Flying high then got dropped on my face

[Hardtimes]

Month and a half of NC of a 2 yr break up and ive handled it well. Being busy improving my life and working on myself, grieving enough and stuff, the last week ive been high on life to the point where i started feeling normal and happy again, i dont kno why but an acquaintance mentioned my ex being on a dating site and i felt soooo crushed. And i kno its normal and shell move but it really cut so deep, and worse i was stuck in an office for 8 hours and it was a day i constantly had to talk to my bosses so i had to stay composed. I feel so crushed and i kno its inevitable that shell move on but actually hearing these words bring me back to earth, dunno what else to say, having a hard time cheering myself coz i have been my own cheerleader thru this whole difficult time

[bw92116]

It sounds like you were making great progress. I'm sorry that piece of news came to you and made you feel so bad. You should tell the person who told you that you don't want any information on your ex. The fact that the information hit you so hard means that you still have some more time until you are healed and really over your ex. So even though you hit a bump in the road, a pretty big one, more like a ditch, you can still keep going forward on that road. I'm sure it won't take you too long to get back to the point where you are high on life again.

[MissingAminka]

Damn, this is exactly what I'm afraid would happen to me; I'd bump into her laughing or just come accross her at all (even though I so want to, of course), just somehow knowing she's moving or already has moved on...without me!

[Hardtimes]

Thank u bw ur kind words really lessen the heaviness. Its soo tough coz even tho ur progressjng u kno in the back Of ur head that an awful day like this will happen, its awful

[Hardtimes]

Hey missingaminka, ya its a setback and theyll always happen, its the most empty feeling ever, and even when u kno ull get thru it, the pain is just unbearable when it hits, i wouldnt wish this on anyone

[FYI]

Is it just me, but why in the world would the acquaintance think for a single second that you needed to hear about your ex being on a dating site? Obviously you two broke up and you're trying to move on with your life. Why did they feel you needed to hear that? Friends are such a pain in the ass sometime; that's a bunch of lame crap that you just really needed to not hear. Now you have to reset and get back on to your high. Tell your aquaintance that you don't want to know things like that, nothing to do with the ex and to just let it be.

[Hardtimes]

Theres a reason hes only an acquaintance and not a friend, its because of immaturity and insensitivity. the guy was there to drop off something quick, i havent even aeen him in a year and thats the first thing he said to me, i played it off, put my strong face on for 8 hours and completely broke when i got home and ive been trying to change my feeljngs since but rt now icant get out of this paralyzing mental and emotional state. Its just such an awful feeling

[MissingAminka]

Hey missingaminka, ya its a setback and theyll always happen, its the most empty feeling ever, and even when u kno ull get thru it, the pain is just unbearable when it hits, i wouldnt wish this on anyone

 

This reminds me of the phenomenon of "phantom pain" or "phantom itches" where amputees literally agonize over pain or an itch in a lost limb! The really weird thing is, the brain actually is processing pain or itch signals!!

 

How doctors solved it was to place a mirror that reflected the existing limb, and when patients looked and scratched (or massaged) that existing limb -- while staring at the mirror image -- the pain/itch actually went away!!!

 

So I'm wondering, isn't there some analogue for this in affairs of the heart??

 

Hmm, maybe one day we'll have made-to-order sexbots designed not just for sex but also to help us recover from a breakup...???

 

Ah, a science fiction story!!

[bw92116]

Well, you survived it. And the fact that you survived today has made you stronger. You took a big blow and you survived it, and that took a lot of inner strength. Congratulate yourself for getting through the day with strength. You actually have become a stronger and better person from this episode. Tomorrow will be a better day, and you won't have any more bombshell news, and you have gained new strength, so I can see things only getting better for you from here on.

[Avila]

This happened to me. I was just goin along feeling awesome, thinking 'yay i'm getting over it!' And then my sister (don't ask) showed me a picture of him and his rebound and it all came rushing back. Everything. BUT. It lasted a way shorter time than the previous pains and you do move past it. You are going to be up an down. Just accept that everything will be okay again

[Hardtimes]

Hey guys i decided to beat the sh*t out of my self pity and dragged myself to the gym, i refused to quit on myself, lifted weights and banged so hard on the punching bag. I had to show my emotions who truly controls this being and thats me, i feel empowered, self sufficient, and i proved to myself once more that im bigger than any moment, i refused to be controlled by someone so distant, love u all and if u guts need help or support or words of encouragement feel free to reach out and ur pal hardtimes will be ur ear and ur shoulder to lean on, thank u all for the kind words and amazing and encouraging input