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Does anybody have a clue why we are still hurt over bad people?


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As I sit by myself in my lonely apt that is located on the cheapest, most boring campus in America, I can't help but ask myself, "Why are you so bent out of shape over this skank?" She's been screwing with your head since April, you weren't happy with her, you think she cheated on you and got pregnant by someone else (yes, this is a new one) and no matter how much she screamed that she was a "great person" and a "faithful" girlfriend, you thought the total opposite. AND she started screwing someone else IMMEDIATELY after the break up.

 

Since I know a lot of you know my story and can fully relate, I'm going to keep it real. I can keep it real, right? Anyway, with all of this down time i have in good ol' country Oklahoma, I came up with reasons as to why I became attached to my ex. For one, I was NEVER one to get into a long term relationship, so when we started "talking" back in April/May of 2011 it was a different experience. We would talk for hours by the ocean, drink, have sex and just have great times together. It wasn't that I truly liked her, it was the volume of sex that I was getting that took over my mind. I put up with alot because the sex was good and I was getting plenty of it. I knew in my heart that the relationship would end the way it did. Even though he is only 2 years younger than me, our maturity levels are different and she wasn't used to being in a mature relationship with a faithful, caring person.

 

Looking back, I don't think I loved her. It was pure infatuation. The only thing that bothers me is that I'm still very hurt about how everything went down. She had no respect for me and made up silly excuses as to why we couldn't be together each time we broke up. I called her a "B" three times, but trust me it was for very good reasons. Folks, this girl isnt all that great looking, she's mean, very selfish and very young minded. How could i still be bothered? Why do we as human beings allow ourselves to be hurt by people who weren't good to us and never truly made us happy?

 

Honestly, I think my location is what's hindering my healing because when I was back in Jersey I was healing fine. The fact that there's nothing out here makes it hard to let things go and not think about the past. I feel like I'm doing a jail bid and I'm not coming home until December 13th. Pray for me!!!!

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I feel ya man. I just got out of a relationship with a girl that treated me like crap, and is just a bad person. For me, the hardest part is getting over the person I thought she was, not the person she turned out to be. She sold it to me, but I still bought it. That's the toughest part for me, getting over a girl I loved, who never even really existed. For me too, this was my first serious relationship. I think that's a part I miss greatly too, just having that connection and closeness with someone. What keeps me going is I know I'll have that again, and with someone better.

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Only my last relationship haunts me like this. I think it's because I got sold "a bill of goods". It's like a con. Baggagereclaim.co.uk calls it "future faking".

 

She came along and seemed to give you what you want or was missing (in your case the sex) and you get so caught up you aren't paying attention to the signs. But it's intentional. The point is to distract you - either because this person doesn't want you to see their flaws, or their intentions, or that they control the relationship.

 

You're stuck because you don't how you fell for it, whether any of it was real, how you missed the signs, were there signs?, or if there were signs why you didn't pay enough attention.

 

The second reason is because relationships cause us to develop attachments to the person. If it had been a job, you might be shocked but you move on, you accept it, you say screw them and don't take it personally but relationships suck you in and the rejection feels like a rejection of you, you can't help but take it personally.

 

But it was a con. And while everyone's not a conman or woman, it's a con-rich environment.

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I think it comes down to ego. Rejection IS a tough pill to swallow. I have learned though..that the minute my heart and mind is interested in someone else, it truly fades into the background. Even if it's just temporary it helps. Basically it comes down to distracting yourself ....and disengaging yourself, and your ego long enough to know there ARE other people in the world who think that you are awesome and amazing.

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I think it comes down to ego. Rejection IS a tough pill to swallow. I have learned though..that the minute my heart and mind is interested in someone else, it truly fades into the background. Even if it's just temporary it helps. Basically it comes down to distracting yourself ....and disengaging yourself, and your ego long enough to know there ARE other people in the world who think that you are awesome and amazing.

 

I get that fully. All i need is a nice young lady to take my mind off of it, but i go to a school where there is 4 guys for every one girl. And if the girl isnt a complete ****, she has a bf or is racist .. Im quite sure if i was home Id be fine, but im just gonna have to tough this one out until December. Its my last sad semestrr here.

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For me,

 

I'm just confused. I mean I felt like I had a really good grasp as far as who this girl was. I still wouldn't go as far as to say that she's a bad person. I don't believe it. I just believe she's got some real serious issues that she needs to work out. It bothers me because I really did like her and felt like I could see us going a long ways. So if anything I'm just really disappointed that this didn't happen and we ended up separating. I know it was the right thing to do. But sometimes I find myself going back and forth between maybe I should've stayed on longer and maybe I should have given things a chance. In the end, I think it was the right thing to do. More than anything, I'm still disappointed and back to feeling that love is hopeless on the subject of me, True Crime.

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