iamkaylee Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 Ishan you are not thinking very clearly on this. If you told your parents what you have told us here, they would not tell you to go throw yourself from a bridge. Your parents would much rather have a son who works for a company than have no son at all. Link to comment
Ishan Posted October 16, 2012 Author Share Posted October 16, 2012 Thank you i will try this exercise. No one would be at my funeral i am all alone. Everyone will look happy and they will feel very lucky. People will congratulate them. They will say that what a mad person i was. Yes you are right they will say both. I cant dream because my no dream can be real they. I have to sacrifice all my dreams. You cant even imagine how badly it hurts me. It hurts a lot when i sacrifice my dreams for my parents. It hurts a lot when they shout at me. Link to comment
Ishan Posted October 16, 2012 Author Share Posted October 16, 2012 I have watched this movie many times and i love this film because it is related to my life also. Link to comment
Ishan Posted October 16, 2012 Author Share Posted October 16, 2012 I dont want to hurt them. If i will tell them all this they will become sad. And i dont want that. In India children have no authority to speak against there parents. I have always tried to make them happy but i have always failed but now there is a chance to make them happy and i will not leave this chance. They would defiantly say that I should throw myself from a bridge. I dont have any other choice Link to comment
vesper Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 Can you contact your nearest hospital ASAP ? Link to comment
Ishan Posted October 16, 2012 Author Share Posted October 16, 2012 My family makes me so angry and torcher me so much that i prefer to die rather to live. When i am angry i can cool down my anger. So when i am angry i hurt myself as badly as i can do. I hit my hand very powerfully on the wall which hurts a lot. My hand becomes damn red due to pain. Link to comment
iamkaylee Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 Ishan there is always a choice. Your parents may be sad and disappointed that you do not wish to be a lawyer but the alternative is even worse. I know the culture there in India is much different from here in America but even so, there is room for negotiation and compromise everywhere. I know you feel the way you do about this but I do wish you would try to speak to them about it all. Perhaps only your mother, or choose a time when they are not shouting at you. Let them know how you feel and ask them to please reconsider. Do this thing please. Link to comment
nbr Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 Ishan, I work with many Indians at my office. Yes the culture is controlling. One of the ladies there was lamenting how she wants to be a career woman, but her (and her husband's) parents expect grandchildren. She is not sure if she is going to have children, but she feels the pressure. I completely understand how you feel. If I may I would like to ask you a very personal question, is your family middle class or upper class? I think your parents are trying to make you fit into a more upper class life, something they may feel they failed to achieve. If this is so, are there any other professions you would prefer that may still fit this world-view they have? Technology? Medicine? Theology? Investment broker? Even in the legal profession there is lots of different stuff: Patent law Personal injury law tort law government law commercial law I would not think of myself as that good of a general lawyer, but maybe if I was working in the legal field helping people that were wronged but couldn't help themselves I would be ok with/at it. You are a young man, and you have many options that you just can't see right now. My brother broke his hand punching a wall once... He thought it was a normal plaster on wood wall, but it was actually cement with texture sprayed on it. Ouch. I'm very glad you keep coming here to talk to us. I am happy for that, and you are the one giving that happiness. -nbr Link to comment
Ishan Posted October 18, 2012 Author Share Posted October 18, 2012 Yes i know they will become sad thats why i dont want to tell them. India's culture is the worst culture in the world. If i try to speak to them they will first scold me and then they will start beating me very badly. They are always angry on me all the time. So there is no good time. I cant do this because i am totally very badly broken and if say anything more than it may result in a very bad thing. I am always crying sitting alone in my room and crying a lot. I cant tell them Link to comment
Ishan Posted October 18, 2012 Author Share Posted October 18, 2012 A women's life in India is like hell. A women always have to compromise. Small girl children are also killed at many places only because they are female. After marriage there life's become more hell because they have to sacrifice all there dreams for her husband. Women's in India are beaten also at many places. I hate the people who dont care about women. If i stay alive till my marriage i would not force my wife to be a housewife rather i will motivate her to full fill her dreams. I would give my wife full freedom to live as she wish. That case and my case are totally different. My family is almost upper class. I know that they may want that i should be a good lawyer and then be a judge but if i am not interested in law and i cant understand law then how can i do law. I would prefer to do a profession which is related to technology. I know they are various choices in law too but i am not at all interested in law not a single bit not 1% too. I dont have any options at all. I also want something bad should happen to me. I always hit my hand on wall very badly it goes red in one punch only and i hit atleast 10-30 punches regular. but i dont care if it pains because this pain is less than the pain in my heart. I dont think that i can come here to talk to you for a longer time because this is my last year i would try to die in this year only. I cant control myself i cant bare any shout from my parents now because now i am not able to control myself and then surely something bad can happen. For whom should i live???????????????. For me, No i cant live for myself because the ishan which used to live for him self has died 2 years ago and this ishan is living only for others but now it is time to end this ishan also. I cant bare any pain know my heart has broken into 10000000000000000........... pieces. I have no choice at all. Link to comment
