Need outside perspective about argument

[dreamwithin]

I was mad all day so I didn't have the time to be upset but then I ran out of things to do and my anxiety started building up.

 

Last night my boyfriend of 3 years was drinking with his mom. Well then they wanted to pick up his cousin so I had no choice to drive since I was the only one who doesn't drink. We are both in college and our classes start on the 22nd. He promised he would quit drinking and smoking weed before classes started. He isn't an addict or a drunk but since he turned 21 he has started drinking more. He told me he was only going to drink twice this month and it has been four times already. Then it becomes "well classes are about to start." His mom is a terrible alcoholic and I don't want to see him be one. So they were both REALLY annoying when I was driving. It upset me because he was saying all these nice things but he doesn't say that when he isn't drinking. My dad is an alcoholic and I hate the stuff and hearing things people don't mean because I hear it all the time from my dad. I told him to tell me when he was sober but he said I don't believe him then which isn't true at all. So him reminding me of my dad made me mad. Then he kept begging me to let him smoke in my car after I told him not to bring it with him. I don't support ANY type of smoking or drinking in my car. Did it matter to any of them? Of course not!

 

He promised me we would go to the beach today but instead he listened to his mom who was drunk again today say it was going to rain after I even checked the weather for the third time today. Obviously I am going to be mad. I was mad the night before and now another broken promise which I get a lot. We never go out. I like to at least once or twice a week. I don't think that is a lot at all. I don't want to just sit around and listen to his mom yell because she is drunk. He asks me what's wrong and obviously I tell him to look outside, there's no rain and it isn't fair to me that we aren't going. He just walks out like I didn't even say anything! Then an hour later asks if his cousin can use my laptop then walks out again. Oh and he promised we would go out to eat since we didn't go to the beach then three hours later says he isn't going but as soon as I leave, he goes somewhere with his mom and cousin. I'm 100% sure it was to get either weed or beer.

 

I'm going to feel used. Anyone would. So I obviously stay mad and leave. I texted him after saying that I wanted to break up because I don't exist to be his errand ***** and it isn't fair to me to feel like I am being used. I told him I was sick of his irresponsible behavior and he needed to grow up.

 

It just hurts because I don't want to break up and I thought he would text me back because according to his drunk personality, I'm "a good person" and he "doesn't want anyone but me." If someone cared and they knew you were mad, don't you think they would at least call or text you back? I feel like oh well he has beer and/or weed so he doesn't have "time" to care. Am I overreacting? I'm just sick of being the only one who is taking their life seriously. I'm starting my bachelor's, going to university soon, etc. Meanwhile, he has only taken like 3 college classes and he graduated a year before me! We aren't kids anymore. I'm really losing my patience and now I'm upset and I don't even know why. I want to call him but I feel like that isn't going to get my point accross. He's just going to brush it off like the problem never existed. Plus, if I call, I have nothing nice to say.

 

---and no sooner than I post this, he texts me saying hey. I don't even know if I want to respond. I'm still mad but if I respond I don't want him to think he can blow it off. I don't want to break up but should I? Ugh I'm just so confused. I know I want to be with him forever but this not growing up thing is getting to be so much to deal with. --

[Johnny Utah]

You need to turn and run away and never look back.

 

This has trouble all over it. The manipulating, using, drinking and mind games are absolutely terrible.

 

Please, do yourself a favour and get out of this toxic situation.

[mines]

Johnny Utah is right, OP. This is a toxic situation. In my humble opinion, no good can come out of it.......please get out of it now, while you can easily enough, and before it's too late.

 

Substance abuse, manipulation, family dysfunction.......why would you think you deserved this?

 

I wish you the best. I'm glad you posted here, it is a sure sign that you already know this is all wrong; you already know what to do, you just needed support and affirmation to do it. (as we all do! everyone needs support, and needs to know that we're doing the right thing) In this case, as you know, the right thing is to make this situation disappear. (hug)