Do I stay, or do I go???

[XxMaErCs13xX]

Yesterday, my GF of almost 9 months broke up with me over the DUMBEST thing. Ok, the day before yesterday she mentioned her and I going to pick my sis up from college. My sis and her are butting heads at the moment so I knew that my sis wouldn't be too cool with that, but I asked anyways to see how she'd feel about it. My sis didn't like the idea, which I tought was a bit messed up because my GF was trying to make an attempt to speak with her and my sis just kinda blew her off....like she has in the past. - So I told my GF that I wasn't going to go to pick my sis up. - BUT, i was unaware that I had the day off yesterday; my dad says, "We'll go early in the morning to get your sis," so I figure I can go pick her up (making her a bit happy), and then I'd have the rest of the day to chill with my GF. But when I told her (my GF) it didn't go exactly how I expected...

She just starts going crazy, getting all mad, saying things like, "You said you weren't going to go & now you're going; i'm tired of your lies," and, "Why are you going over there to make your sister happy, she doesn't even care about your relationship with me; she doesn't deserve for u to do that for her." - I get mad first of all because she tells me that I'm a lier, because I didn't lie, I simply changed my mind in the morning. - and I could see if we had something planned for the whole day, BUT I didn't know I had the day off, so I wouldn't have been getting off of work 'till after 4 anyways, and we were back from getting my sis WAY before then; but she was mad anyways. - I begin to tell her that I just figured I could do something nice and pick my sis up, and then I'd spend the rest of the day with her. and she wants so say something stupid like, "oh, so I just get your LEFTOVER TIME?!!" THAT made me a bit mad because how could a person that really loves me consider any of my time as leftover time; I was back from picking her up at 1pm........and we could've had all day,.......but thats leftover time...in her eyes anyway.

Oh and then (this is still the same phone call from the morning; me letting her know that I was going to get my sis), THEN she's like, "I don't even want to be with you anymore." I'm continuously telling her to calm down and to think about what she's saying, 'cause she likes doing and saying stupid things out of anger. she didn't listen to me tho.

After we hang up I head out so I can go get my sis. She calls me asking me if my roomate is in the room, I tell her "no." She then tells me that there will be some stuff outside of my door waiting for me; and THEN she says that she's taking the $270 dollar stereo that I bought her and leaving it at my door, just like that. - I went by her house, and she was putting the radio in her car, piece by piece, so I went and took it off her hands. - Then i get back to my room before i actually headed out to get my sis, and saw that she did leave some stuff at the door. Just things that I bought or gave her: cards, clothes, pictures, stuffed animals, EVERYTHING i ever gave her. - That just made me mad too. Not that she was going to leave that expensive radio out on my door just like that, just the simple fact that the way she was acting showed me she she didn't appreciate anything i've ever done or given to her. It showed me that I could give her the moon and if she got a little pissed at me for something stupid, she'd just throw it back at me. - it showed me that she didn't appreciate the time i gave her,...'cause if it wasn't enough time in HER EYES, then it was considered leftover time.

That isn't all of it though. She calls, & calls, & calls me ALL day long and I don't speak to her AT ALL. Her friends call me and tell me that she's going crazy because I won't talk to her. That I'm messed up because we had been together for so long and I just wanted to end it like that. and i'm like....."umm...SHE'S THE ONE WHO STARTED ALL OF THIS!!" she's the one who wanted to act a fool, make a little scene and give all my stuff back to me, and all the stuff i gave her back to me. Now, I knew she would've been a little mad, but to act the way she did was just immature; it was stupid. She wants to get mad at me because I want to end on bad terms; if a break up gets to the point where you're giving things back to each other....u really can't end it on good terms, u know?! -

Now,...she's still has her friends calling me as I'm typing this...asking me to please talk to her. and I'm like........I've put up with a lot of her funky attitude. She always wants to get mad over some dumb stuff, I always put up with it,...i let her know,...but i let it slide. - and it's like.....they way she acted yesterday, pulling this little stunt......I can't just let it slide; or at least I feel like i can't let it slide because she'll never learn. & she'll always know that....."oh, he can get all hard and put his foot down,...but give it a day or 2 and everything will be ok",...like I'm a pushover or something. I can't let it slide. I figure,....she mad her bed....now she's going to lay in it. - it's so hard to be this way, because I'm so in love with her,....but i've always been a bit mistreated by her. I'm just tired of it. I love her, but I want her to change. I feel tho, if i just up and talk to her....and eventually get back with her......she'll think she'll be able to get away with anything, u know?? We'll see what happens.

