Pls help mi. My heart is breaking. I feel like dying

[moonz]

pls help...i feel like dying...

 

I had been together with Fay for almost 3 years. we were friends at first then he came after mi..then we became lovers. we spend almost every weekend together but we tried to keep wkdays to ourselves, i busy with my part-time mba, he wif his basketball training, etc. we were very loving and we even planned our future. early this jan, he told mi he wanna buy a house wif mi! I'm so happy. however due to our financial status, we did not buy one in the end. i was very disappointed. very. i tot it was impt to him too. however, he was not at all bothered. we had a big fight, thinking y he was telling all the lies and leading mi on while he did not wanna buy one at all. however, we managed to sort the things out in the end, or i tot.

we had a fight again in june in regards to the house issue. he told mi he wanna be alone. I cannot understand...so i kept clinging on to him, act as normal but i started to let him go out wif his frens alone more often. he also treat as nothing had happened and we were still ok.

 

on 14th oct, he came to my house, saying he got something to tell mi. i suddenly had a bad omen that he wanna break up coz he hasn't been calling mi the entire day.in the end he really did initate breakup. he told mi he no longer feel any love for mi anymore. I am like a mirror image to him and though he feels comfortable, there is no love to him.

i was so shattered..i felt a knife cutting my heart. I kept asking him, where is my bebe (tat i called him)? how can he feel nothing for mi when he can bring mi out on sunday to rollerblade and play..?!?!? i kept on begging till he said ok...we can still be together when he finally also broke down n cried. but he said how can he faced mi when he already said that he dun love mi anymore. i said i dun care at all...i only wanna be wif him.

i told him i dun believe he dun love mi no more. i believe in our love so much!!!! then he finally agreed and sent mi home.

 

on 15th oct, i called him, we arranged to meet and go to his house for dinner. when i met him, it was so hard. so hard to pretend as if nothing has happened. i was so scared...so while he was taking a nap, i peeped at his hp. i was broken hearted to see that there were some mention of a girl between his sms wif his fren. I broke down and woke him up. i kept toking to him..is there another ger??!?!?! he kept saying no. finally i believed him. after all, he was the one who taught mi to trust again. but he said he wanna think about us again. whether we should go onz. i agreed too saying i dun wanna to force him to do something he dun wanna. then he sent mi home coz i need to go to bali for 3 days for a business trip. he said he will call mi and asked mi to be happy. he will think over the next 3 days when i'm on my trip. he said he will sms mi his ans on the 18th when i'm back.

 

on 16th oct, when i was abt to board my plane, i sms him. he called mi and asked mi to have a safe trip. i was so happy. then din call mi the whole day. i was scared...y? y didn't he called mi? i was very upset. then i sms his fren at ard 8pm and said if breaking up is wat he wan, and he is happy, so be it n i switched my hp off.

 

on 17th oct, i switched my hp on and there was a missed call from him on the 16th at 10pm. i was so happy. but i was worried tat he called to say that he wanna break off..i din dare to call him back.

 

on 18th oct, he din call mi at all. my mum told mi tat she saw him roller-blading alone at a park on sat ard 8pm+. finally i called him at ard 9pm and he said his ans is still no. i has so upset...i kept screaming and begging him. then i asked him to come and find mi. which he did. i asked him y is he so selfish n not care at all? he said he really dun love mi enuff to continue anymore. i kept begging him...begging him...till he said maybe it can be a cool off period for us. we should take time to re-think if we can be together again. he said now we are so close, he wanna take time to see if we r still suitable n if i oso think we can be still together, we can be together again. i see that my begging cannot lead to anywhere so i said ok...then i asked if 2 mths is enuff but he gave mi a very weird look. as if he dun wanna commit at all.

then he was yawning...i can see that he was in bad shape too. not enuff sleep. but he was still firm on his decision. since he din wanna tok any more, he sent mi back home. before he left, i gave him a crystal and a cat fishing figure that i bought in bali. he said i still can call him and sms him..then i called him that nite to see if he had reached home and we said goodnite.

