A letter to the woman across the hall

[Shipwreck]

Dear roommate,

 

Here I am, sitting no more than 10 feet away from you, but it might as well be 10,000 miles. You'll probably never read this, or even come to know how deeply I have fallen in love with you, but alas that seems to be the fate of romantics the world 'round. No, I have no grand illusions about what might be hidden underneath your confident yet gentle facade. Everyone has their dark side, their mysterious past full of regrets and unrealized dreams. We all have that voice that reminds us that life is hard, that pain is constant, that it is easier to be cynical than hopeful, no matter how hard we try to ignore it. I'm sure that you are well-acquainted with your own doubting, pessimistic self. I'm sure that she manifests herself in the dead of night when feelings of fear and loneliness are at the forefront of your mind, when the world takes on a more sinister demeanor, when hope becomes that which is reserved for the fools of the universe. I have no doubt that you sometimes find yourself identifying with this voice, listening to her every word and pause, rudely ignoring the heroine of optimism as she lies dormant in the darkest recesses of your consciousness, desperately trying to wake herself from a slumber so deep. Of these things I am sure.

 

But I am here, I have always been here, and despite all sh*tty things I do I would like to think that when the chips are down I would always be there to pick you up, dust you off, start again from scratch, over and over again. I know that our lives are swirling maelstroms of chaos, but at the end of the day, despite all evidence which would seem to indicate that romance died long ago, I believe in love. I have to believe in us, even if we never come to fruition. I have borne witness to hopelessness, despair, agony and frustration. With these things I am well acquainted. But I choose you instead. You, who represent all that is good about the female sex, whose laugh lights up my day more than you will probably ever know. You, who takes long showers after jogging and makes legendary cappuccino.

 

You are flawed and human more than I will probably ever know. But I love you. I love every part of you. The you who gets angry when our wireless internet disconnects, the you who laughs at my stupid jokes even though they're not funny, the you who considers me a good friend. And if the only way to show you how deeply I love you is to let you go, then that's what I will do. But I am always here. I have always been here. You make our place our home.

 

-S