Best Friend Love

[RealCity19]

To paraphrase a long story. My best friend and I realized that we both loved each other at different times. She loved me first but I was seeing someone, when our friendship started taking a hit, I realized I was struggling in life without her and her the same, but she also started seeing someone else. We were not in committed relationships yet but I finally realized I loved her right back. We were inseparable and for the first time life without her seemed impossible. We have both admitted we feel like we are soulmates and we love each other.

 

Well we have all of the same mutual friends and they said the same thing. They have all said they believe we are meant for each other, and if it is meant to be it will be. Well now we are both in committed relationships and have lost one another. Finally, I told her I loved her still and wanted to marry her. When I told her that she blushed and with a sad face said "I can't give you what you want right now."

 

Well a couple of weekends ago she drunk texted me at 1:00AM just wondering what I was doing. I responded and we had a brief chat but she eventually stopped responding. The next night we ran into each other at a bar. We hugged, she complimented me on what I was wearing and and then I went on with my business. We were at the bar with mutual friends so they talked and my girlfriend and I talked with a different group. The whole time however she was in my view and could not stop staring at me. She continually tapped me on my shoulder to say this or that. Typically it was useless just to get my attention but she did it several times. Finally me and her started talking a little bit. To be honest I can't remember most of it as it was a full day of drinking but I finally worked up the courage to say "You know I am going to marry you one day right?" She didn't say anything, she just blushed, got a bit sad again and we went back to our separate groups. We texted a bit that night and she said I like seeing you. I miss my best friend. I told her best friends are meant for each other and that she was mine. She did not respond.

 

The following Monday, I sent her an email with a link to something that concerned the two of us. She said thanks for sending it and something brief on the topic. So I decided to call her that night. She did not answer which was fine but she texted and said she could not talk right then. I said it was fine to just call me when she got a chance. She was clearly with her boyfriend. Well it has been a week and she has not called back. I told one of our close friends about this and she said she knows deep down she still loves me but does not have the courage to break up with her boyfriend. Which every time I tell her I love her she goes to FB to tell about how great things are with her boyfriend.

 

This has been going on for about 10 months now. I am terrified to leave her alone because I love her so much and over 7.5 years we have been best friends. We are in our late 20s now and I would do anything to be with her. Does anyone have any advice on how to go about this? Should I tell her good bye for good or wait around and act like I don't care she is dating him(which I do)? Either way she has never given me a stern answer of I don't want to be with you. She sends mixed signals and leaves everything open ended which makes the decision that much harder. Thanks in advance for the advice.

[pl3asehelp]

Ask your girlfriend what you should do. You don't keep secrets from each other, right?

[kate150]

I admit I am confused. You have a girlfriend but you are in love with your best friend and keep telling said best friend that you want to marry her? Is that correct???

 

If so, no wonder your best friend is not dropping everything with her boyfriend to run off into the sunset with you. You are sending mixed signals as well!!!! If you are serious about marrying your best friend then dump the girlfriend and do everything you can to properly woo your best friend. Seriously woo her. Don't just assume that because you dump your girlfriend that your best friend will do the same. How is your best friend supposed to know you are serious if your actions don't match your words!?!?!?!?!?