Just Soulmates OR More?

[Francis]

I moved to this new city for work four years ago and contacted this friend of my mom. She is married and has a son in his early twenties.

 

When I moved here, she adopted me as if I were her daughter and I have had a lot of good times with her and her family. I actually talk to her on the phone every day and we also e-mail daily.

 

I've got to know her family and her son fairly well. Her son is actually one of the rare persons on Earth with whom I can converse freely, about topics that we both enjoy. I have considered him as a brother for a long time and sometimes acted as an intermediary (without ever betraying his confidence, of course) between him and his mother. I often felt that we were soulmates and that we were in the same wavelength.

 

Last year, he told me he wanted to leave the house and I offered that we share an apartment together, since housing here is extremely expensive here and also because I adore his company and conversation. He declined politely, saying that he wanted to be on his own.

 

I did not get offended when he told me he wanted to be on his own, but I got really offended from the fact that he never called me or contacted me when he moved away. I guess I just sweeped him under the carpet of my subconscious and almost forgot his existence, while I still missed significantly our wonderful conversations, but I never let it show.

 

He came back home after a few months on his own. He'd had a depression and he felt lonely. He came back home and soon after asked me whether I wanted to rent an apartment with him, to be roomates.

 

Well, I don't know what happened, but I guess I had repressed a lot of anger in my subconscious for the fact that he never called me while he was away. Anyway, I snapped back at him (I am usually pretty calm) and I basically told him in a very nasty tone that I had already offered and that now it was too late. I was a bit surprised for being so nasty.

 

I felt he would never want to be my friend again after that and I considered (for whatever reason) whether I needed to move out to another city. Well, before I made up my decision on whether to move or to stay, he's decided to leave town himself and go to Europe for a while. Of course, we have resumed our long talks and I feel closer to him than ever.

 

And I don't know why, I feel devastated. Although in the past I never considered a relationship with him, due to the age difference, I don't know what is going on in my mind now, but I can't stand the thought of him leaving and meeting someone abroad.

 

Suddenly, I have all these feeling surfacing up and I don't know where or how to hide them (including erotic dreams with him). I feel that if he goes I will never meet anyone like him again, with whon I get along so well. I don't even want to leave town again but I feel like getting a bigger apartment and asking him to move with me, but I know I'll never do it. I don't know whether his mom would approve or disapprove. Is it important?

 

How can I find out whether he has feelings for me? His mom tells me that he never speaks with her or his dad or eat with them, except when I am visiting. He is very much of a gentleman with me, but ...

 

Any suggestions?

[usied]

well it seems like you are very close with him...and everyone has their ups and downs in a realationship...but all i can think of doing in your situation is to flat out tell this guy how u feel..that you think you two are soul mates and cant bear to see him leave! and ask him how he feels about this....honesty is the only way to go! and maybe if he feels the same way as you do, the two of you could travel through europe together and become even closer! Europe is a beautiful place!!!! i hope this helps you!

[novabateman]

I agree completely with usied. You have to tell him how you feel about him. He might feel the same about you and if you don't tell him both of you will be sorry in the end. He might be saying he's moving to get you to tell him how you feel. I know I have done that before. Bottom line is you should sit down and have a one on one talk with him.