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Love doesn't solve it all?


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I'm sorry for the depressing tone for this thread...


I don't really know how to say it...But based on your experience, for those who have been truly in love or are deeply in love with someone right now, what do you do or how do you deal with your relationship when things just don't seem to want to come out right?



I am asking this because I see everything always has a conflict and maybe I am supposed to overcome them somehow, but it is so frustrating because I feel like when I have just jumped over a hurdle, I have to leap and go higher for the next one -- a tough problem, a much more complicated situation.


And all my life, love has been one thing I never doubted because I have always believed love is powerful and that if you love enough you can overcome anything...Right?



But reality isn't always like that. When I was little, I was a boy-crazy girl. I had a small girl crush on my aunt's boyfriend (at the time) when I was four, before I really knew anything. I had many guys interested in me when I entered school, but while I was boy-crazy I was also picky in who I liked. It's like there were always certain traits I looked for in guys. I guess because perfect marriage wasn't something I saw between my parents because my father broke my mother's heart badly. I made up my mind at a young age that I would find a good man who I'd be able to trust and love completely and he'd do the same with me.


Then I met my boyfriend and we were friends before this. Known him since back in high school. STarted dating first year of college after I made us wait an entire year before entering the relationship. I was cautious eventhough at that time I trusted him. Simple and short, he is the guy I've been looking for and no matter what others may think that I am still "young" (early twenty's) I know I've found the person I would like to spend the rest of my life with. Period.


The only thing is we have conflicts...not because we cheat (we don't), we love each other deeply but we have circumstances in our lives that require us to stay where we are. He gets me, I get him, he knows me really well and I know him really well, we are open about anything and everything. It's like someone who I'm not afraid to be "me" with and he's not afraid to be him with me. You get the picture.



But I feel like because of our circumstances we have to make sacrifices. And this current one involves moving...a far move and we agreed he would be the one moving. But a family issue just came up and I think he's putting all the responsibilities upon himself because there's frankly no one else who could really do it and he's one of the older siblings of a big family. I don't blame him because it's not his fault things are turning out the way they are, but at the same time I don't know what will be of our relationship, despite the love we have for each other. I can't picture myself happy there, it's surely not a place I'd like to stay for the rest of my life and I always have my mother and brother to look after. And will he.



So what is compromise and making sacrifices? What are they supposed to mean? What about responsibilities to family? What about pursuing own happiness?



I don't see myself falling for another guy the way I do with him or ever love this way again, as "young" as some might say so. I just will not feel the same way, like a part of me would die with it, and that might sound a bit too dramatic, but you get what I mean?

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Unfortunately, no, love does not conquer all. I used to believe that too. Not anymore. Compatibility, compromise and the ability to want to work with each other, the tools to work with each other and then love are far more successful.

My parents loved each other death. To this day my mother says he was the love of her life even though she has been married 2 other times. My dad was too mentally ill and unprepared for life to participate in marriage or a relationship.


So no, I do not believe love overcomes all.

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