What do I do from here? Hurt and feeling stupid. Please talk to me!

[TopFive]

Yesterday, I took it upon myself to look for closure about my breakup that happened 2 months ago. I left my ex a nice voicemail and I talked to her new lover on twitter (stupid, I know). The new guy, who i think had been in the picture before the breakup, told me that they "mess around" and i should tell him anything that i think he should know about my ex. I just told him that i just needed to know about them so i could move on.

 

Later last night, there was some more drama on twitter and my ex texted me saying to never in my life contact her again and I'm she's none of her business. She took a screen shot from her iphone of her repeating what she said to a friend of hers and her friend called me a psycho and told me to get a life. On top of that, one of her male friends was tweeting about me and retweeting my tweets so that she could see.

 

I know I had it coming, but these people don't know the hurt that I'm going through. I'm doing everything you people have been telling me. Lose weight, go to class, write, hang out with friends. I'm still soo lonely and she has FULLY moved on and showed that she doesn't care about me. I'm ready to move on, but i'm so hurt. I'm gettin ready to shed a tear as i write. I'm so hurt I emailed my professors and told them that I am sick today. I don't want to do anything! I just want to send her a mean text message instead of the cool response that i gave her last night.

 

OMG, i new i should have stayed single. I was single for four years because of things like this. God help me!

[FrenchFries]

It was a hard lesson learned, to just leave things be when a relationship is over. This little moment will pass before you know it and you'll be back to normal life. Try to get up and get outside today! I think I read you are on a football team? Do you have teammates you can hang out with? Either way, just let it go. Drop out of sight for awhile. It'll pass. Oh, and don't respond to the ex. Just disappear.

[Heartbroken17]

All you can do is chalk it up to experience and learn from it. And I agree with FrenchFries - disappear for a while and focus on yourself, deactivate twitter, FB, any other social media, at least to remove temptation for a while!

[Liraele]

Going out of your way to talk to the "new lover" as you put it is kind of psycho, I'm sorry.

 

Your behavior doesn't necessarily give her the right to be cruel - after all, we each make our own choices - but she has a point. Let her be.

 

If you put yourself out on social media in any context - ANY context - expect it to be passed around. Govern yourself with that thought in mind. Don't post anything you would be ashamed to have your name tied to.

[lovelove319]

This new "rebound" relationship she is in, will most likely not work out. It's not healthy to just jump into a new relationship (I've learned from my own experience, and here I am single again). Some people handle breakups differently and she jumped into something else way too quickly. Chances are, that relationship will not work out in the long run. I think in time she may regret the way she is treating you now. I can honestly admit I've made stupid mistakes like that and over time, I realized how immature I may have acted. It's time to let her go and move on with your life. It's so hard to do... but you deserve happiness. I'm currently struggling myself with trying to be happy after my breakup.

[wowor]

Channel the hurt into positive things for you. One of the best things I've done since being dumped is just socializing with other women. It helps the confidence a lot and builds your self-esteem. Don't go looking for a hook up, but just talk and learn to be yourself around girls again.

[Less than zero]

You're still young, make more mistakes but learn from them. Although I'm sure your intentions were good, as an outsider, you asked for it. Disconnect from social media for a while, make it just 30 days. Social media is great, but it only takes one moment of weakness to explode, and for ever to rebuild. In this case, block/delete that whole aspect of your life. Focus on your music and move on. Make it about you.

[browneyedgirl36]

You ARE doing all the right things -- well, except for contacting her new love interest and calling her -- but these things take time. You're on the right path, but really, you're going to feel bad for awhile. It's going to hurt, no matter how many steps you're taking in the right direction. It's a slow process, and you have to be patient.

 

My advice is to get off of Twitter and Facebook for now -- totally deactivate them -- and focus only on yourself. Social media complicates breakups exponentially. Even if you don't interact with her on it, the temptation to look at her posts and tweets is going to keep you from healing.

[PaintWithLight]

I am sorry that you are hurting but it is time for some tough love and time for some self-honesty.

 

You can hide behind "your search for closure" but what you did was meddle in her life big time. You wanted information for your own selfish reasons and violated her privacy. The cool and calm message was just an act, you should NOT be in contact with her. You are too hurt and vulnerable.

 

The only closure is the closure you can give yourself. How did leaving her the voicemail and talking with her current lover help you? You are now in more drama then before and on the brink of tears. Please, no contact means no contact. Look in the mirror and give yourself the validation that you are a worthy partner. Not every relationship comes with a guarantee of a happy ending but you are strong enough to weather this storm! Good luck.

[TopFive]

The past two months have been so hard for me. I was doing really well with the No Contact. Now i see why people stress the issue so much. I'm already a hard thinker, now i can't get yesterday out of my head. It's over and I should have known she'd start screwing around really fast. We started talking a month or two after she broke up with the last bf before me. She has a pattern. Her text message and her stupid tweets shows me that she REALLY doesnt care about me. I'm officially forgetting about the *****. Thank you all.