iamkaylee Posted October 18, 2012 Share Posted October 18, 2012 Ishan do you have a friend there or another relative you could go stay with for a time? How much longer do you have before you are supposed to go away and study law? Link to comment
Ishan Posted October 18, 2012 Author Share Posted October 18, 2012 No i have no one to whom i can stay with. 1 year is there i suppose Link to comment
nbr Posted October 18, 2012 Share Posted October 18, 2012 How old are you Ishan? Could you go to school away from home? Take the technology classes you want to take? I think you would make a very fine husband with your views about how you would treat a wife. You will be happy with her, because you will encourage her, and as a result she will love you so much more. -nbr Link to comment
iamkaylee Posted October 19, 2012 Share Posted October 19, 2012 Don't give up Ishan, keep coming here and talking to us. Link to comment
Ishan Posted October 19, 2012 Author Share Posted October 19, 2012 I am 17 years old. My school is very near to my house. No one would allow me to take technology classes. Thank you for the compliment. I think i can be a good husband if i stay alive. I have to give up i cant take it any more. Link to comment
nbr Posted October 19, 2012 Share Posted October 19, 2012 It seems so long ago now, but I remember when I was your age Ishan, it was very hard for me. I felt like the world didn't care about me. (I was actually a bit younger, about 14). I wanted to go away too. 17 is an age where you have little control, but you are aware of it. What is the age of majority in India? In the States it is 18, at that age you can move out and do whatever you want. If it is the same in India then you are very close to being free of your parents choices and you may pursue your own desires. -nbr Link to comment
Ishan Posted October 20, 2012 Author Share Posted October 20, 2012 Yes the age is 18 Oooo sorry my age is 16 i wrote wrong first. If i leave my parents then all people will blame my parents and me that i dont want that anyone should not blame my parents. And if i go against my parents decision then people will blame me that i am not a good son. If i die everything would be good noone will say nothing. Now i think the time has arrived to end this life forever. Can anyone tell how can i get cancer or any other dangerous disease which can help me to end my life. Please help me to die. I cant control myself now Link to comment
Ishan Posted October 20, 2012 Author Share Posted October 20, 2012 R You must be knowing that what is a JOKER. I am also like a joker in this world who wants that people should remain happy so try keep them happy but no one knows that in what condition this joker is. This joker looks happy and entertaine others but from inside this joker is broken this joker is dead from inside. All he has is sadness and sadness nothing else. I am like a tissue paper every one use me and then just flush it out no one sees that how this tissue paper is getting hurt. I am loser a big loser who wants that every one should be happy but no one care about this loser. No one cared about me . I am not important for anyone. A loser, tissue paper cant be important for anyone. I cry who cares. I only have two things to do from start of the day till the end of the day thats is to entertaine others and cry all day sitting alone.You guys want to laugh at my situation you can laugh you are free to laugh.You guys must be thinking that what a drama i am doing but i tell you that this is not a drama its real. Link to comment
Ishan Posted October 20, 2012 Author Share Posted October 20, 2012 And all this is not fake it is real and it is very serious for me. Link to comment
vesper Posted October 20, 2012 Share Posted October 20, 2012 You are just going to have to go out and make some +friends, do something meaningful like get a job, or turn to religion and try to find meaning in your life. Hang in there, its time to be strong now. Is there anyone in your community that you feel close to that you can talk to ?________________________________________________ Link to comment
rainbowjxx Posted October 20, 2012 Share Posted October 20, 2012 Hey, don't do it, I don't even know u, n I am sayin this. That just proves there r people who care about u. Anyway, I would suggest if ur havin problems at home, then why don't u move out, n start a fresh- a new life. U could go to ur council n c about a temporary accommodation. Or, you can get a job n which will help to pay for your rent. That way u won't b livin with people who u don't like? You might also consider a suicide help line number, though if u don't feel right, then do not give them any personal info, ur name, where u live etc. Just by having someone talk n actually listen to you might make u feel a bit better. Also, why don't u try a group for people considering this, as this is a great chance to meet someone who cares n who will b a great friend to u, who is also experiencin some difficulties. Having a chance to make a new friend may also help just by spending time doing something u both enjoy. Also, u should take ur mind of things by doing an activity that u really like. Or, maybe go shopping to buy yourself a whole new outfit to mark the beginning of this new life. Remember think positive. Link to comment
iamkaylee Posted October 20, 2012 Share Posted October 20, 2012 Ishan, we care. No one is laughing, we are trying to help you. Would it be possible for you to get a job? Would your parents allow this? Link to comment
Ishan Posted October 22, 2012 Author Share Posted October 22, 2012 No there is no one that close to whom i can talk to. The ones I had first i have lost them and now the ones who are there cant speak at all. Link to comment
Ishan Posted October 22, 2012 Author Share Posted October 22, 2012 But you people dont know that how much i am hurt from inside. If I go outside then there will be many problems and i cant do job till I am 18. I also dont want to live with them but i am forced to live with them. I dont have any suicide help line number. I dont want to talk to anyone. I hate shopping. I cant think positive my whole life is negative so how can i think positive. Link to comment
Ishan Posted October 22, 2012 Author Share Posted October 22, 2012 I cant get a job till i am 18 and they will not allow me. Link to comment
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