nothingontheinside Posted October 26, 2004 Share Posted October 26, 2004 I'm cold to the touch Fill these hands with crimson lush Scream at me to do it again Once again my body feeds on my own pain Do you see me bleeding? Life has lost all meaning Do you look the way you hate? Do you hate the way you look? Hold onto it forever My straight-edge that I so treasure Stroke it again accross my skin Maybe today I will win Watch my hate run down my arm These cuts I will forever charm Burning heat through cuts of the past Every cut I promise is my last I look ahead and see you there But I don't know when or where Your hands reach up to grasp mine "Forever" you say "till the end of time" Well time must have ended Because none of my wounds have mended And you are no longer in sight Living until tomorrow is my childish fright I pray every night to a God I don't believe in That maybe he exists to heal my sin I pray to never awake for another morning And sometimes I wish my life was boring Because these pains I can't deal with anymore And I see myself lying dead on the floor With my object of choice in my right hand Bleeding out of every hole in attempt to stand Unaccepted in this world My hate, the truth has now been uncurled So why don't you kiss my hatred goodbye As you look up into the sky You can't see me fly away And tomorrow will be a better day I wont be there in your life to screw it up anymore I have now shut and locked life's wooden door COMMENT PLEASE love, ness Link to comment
Silvi Posted October 26, 2004 Share Posted October 26, 2004 wow.....that's amazing! great work! where did you get the idea to do that??? Link to comment
drahcir Posted October 26, 2004 Share Posted October 26, 2004 your poem is really good, but maybe you could write on a more positive topic next time. YOu really have the potential to do something powerful with what you write.........its just that suicide poems aren't too popular.........love / romance poems, esp. when they can be turned into songs..then you can make lots of money and be famous Link to comment
OceanEyes Posted October 26, 2004 Share Posted October 26, 2004 its just that suicide poems aren't too popular.........love / romance poems, esp. when they can be turned into songs..then you can make lots of money and be famous I don't think her intention is to make money or become famous. She is writing straight from the heart, which is incredibly difficult to verbalize sometimes. Your poem was incredibly powerful Ness. Link to comment
nothingontheinside Posted October 26, 2004 Author Share Posted October 26, 2004 drahcir: i write what i think and feel currently love isnt a top feeling though i am very much in love with my own... secksy ecksy as some of you may know her... im not going to write on anything more positive... lol sry Link to comment
behind_these_eyes Posted October 26, 2004 Share Posted October 26, 2004 I thought that poem was incredible. drahcir - lollipops, rainbows and romantic picnics are not all there is in life. I wouldn't try to write about something I don't know about. I doubt many people could successfully. Just some thoughts. Link to comment
nothingontheinside Posted October 29, 2004 Author Share Posted October 29, 2004 thanks... any sugestions? Link to comment
secksy ecksy Posted October 31, 2004 Share Posted October 31, 2004 WOW... that poem is amazing. i love it!!!! you are so talented with words, dearest. i just dont like the picture it paints in my head..very graphic! you rock my panties ~ecksy[/b] Link to comment
MissMandaJo Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 Damn. That was a-freakin-mazing. Link to comment
ForAnother Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 I liked its flow. A lot of the imagery I have heard before so... I painted the same picture I paint with all these kinds of poems. ForAnother Link to comment
drahcir Posted November 11, 2004 Share Posted November 11, 2004 When i read the poem i really thought the author was planning to kill themself, so i only suggested becoming a love writer because it was the only thing i could think of to deter the author from actually killing themself. Preventing suicide was my only intention. I appreciate all types of poems and all types of feelings. But here i just wanted to save the life of the author and thats all. So please don't accused me of being too idealistic..i just wanted to prevent a suicide. "drahcir - lollipops, rainbows and romantic picnics are not all there is in life. I wouldn't try to write about something I don't know about. I doubt many people could successfully. Just some thoughts." Link to comment
troublegal05 Posted November 11, 2004 Share Posted November 11, 2004 Damn u are a REALLY talented writer your poem was very real..you really painted a clear picture with your words I found myself really feeling for the person in the poem...keep up the good work!! Link to comment
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