My best friend has attention and jealousy problems

[GirlGreen]

Ok, im going out with this guy and we both like eachother a lot. We have been going out for 2 1/2 months but been ''together'' for like, six more before that.

 

Before we were going out my best friend (sally) would always flirt with him, just him, in front of me. She has attention and jealousy problems, but it would really make me sad because he would just go along with it, sense hes kinda a big flirt.

 

Her attention and jealousy problems - my other good friend (betty) liked this guy, and sally told me one time that she wanted betty to ask him out and he would say, ''no..i cant.. im in love with sally.'' When she said that i was just blown away because of how pure evil that statement was, because its not like she liked him or anything. awhile later i told betty that because i felt like she thought the same thing about my boyfriend. she wanted more then anything for him to like her unstead of me, even tho she didnt like him.

 

at lunch she would always sit next to him, and a lot of times she would end up sitting between us. once he was writing something on a piece of paper and she was like, oooo is that a love note to me?!!? and one time she like, was trying to talk to someone on the other side of him and would lay accross him.

During open hour, although i wasnt there and betty would tell me this, she would always ask him for a massage. and she would be all crabby to people and then once he came she would be like ''HIII BOB!!!!'' and be all nice to him

 

That started to go away once we got more serious because she probly relized she had no chance of stealing him away or anything.

 

Now, the last couple days my boyfriend and i have kinda been fighting, or not getting along as much (everything is taken care of now tho) and she has been taking advantage of that. one time just him and i were laying on the hammock and she came up and asked if she could lay with us. she layed down and then in a few minutes he said i need a headrest. so i put my hand there as his pillow, or something, and then she was like, here and she put her arm around his neck. they started flirting, like, right in front of me! he was like, i just wish it has a massage! shes like, too bad i cant massage out of my ELBOW. oh, well ill just do this and she started moving it, then i didnt really listen cause i ddint wanna hear them flirting.

Another time when we were still laying she came up and pretended to be giving him a handjob as a joke or something.

i know these arent much, but it just all adds up and she only seems to be flirting with him! no one else but him!

 

Its not that im over reacting because my friend betty came up and kissed both of us on the cheak and both us kissed each other and her on the cheak and i didnt care at all, it didnt bother me. but then i thought, wow if that were sally i would probly go and cry.

 

Now no one tell me to break up with him cause he shouldent be flirting with my best friend. i like him a lot and i know he likes me a lot, so thats not an option, and its not that easy.

 

when im around both of them everything she does bugs me and everytime they talk bugs me.

[DBL]

Personally if I was you, I would smack her around. In my opinion them messing around is probably in the waiting. I would really start to worry when they stop flirting with each other. At that point...something may have already happened. They would naturally stop flirting thinking it wouldn't be so obvious.

 

Do you ever mention how you don't like the flirting going on between either one of them?

 

DBL

[inept]

Don't jump to conclusions. Just confront her with this problem. If she really is your best friend she would respect your opinion and not flirt with him anymore. If it really gets bad, you should talk to both of them. Just be mature about it and everything will work out.

[SandyD]

Well, for one, I would avoid your girlfriend for a while. I don´t know if most people would agree, but she is going out of her way to very obviously flirt with your boyfriend and she obviously doesn´t consider you (or anyone else for that matter) much, so I´d be a little scared of giving her even more power by acknowledging that what she is doing is bothering you. She might go to your boyfriend and tell him that you are jealous of her, and all of a sudden "you" are the insecure person.

I´d try more subtle things, like being very affectionate with your boyfriend when she is around, and playfully putting her down when she tries to steal the scene. You can really get the message accross and make her feel stupid with a few comments that seem like you´re joking when you´re not. All in all, don´t freeze and tune them out when she is flirting with him... get in there and mess it up, he´s your boyfriend, not hers.