the holidays making it the best for YOU. Next time better choose another calendar date to start the relationship

[FreeFallFeelin]

You are The Man Dino! So happy for you my friend. You've come a long way. I hope I find the place you've gotten too, soon, because not being able to let go has just become ridiculous for me.

 

The holidays have certainly stirred things up for me quite a bit too, as this is exactly the time last year my ex was executing her plan to dump me to be with 'him'. I hope they have a terrible holiday, and one that involves a broken heart That would make my holiday glimmer with joy! Just being honest.

[pippy longstocking]

fabulous healing post dino ...and so happy your facing life with this attitude as i know you have gone to hell and

back ...

 

well done to you for your determination x

[soybeans]

Interesting how it seems the time during the holidays is where things started going sour for most of us on here...hmm.

[TalkThatTalk9]

im in same boat as you... in a funny way I am happy to have gone thru the hell last year to appreciate the good this year... nothing can get as bad as what i dealt with this time last year

[Dinocaz]

Ahh FreeFallFeelin the holidays yes they can seem like an impossible hurdle. This is my first xmas without the kids and so on but I have been getting into the mindset for this and how to approach it for a while now. I just actually can not wait ... I suppose for you its about making sure you surround yourself with as much and as many things which have eff all to do with your ex or your past. I do had visions of revenge for the ex (taking a mallet to her head or cooking her in a microwave oven were a few of my night time favs ha ha ha) but no more. I could not care less.

 

You will stride forward to 2013 and I hope brighter days where you too wont give a dammn about the ex or where they are at

 

All the best Dino

 

You are The Man Dino! So happy for you my friend. You've come a long way. I hope I find the place you've gotten too, soon, because not being able to let go has just become ridiculous for me.

 

The holidays have certainly stirred things up for me quite a bit too, as this is exactly the time last year my ex was executing her plan to dump me to be with 'him'. I hope they have a terrible holiday, and one that involves a broken heart That would make my holiday glimmer with joy! Just being honest.