Second time... In limbo or what?

[Staples 29]

Hi guys,

 

Insight needed here. So I got back together with a guy after he bolted suddenly because we were too attached. One day he was telling me ‘he adored me’ and then he disappointed me by cancelling plans (we’d been planning for a week); I got mad and he was really apologetic and then said he couldn’t be in a relationship. Ended with I love you- hope you meet someone who can fulfill your needs yaddy yaddy wack wack.

 

I did the girl thing, panicked a bit, called and texted severally – was ignored and then we finally got to speaking and things ended. Then 3.5 months later, I get a message and we reconnect with talk of how he’s still in love with me… hasn’t met anyone like me even though he tried and he regretted it everyday etc.

 

I loved him so I decided to give it another shot – heck, we all make mistakes

 

So yea we’ve been working it out. He came back and said we couldn’t have sex just so I didn’t get the impression that was all he wanted (we started out as casual sex partners) and that he wanted to go about it the right way and wanted me to be his girlfriend after taking it slow.

 

Anyway… we were friends on twitter (I so don’t advise this btw) and I saw he’d been flirting with this one girl. I spoke to him about it and he assured me that nothing was going on – it was just banter etc. I left it at that. Then last Wednesday their conversation was way too suggestive and it hinted at spending a weekend together – I know she’s a very suggestive person but really. Fair enough, he did say if I had anything to ask him I should come out with it. Anyway, I was having a horrible day; we’re both stressed atm:

 

Him Found out he has to move to Manchester for work – asked my opinion on taking the job as it would affect our relationship. I said yes – it’s a brilliant opportunity and I am proud of him for it

 

He had money issues which he confided in me (had to borrow some off me – I’m not counting but I’d literally do anything to help). He was trying to sort out his work pay due to being off on sick leave

 

He’s moved back in with his mom to take care of her after she’d been ill and in a coma so was quite stressed.

 

I have been job hunting and really stressed atm as I can’t find one and my current contract ends soon so I might have to move countries plus I was very emotional

 

Anyway.. I started a little rant on twitter and when he asked me what it was about I hinted at his conversation with that girl.

 

That’s where it all went downhill. He was angry; I was angry. He blocked me on twitter and then I texted him saying it’s a shame things had to end this way (partly my own apprehension of how sudden he ended things last time) and that hopefully we’d be able to sort out the money issue amicably.

 

He replied saying of course and thank you but he couldn’t deal with distrust. I then said he should come out straight with it then or better yet act so I can trust him and asked if we could talk on the phone. He replied saying he was tired and had been up with his mom all night and wasn’t willing to talk. I know I should have left it there but then I tried to get a time to talk and then texted again saying we’d both gone about it the wrong way. This all started at 7:30am btw. So ignored after two texts. I can still see his twitter and he mentioned how he was turned off by women who act like they need him (mighty talk coming from someone who came back begging). I hate when men see things like that – I just wanted to get things resolved and kiss and make up. I have NEVER been needy or clingy with him.

 

Anyway.. the next day (Friday) I sent another text apologising for overreacting and explained to him that I was quite emotional with him moving soon and everything going on.

 

I have left it at that and I won’t contact him again but it really does sting to know I went about it the wrong way. I just wish he’d be more forgiving. Because we’ve been broken up before I am handling the pain better (and I will handle the communication better in future – NEVER text when you’re upset).

 

I’m not asking what to do as I know I have done the best I can by apologising and expect him to understand but given what happened with him regretting the past and the stress I just like someone else to weigh in. I think I am also just upset as I really wanted to make the most of the time we have together.

 

I plan on doing my best to move on and I don’t particularly want to be treated this way – I think it is unfair and I already mentioned that to him. I’d just really like to get a chance to get over this and also communicate clearly for once how his actions make me feel.

 

People are so complicated.