[SKaterBassPLayer]

Wow, sounds like she does not know what she is doing. Maybe she is telling her friends to call you because she just wants to talk about it. I dont know im not good at this stuff . Anyways good luck with that, I can see how mad you are based on what she did.

[ForAnother]

Yep, i'd be outta that relationship. Not worht your "leftover time" that she calls it. She sayin that stuff when she angry? well its immature, and irresponsible. She playing games with you. Just run from that crap..

 

ForAnother

[lillady898]

Wow, what a situation! Yeah, her actions may seem a little irrational, but who really knows? I know how females think. I am a female. There may be more to it, thus is why I think you should probaby talk to her.

 

She might have had a bad day, bad night, bad hour, or something. Someone may have said something about your relationship to confuse her and when that little thing happened, she just freaked. She may be upset that she's not getting along with your sister, who is a part of your life. She may think that part may be gone and all else will be done away with. Who knows, it may be that week where females don't need a reason to be in a bad mood, they just are. There can be more to a story. Who knows, maybe there was just bad reasoning on her part.

 

You should tell her all of this. Tell her exactly how you're feeling, piece by piece. If you love her, salavage the relationship. You don't want to regret anything. And if it doesn't work out, it's always nice to have closure. Just consider it. Good luck!

[rosalind24]

she definitely blew things out of proportion, and you have all the right in the world to be upset.

 

=/ I don't think she's in the position to voice an opinion over you picking up your sister. That's your sister after all, why shouldn't you be nice to your sister?

 

As for the "changing your mind = you're a liar" thing, I don't quite get why some people think that way. A friend of mine's always complaining to me, "Dang, Jason's such a flake! He said we'd hang out today and he just told me he can't come. It's all his fault that I have no plans tonight. He's such a liar." My reaction... don't count on me to ever say we'll hang out.

[XxMaErCs13xX]

...Well, it's been 4 days since she broke things off. She feels bad for what she did; she knows she over reacted with giving me all my stuff back, ...but i think she still needs some time to "reflect" on what she did.

I mean, on Saturday she was all pushy about "lets talk; we need to talk," I tell her that I'm still bothered by what she did & I would need some more time before her and I spoke; she wasn't trying to hear that. I know how I am, and I know that naturally I'd come around and want to talk to her, BUT she started being all persistent and pushy about the 2 of us talking telling me things like, "well, i'm outta work, are we going to talk tonight or what??," and i told her no, since she couldn't stop being pushy.

THEN on Sunday, @ church, she came up to me asking me if we could talk after church, and I told her no 'cause I had things to do (which I did), but she wasn't trying to hear that either. - - She starts getting pushy about it AGAIN which started pissing me off, & finally comes and says something like, "Is this how u want things to be?? If so then I'll just leave and be out of your life forever." *sigh*...so i tell her, "Goodbye," and she gets up and goes back to her seat. - She was sitting with 2 friends of mine who after the mass tell me that she was crying the whole time after what I told her & blahblahblah. - - - Then she approches me and starts talking about the situation, crying her eyes out. I can't help but to hold her close and try to comfort her a little, because as much as she hurt me I still lover her very much and I hate to see her in so much pain,...BUT she did it to herself, ya know?!! - Then she starts saying things that weren't making any kind of sense like, "why do I have to wait until YOU'RE ready to talk about things?," which started making me a little mad, so i would tell her that I was leaving and she wouldn't let me leave!! that happened about 6 or 7 times at least. Then finally she said the right thing that pissed me off enough that made me walk off for good, she grabbed my arm & I snatched it back from her and kept walking. It wasn't very nice of me,....but i wish she would've just let me walk away...'cause thats what I was trying to avoid. - - Later that day she text messages me telling me that she was sorry for upsetting me and that I was right in saying that she should just wait until I was ready to talk about things & thats where it stands as of now.

I really want her to take all that has happened this weekend and learn from it; I want her to be a better person. - I dont' know what to do about it tho. On on hand I love her to death and I want nothing more than to be with her IF she's a changed person after all of this,...and on the other hand I feel that if she is this way now....then maybe she'll never change....so why should I even consider going back to that?? I'm really stuck right now and I have no clue what to do.......