Who would you blame?

[Fancy111]

I have been friends with this girl since 9th grade and we have had our share of big arguments, but let me ask you if this one takes the cake. During an argument almost a year ago about her flirting with another friends husband that was brought into question by the wife, knowing the guy I sort of sided with her because he did flirt back and he is a bit of a flirt, but then when she felt attacked she lashed out and said that years prior my husband flirted with her.

I was shocked of course because in all my years of friendship, my husband has never went there with her, flirted that I saw, made any comments, or any other person I know, so of course I told her she wished and why not have told me when it happened or at least have better proof that it was deliberate! By the way it's important to mention she is single and hasn't had any long lasting boyfriends, and has been known to flirt with other friends men and I have had several inapproriate run in's with her checking him out or saying lude comments, but of course they don't know about it.

Would you believe it? Due to the fact that her MO speaks for it self and she's admittedly not loyal to other friends and the boundaries they set. I can count at least four other girlfriends she has actually done this too, but actually to a larger degree with there boyfriends.

By the way, my husband denies it, and was shocked and upset and also confronted her with these allegations. Recently after asking for forgiveness I began speaking to her again, but during an argument she brought it up recently, after last week telling me he looks good and I better watch out for him. Is this the end of our friendship or what? Would you ever bother speaking to this friend again?

[AngelOfDarknes]

omg what kinda friend is she if she dosent respect you even i would totally get this over with i dont want a friend who causes problems...you cant even trust her ....thats horrible

[ruth1978]

she's lying, she's jealous of what you have, a husband. she's single so she's bitter about everyone else being with someone apart from her.

i don't think you should have anything to do with her because she's never going to let it drop and i think she's wanting you and your husband to fall out over this and i think it will head that way should she be allowed to carry on.

no matter how long you've known her, a true friend wouldn't do this to you and she's no true friend to anyone she knows.

she's out for herself and isn't thinking about anyone else she's hurting in the process.

if my friend's husband flirted with me i'd tell my friend on that day right away if i was concerned about it.

you said she's a flirt and always flirts around other friends boyfriends, so this should tell you she's lying about your husband flirting around her. she loves the attention and to me she sounds like she's mortified she's not got a man so she's after other people's men because she can't find one of her own.

being friends with her still could cause damage to your relationship with your husband, you'll end up not trusting him and it could end up at worst with you two breaking up.

the choice you have to make is who is more important, your husband or your friend because i really can't see it working with you having the both of them in your life, you have to make a choice i think.

i could be totally wrong here by saying all this but from reading what you put i really do think she's lying.

she wants you to be so paranoid about him that you leave him, she's either jealous you have someone who loves you or she wants you all to herself, when we meet someone special sometimes we don't see our friends as often and they can get jealous about this feeling neglected by their friends and wanting it back to how it used to be.

[Mun]

Hi there,

Don't trust your friend. If you have already seen her do this before then that is all you need to know what she is capable of.

 

I think women who do this are jealous and feel " why should she have it all?" they feel that THEY are the only ones entitled to happiness. I think it has more to do with competing with other women than it is about the man...but you should be careful anyway.

[Fancy111]

Muneca and AngelofD are right, I feel as though the trust is gone with her and I don't know where to go from here. Like Ruth said she could just be trying to cause problems between my husband and I. I don't think I even want to mention it to him this time or not, I don't want him to think I don't trust him, because I do. It's just really sad to loose a "friend" at my age where it's not likely that they are easy to come by, I only have two other people I would consider long-term friends. But I know that it was really difficult for my husband to be around her after the first time he confronted her when I did forgive her, so now it will be next to impossible for him. Other people have said they think she wants me for herself, but I think deep down she just isn't out for my better interest at all.

I'm so tired of inconsiderate people, especially supposed best friends.

 

thanks for your support