DrkRaven Posted July 2, 2012 Share Posted July 2, 2012 So my fiancee were having an odd discussion, and i wanted to ask others about this. We have a very active sex life. Been together lil over two years and still are intimate regularly. We're adventerous (ok she is adventurous and i happily go along with it. Nothing crazy just food, positions and stuff like that) and i was wondering if it will still be like this after were married. I heard it dies. I dont think either of us could handle the otehr suddenly...not interested. Does sex end at marriage? Link to comment
FYI Posted July 2, 2012 Share Posted July 2, 2012 It won't for you as long as you continue to do the things that made your fiancee see all the reasons you were special and decide to marry you. We might change in other areas of our lives, but never change that. Link to comment
Huntress0527 Posted July 2, 2012 Share Posted July 2, 2012 It's not so much it dies but rather people get comfortable and lazy. You have to work at it to keep the spice going. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted July 2, 2012 Share Posted July 2, 2012 No, it gets better in my opinion because of the level of commitment (I understand that some view marriage as just a legality, a piece of paper -we do not). I also, personally, felt more freedom to express myself sexually within a serious, committed relationship. Link to comment
Miss Firecracker Posted July 2, 2012 Share Posted July 2, 2012 Just don't get married and you won't have to risk it. Seriously, it varies with every couple. No way to predict what will happen because life is unpredictable. Some years are good, and some really suck. I've been there for 30 years, and I can say it is an adventure. Hopefully you can get a few good decades of sex. Then eventually you both shrivel and dry up and just watch tv mostly. Link to comment
In a Pickle Posted July 2, 2012 Share Posted July 2, 2012 I was with my ex-wife for 21 years, and I can say that all the time that we were together the intimacy was fantastic for the both of us. Every time (A few times a night, and/or day if the children were out...lol, several times a week) it was as fresh and varied as it was when we first started out together as a couple...So in a word no, it doesn't fade and die once you're married..Keep it fresh, varied and spicy, and it will only get better... Link to comment
SuperDuper Posted July 2, 2012 Share Posted July 2, 2012 Hopefully you can get a few good decades of sex. Then eventually you both shrivel and dry up and just watch tv mostly. Wow.. that paints a drab picture for my future. Shrivel and dry up?? ... I agree with the other posters that you have to work to keep the spice alive. However, I'm nowhere close to being married and Miss Firecracker speaks from experience.. I just hope she's wrong in my case Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted July 2, 2012 Share Posted July 2, 2012 Wow.. that paints a drab picture for my future. Shrivel and dry up?? ... I agree with the other posters that you have to work to keep the spice alive. However, I'm nowhere close to being married and Miss Firecracker speaks from experience.. I just hope she's wrong in my case LOL. Well she IS a firecracker!! OMG the visual of two shriveled up old coots sitting on their lazy-boys hahaha. It's just too funny. By the way, I wanted to add....take a look around. There are plenty of single or 'dating' people who have pretty crappy sex lives. So it sure isn't the marriage that kills things, it's the people! Just my take. My married friends seem to be doing pretty good, but what do I know? Link to comment
InvisibleWound Posted July 2, 2012 Share Posted July 2, 2012 I've been with my boyfriend for going on 6 years and we live together. I find in the first lots of sex, died, came back, died... Right now I suppose we have sex 1-4 times a month or so, depending. I have a high sex drive and he doesn't but we are doing ok. I think keeping the spice alive and trying new things will help. If one of you came into the relationship with a low sex drive, don't expect things to change, chances are they won't. Link to comment
Miss Firecracker Posted July 2, 2012 Share Posted July 2, 2012 We have La-Z-Boys!! Now I wonder how we survived without them. I sit in the chair, and he is on the sofa. And he has the remote and I have iPad. This couple in their mid-70's are coming to visit us this week. It's been about 6 years since they have been here, and that last time my husband told the man that they could have a nice romantic date in the hotel room. The man told my husband, "I've been with her for 50 years. I couldn't get a ****-** if I had to." He was serious too. There are just so many times a body can do that same old thing. I know one couple our age, the wife said she won't even do vaginal anymore. Just quick oral and go to the sink and spit. Link to comment