 

on 19th oct, suddenly i knew its so over. i sms him the following msg:

"morning, since u said that we are on cooloff period, we better not contact each other at all. i dun know if u humor mi last nite coz u r guilty or soft hearted but i think u had made up ur mind. however, if ever u realised that u still love mi, pls let mi know. i love u". he replied very much later. "ok, will note ur point. btw, i had put the crystal and the cat on my desk already". i replied "good luck to u".

 

 

it has been 1 week. and i missed him so much, i cried everyday and i can really feel my heart breaking. i wanna die...wat should i do? can i call him? i tried to called him on 21th saying that i wanna my things at his house back on 23th and maybe we should closed our shared bank acct. he said ok but as he will be out of town, he will contact mi again. then he never called at all!!! he only sms mi to say "u outside? i haven pack ur things yet?" in the end, i din reply to his msg. he sound so cold and distant.

 

am i too rush??? i tried to keep up the NC but its so hard. i wanna ask how he is , wat he is doing, is his work ok? i missed him soOoo much..i break down and cry every 2 hours and since the day he said goodbye, i din dare to call him, hoping he can sort his tots out and come back to mi. but i guess he must be feeling relief to get away from mi.

 

in my desperation, i started to read the "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus"...its so true in my case....i kept having the hope that he is just withdrawing into his cave and i dun wanna chase after him...i hope one day he will come back to find mi....but i'm so scared....so scared that he will forget mi...i heard from his frens that he is playing basketball everyday...does he really going to try to forget mi? after 3 years? how can he not give us a chance again...help...some1 pls help...i wanna give him his space but i feel like dying alone here...help..

 

should i call him? there's so much i wanna tell him...i wanna let him know that i finally understand his reason for being alone and i will not freak out again..but does he still care? it really hurt when he said he dun love mi anymore. if he dun care, y did he said we can be togther still? if he care, y din he call mi at all? i dun dare to go and pick up my stuff, so afraid to end all our chances...can any1 pls tell mi wat to do?

[winkybear]

hi,

sry to hear abt this. My advice to u is to jsut give it up, if he has no feelings for u anymore, there isnt much u can do.. The sooner u give up on this, the sooner u can move on. I know its hard, but its something u just have to do to get on with life.

 

Right now , im still not over my ex yet, i still feel down. But if i didnt let go of her, i wouldnt be in such a good condition like how im in now. Yea, 3 yrs is long... but i suppose u should just move on. All the begging , calling, seeing him. It hurts u . You should just do something for yourself to make yourself feel better now. Try doing the NC, it does work. Its hard in the beginning (for everyone), it'll get easier along the way . Just dont give up good luck.

[shyanne]

when you love someone set them free. if it was meant to be they will return.

[moonz]

i love him so much

more than anything in the world....y?? y it has to end this way?

i know he loves mi still...i only want him...pls...some1 pls tell mi wat to do..

[suzi]

Moonz.....I really feel your pain....I have been going thro a bad time in a 4 year relationship....the last year has been awful....and believe me you have got to be strong or you will loose him forever.

Give him time if that is what he asks you for....leave him be, dont contact him...it's very very hard to do this but you have to....if you contact him and he finds you annoying at the moment because of whatever reason it may be,you will push him further away but if you give him time alone with no contact from you he'll start to miss you and be wondering what your doing.He's proberbly expecting you to contact him so if you dont it will surprise him, you wont loose him if the love is strong nuff but whatever is to be will be and you cant change it by begging him to stay.

Give him a few months with no contact from you...it will be very hard to do...but its the only way.

I felt as desperate as you are feeling now, not knowing which way to turn and the pain is like nothing on earth....but get busy with your own life, friends whatever it takes to help take your mind off the pain and you will be able to cope with the situation better, a few months may feel like years but it is only a short time to sacrifice apart to build the rest of your life together.

I hope these words help you and I wish you all the luck you need to cope with this and things work out for you.

One love.......suzi.

[annie24]

My heart broke when I read your post. I'm so sorry! I agree with the other replies. I guess, all you can do at this point is to give him his space. It sounds like he's made up his mind. You should try to get your mind off of things, as hard as it may be. Take a yoga class, take an art class, go jogging, volunteer at an animal shelter, go to every social event you can! Show up, look nice, maybe another gentleman will see you and ask you out. Good luck!