For the first time ever, I want to avoid my birthday this year

[aphrodite12]

This is a bit of a sad thread, I apologise, I'm just having one of those sad days where I'm feeling very lonely as a result of the BU. 5 weeks now.

 

Basically, I don't plan on celebrating my birthday this year in October because my ex won't be there. I love my family and I love my friends, but there will be something missing and I will feel it. My ex was also my best pal, we were one and I made his birthday the greatest. I was really looking forward to experiencing a birthday with a man who loves me so much. I never had that experience before. So I won't be able to handle it. If I stay in my home city for that period I will miss him all the more on my special day, so I'm going so far as to go abroad. It will be the only thing that lessens the pain; new scenery. I haven't told my family this yet, I know it'll hurt them because we are all so close and birthdays are a big thing for us. But I know I'll be crushed inside to wake up on that day without him.

 

I was just wondering if anyone else feels like avoiding their birthday too.

 

I am also avoiding Christmas, since this was the time period last year when my ex and I were first getting together; 19th December would be our first anniversary. We would see the lights together, enjoy the atmosphere...doing that alone without him will feel like crap. So guess what? I am going abroad for Christmas too. I plan to spend it in a remote village in a country far away which doesn't even celebrate Christmas, lol. How depressing eh? I've never ever spoken like this before, I'm normally the happiest person ever.

 

I should mention that this is my second breakup. Both times, someone dumped me. I have been through all this grief with the first guy, which I suffered 2 years for, I know how it's all gonna feel. And I know that this grief will be amplified with this man greatly, because we were the best of friends and he cared for me like nobody ever has, and our relationship was 3 times as long. I am not prepared to suffer again.

[Hoagy]

I had a very low-key birthday this year after I fell out with my best friend. Before that she was organising a party for me but afterwards I didn't feel like partying with anyone. It's your birthday so do what you feel. When you feel better you can get your friends together and have a proper celebration. After all, if the Queen can have two birthdays then so can you.

[aphrodite12]

Thanks for sharing that. At this point it just doesn't feel like I ever want to celebrate another birthday. Not unless he and I get back together. It's so ironic, I made his birthday the absolute greatest

[Johnny Utah]

I can appreciate the need to run away. To run away from memories and pain. But when you do, you are validating the connection between the memories and pain. There doesn't have to be a connection.

 

I just had my birthday and I felt down. Last time, when I went to the same places, I would always think of her.

 

I think you should try to break the association between an event and the memory. New memories would be the way to go. Use friends and family to support and help you. You don't have to be alone and there doesn't have to be a link. The past is past.

[unhappy2000]

My birthday just passed last month and we were BU and NC for two months, I didn't want to face it because he made my birthday the biggest event every year and I couldn't face it without him. I went out of town on vacation for my birthday to make new memories, not sure if it was the best idea because I got sad that he didn't text me but at least I wasn't at home and I was in new surroundings so that did help!

[NotYetCrazy]

I planned a very low key gathering for my birthday. I didn't really want celebrate that much for the same reason. The birthday actually went pretty well, but then the news broke that my ex just got engaged and will be married in 2 weeks. We broke up 5 months ago...

[origami]

Please delete

[aphrodite12]

We're all in the same boat it seems. But atleast you guys already experienced your birthday with your ex. I was yet to.

 

But seriously, when I did so, so, so much for his birthday to make him happy, and if all he does for mine when it comes is send me 2 words in a text, that will lower him a lot in my eyes. Which will ironically make me feel better. Lol.

[unhappy2000]

Be glad you never got to celebrate it with him! No memories to re write or sadness of last year at this time we were....