Miss Firecracker Posted July 2, 2012 Share Posted July 2, 2012 I've been with my boyfriend for going on 6 years and we live together. I find in the first lots of sex, died, came back, died... Right now I suppose we have sex 1-4 times a month or so, depending. I have a high sex drive and he doesn't but we are doing ok. I think keeping the spice alive and trying new things will help. If one of you came into the relationship with a low sex drive, don't expect things to change, chances are they won't. Yes, I agree with that. People really do NOT change that much when it comes to sex. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted July 2, 2012 Share Posted July 2, 2012 We have La-Z-Boys!! Now I wonder how we survived without them. I sit in the chair, and he is on the sofa. And he has the remote and I have iPad. This couple in their mid-70's are coming to visit us this week. It's been about 6 years since they have been here, and that last time my husband told the man that they could have a nice romantic date in the hotel room. The man told my husband, "I've been with her for 50 years. I couldn't get a ****-** if I had to." He was serious too. There are just so many times a body can do that same old thing. I know one couple our age, the wife said she won't even do vaginal anymore. Just quick oral and go to the sink and spit. LOL. This lady who comes into my work, in her late 60s, she is awesome and has been married a long time, the one day she leans in to me real serious like as though she has something very important to say, "About relationships, young lady, I have been married for 41 years, and do you know what I have learned?....... I'm all ears, waiting for this nugget of true wisdom "I am ready for a change". LOL. Link to comment
Huntress0527 Posted July 2, 2012 Share Posted July 2, 2012 We have La-Z-Boys!! Now I wonder how we survived without them. I sit in the chair, and he is on the sofa. And he has the remote and I have iPad. This couple in their mid-70's are coming to visit us this week. It's been about 6 years since they have been here, and that last time my husband told the man that they could have a nice romantic date in the hotel room. The man told my husband, "I've been with her for 50 years. I couldn't get a ****-** if I had to." He was serious too. There are just so many times a body can do that same old thing. I know one couple our age, the wife said she won't even do vaginal anymore. Just quick oral and go to the sink and spit. That's my husband and me! We have a reclining sofa and loveseat. The sofa ends both recline. You'll find me with the remote and him with the ipad reclined, lol! Link to comment
DrkRaven Posted July 2, 2012 Author Share Posted July 2, 2012 Yes, I agree with that. People really do NOT change that much when it comes to sex. I hope thats the case. My fiancee has a high sex drive.....that leaves a smile on my face. But when we kept my nephew, we were toooo tired to do anything, although we both wanted to, so it was just kissing. And then there was the fact that he was down the hall from us and had a habit of walking in the room without knocking...no matter how many times i told him to. So im guessing kids make a huge difference. Link to comment
Miss Firecracker Posted July 2, 2012 Share Posted July 2, 2012 I hope thats the case. My fiancee has a high sex drive.....that leaves a smile on my face. But when we kept my nephew, we were toooo tired to do anything, although we both wanted to, so it was just kissing. And then there was the fact that he was down the hall from us and had a habit of walking in the room without knocking...no matter how many times i told him to. So im guessing kids make a huge difference. Ours are adult boys, ages 29 and 24. Until maybe five years ago, both would still come knocking on our locked bedroom door. At that point I called a meeting and explained that if our door was closed and locked, that means we need privacy for a little while and please do not knock. Since that day, they never have. Guess I should have done that sooner. I don't think they ever considered we have sex. Link to comment
Miss Firecracker Posted July 2, 2012 Share Posted July 2, 2012 LOL. This lady who comes into my work, in her late 60s, she is awesome and has been married a long time, the one day she leans in to me real serious like as though she has something very important to say, "About relationships, young lady, I have been married for 41 years, and do you know what I have learned?....... I'm all ears, waiting for this nugget of true wisdom "I am ready for a change". LOL. I'm sure she meant that too. Ha ha ha! She needs to go see Magic Mike. Link to comment
Blue Spiral Posted July 2, 2012 Share Posted July 2, 2012 I've never known a married man that didn't complain about a lack of sex after saying the magic words. Thankfully, that's something I'll never have to worry about. Link to comment
Miss Firecracker Posted July 2, 2012 Share Posted July 2, 2012 I've never known a married man that didn't complain about a lack of sex after saying the magic words. Thankfully, that's something I'll never have to worry about. Some only get sex on special occasions, like Anniversaries and Birthdays. Link to comment
Blue Spiral Posted July 3, 2012 Share Posted July 3, 2012 Some only get sex on special occasions, like Anniversaries and Birthdays. I've heard all the horror stories. Pretty much all of my older male relatives/acquaintances have told me not to get married. Some are divorced, but most are still married. Link to comment
DrkRaven Posted July 3, 2012 Author Share Posted July 3, 2012 Some only get sex on special occasions, like Anniversaries and Birthdays. Wow O_o but its never been like that before. I mean, we have sex regularly and she is often times raring to go before i even say anything O_o. Why would it change? Link to comment
journeynow Posted July 6, 2012 Share Posted July 6, 2012 Does sex end at marriage? Not at all! Link to comment
Miss Firecracker Posted July 7, 2012 Share Posted July 7, 2012 Wow O_o but its never been like that before. I mean, we have sex regularly and she is often times raring to go before i even say anything O_o. Why would it change? It may not change for you. But it does for many. Time will tell. It takes two. Link to comment
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