Age difference advice?

[RayKay]

I am back on dating scene again, and generally I have always been with people who are anywhere from my age within a couple months, to 3 years or so older. Lately I have been dating more guys that are 5 years older range, by choice as they are generally closer to my own emotional maturity/relationship goals ideals at the moment (I am 25 by the way). I know of course there are exceptions, but in general, guys to close to my age are at a very different place than me!

 

I ask, as there is a guy I have talked to a couple times, that my sister introduced to me. He is funny, has a great smile, warm eyes, great attitude, he is a cyclist/triathlete so we share those interests, has a great job (doctor now with GP, though used to practice surgery), loves life from the little I know...and is emotionally mature (comes from a tough background as is a political refuge from Columbia). We have not gone on a date yet, though are going after he writes another medical exam next week as he is studying, but he was at my family's Thanksgiving dinner last week, and we talked a while.

 

My only hesitancy is that he is I believe 34 years old, and I am not sure I can get past that. I mean, it is not that old, and he is very fit and has a very youthful attitude so more than makes up for it I think, but I am just not sure I can get past that...though I know there are people with far larger differences! I just don't want to lead him on if it will be a problem for me though...I just don't know yet if it will be! My sister of course is encouraging as she is 18 and won't date anyone under 26 or so, so does not see why it bothers me...lol.

 

Anyway, just throwing the question out there

 

Thanks!

[hazlcha]

I say give it a shot. A nine year difference is really not much, and at the end of the day it's how well you fit together, not what it says on a drivers license that counts. I know a lot of ppl that have 16 year differences, even 22 year differences, and they are fine. If you like him, explore, and don't feel bad about leading him on if you're really keeping an open mind.

 

BTW, had a long conversation with some friends today about why ppl don't marry so quickly any more, if at all. One thing we agreed on was that now people look at each other like a shopper in a clothing store. We've become merchandise to each other, and stopped being human beings, with plusses and minuses (such as age, income, etc..).

[CarterJonas]

Hi Raykay,

 

I myself can't see a problem with a 25/34 age difference. Of course if you said 25/16, it would be another issue, but as you get older I think that it is more important to have the 'chemistry' that anything else. Why not give it a go, take it easy and you can always bail out if you think that there are too much differences, before it get too serious.

[d346]

I say definitely give it a shot.

 

I've read some of your posts in the past...and I think dating an older guy hopefully won't lead you into that "I want to be on my own and single for a while" trap that we sometimes find ourselves in when dating guys in their 20s. Hopefully by 34, he's been there, done that, and ready for a relationship if you decide you want one.