How does one approach dating when they've never been on a date?

[Klokwurk]

This guy is very wise, read his advice, Cadmiumblue.

 

Id also like to add, force yourself into social situations. Talk to guys, they probably would really like a pretty girl talking to them!

[mfan]

How does one approach dating when they've never been on a date?

This is no different from learning to play the piano or learning a new language or getting a masters degree in a new subject starting when you are 28. The answer is simple: LEARN everything you can about the topic. DELVE into books, online forums, online dating (several sites), speed dating (if you can afford the cost of it) - basically IMMERSE yourself in dating culture, until finally it works out. It will probably take several years to get good at it, just like it would take several years to learn a new language or a musical instrument. But it's not some impossible thing that is unlearnable. Dating/relationships are just another area to grow in. You grow by making mistakes and learning from them; by being embarrassed and living through it, by writing down everything that happens and studying that to learn the best things to say to people and the best times to say it. By writing down what things made you feel comfortable and what things did not. There are thousands of things to learn - almost too many to count, just like all the words in a new language. But start right now and you'll be ahead of the people who still haven't made the commitment.

 

In short, it's work. Simple as that. Work hard and you'll have your happy relationship by your early 30's.

[Fudgie]

Have you ever caught a movie or got an ice cream with a woman "as friends" = either talking about a class project with a female classmate lab partner at college over a coffee that was not a "date" (even if she was 20 years older than you and married). If you have, then you are 70% of the way experienced in going on a date. A first date is like meeting a friend for coffee or lunch or dinner to see if you have things in common or if there is interest. It doesn't have to involve flowers or romance. If you are fine talking one on one with someone, you will do just fine. Most women who don't know anything about you rather have you not make a pass with them and rather have you just get to know them the first few dates anyway.

 

This is great advice and I think you should follow it. A lot of dates are just going out and getting to know someone through talking, talking about each other's lives and activities.

[cadmiumblue]

I wish I was one of those people who never had to date and relationships just happened.

[Klokwurk]

I wish I was one of those people who never had to work and childhood poverty just ended.

[Iloveshyguys]

Can someone give me advice, please? That's why I started this thread.

 

You could try online dating. There are some free sites, and even the pay sites are free to browse. Just search the guys close to where you live, and see if you're interested in anyone. You can also put up a profile, and believe me--you will get LOTS of messages. Then you can email back and forth or talk on the phone for awhile, until you're comfortable enough to want to meet.

 

Maybe you'd like speed dating, too.

 

You also could join some groups or clubs, and maybe meet guys that way ...

 

I understand your feelings about dating, though. I also find it strange. I prefer to get to know people over time, if it's possible.

[somethngwrng]

I'm 28 and have never been on a date and am completely inexperienced in every way.

 

How would someone start dating at an age where most people are either married or have a long dating history? Am I just doomed? DO people ever start dating that late, or is it just pointless?

EDIT: sorry, I assumed you were a guy but just change all the "woman" mentions into "man"

 

I got my first real girlfriend at 27 after I actually went out and put effort into finding one. I used online dating because frankly I'm too shy to straight up ask girls to go out with me, unless I know them pretty well already and by then it's usually "friend zone" stuff (I hate that term).

 

Go on a dating site and find girls you think you might ACTUALLY be compatible with. Do not lie about anything, don't lie to yourself - if a relationship starts blossoming with someone you want them to have a good idea who you really are. Message lots of girls. Don't fluff around emailing for weeks, just ask them out for a drink after 5 or so messages. If you message 5 girls a night and 2 of them respond, but only 1 of them keeps the convo running - you have 1 potential date right there.

 

"Don't put all your eggs in one basket" - When you get home from your first date, get back on the dating site and message more women. The chance of the date with the first woman going ANYWHERE serious is stupidly low and if you waste all your time chasing just 1 random woman who's graced you with her presence on a date, you're going to end up frustrated.

 

"NEXT" - if a woman seems difficult to keep conversation going with, if a woman doesn't reply to some of your messages... even if she just never seems to contact you - she's most likely not interested. Do not get hung up on these women and waste your time. Just start talking to the next one.

 

With a bit of practice and pesistence you'll find yourself inundated with dates. Stick it out and find a girl you really like, who really likes you. Lots of women will just straight up ignore you. Lots of first dates will not translate into a second. But you'll be getting closer to finding the one that does work.

 

Start now.