help me decide on a drastic move i made recently..

[ChellyV]

a friend offered me a job in another city, and i tried for 2 months. in those 2 months, it was pure exhaustion, bordering to slavery. he addressed me in a manner that i find offensive, and i was so unhappy. add to that, the relocation depression really knocked me hard. i was too exhausted to socialize and not to mention, time and money underresourced (due to moving expenses).

 

on friday he questioned my whereabouts when i went to a job site, of which he was aware of early in the morning. 9 missed calls total. as i was unable to answer for some reason (i believe i left my purse in the car or something...) i snapped, packed and left. i just left him a letter saying that was it. i never talked to him about my problems with him, trying to salvage our so-called friendship. but apparently, richness and glory has gotten him a bit twisted, as i witnessed how he treated some of his employees.

 

i want to be able to get my last check et al but am not prepared to speak to him right now. he disrespected me in a lot of ways and im afraid there might be things i would say in anger. how do i approach this?

[MasterPo]

You could say, "Thank you for helping me out, you are a good friend (bite your lip) but I got to go my own way now. Thank you so much...bye"(exit quickly and get on with your life).

 

No sense in worrying about him, you are free to do whatever. Oh yes, get that check.

[abitbroken]

I honestly would have taken a deep breath and given a proper 2 week notice. You took the job with no guarantee that you would make friends, find the perfect apartment or the difficulty level of the job. I think that you confused his duty as a friend vs an employer. If he spoke in a manner you found offensive, you should have told him so.

 

I think had you gone to your friend and said the job wasn't what you expected and that you wanted to find a way to work it out or thought it was best to leave, I think the relationship could have been salvaged, but leaving in a huff is both unprofessional and really burns a bridge. I think you expected things to be perfect since he was a buddy, and wasn't it. It is possible he wasn't aware of any problems until he read the letter if you had never raised any concerns and just let it bubble and boil.

 

I think that you should leave a forwarding address with the company to get your check - or just stay in the mode that you don't want to talk to him - and don't. Did you ever have a relationship with anyone in another department that was in charge of checks? Not to call and gossip, but to make arrangements - that is if you are entitled to any money.

[ChellyV]

Yes, you are absolutely right. I am an adult, and I should have known better. I let some kind of deep resentment boil that day and snapped. I sincerely do not mean to put him in a place where he will be lost in his operations. I did try to open up to him about some issues about work that I have been coming accross to, and was told I was demanding. A meeting is even impossible to do, as I have attempted to meet with him so many times, weeks in advance scheduled, he is always a no show. Not trying to justify my actions, but he engaged himself in morally wrong activities in terms of selling and gaining. Something I do not wish to mention to him as it will put my own life in jeopardy...that is another story.

 

He is the only one in charge of checks. I would be kissing it goodbye for now, it being the repercussion of my sudden disappearance. I was just hoping to get hard earned blood and sweat money. Literally.

[camus154]

This all sounds very dramatic.

 

Pick up the phone, call him, explain that you snapped and just couldn't take it, and then give him your address so you can get the paycheck you're legally entitled to.

[ChellyV]

This all sounds very dramatic.

 

Pick up the phone, call him, explain that you snapped and just couldn't take it, and then give him your address so you can get the paycheck you're legally entitled to.

 

True, LOL. I will certainly do that.

[abitbroken]

If he was involved in illegal activities (truly illegal and not just "maybe that's not the best way to run things") why do you even care to have him as a friend?

[LightAndDark]

Just ask for your check, if your so called friend asks why you left just say "just give me my check!" But that's me. I find joy in doing that to those who have done harm to me.

[nbr]

As a manager, only once have I been in a position of needing to give a check on demand like that.

I simply paid out of the till and notified the home office of the $$ amount so they could file it properly on the W2 tax forms.

 

I had employees that I was friends with outside work, but at work it was a different relationship. I found it too hard for me to do that, so I quit managing (and that job all together).