Whats so bad about being a virgin?

[Shinobie]

I mean whenever your in arguments with people and they try to put u down they always go after the fact that your a virgin.Like whenever i make a comment too someone in real life or in a chat room about something on how thats wrong how they just have sex randomly.They so "o your a virgin" and call me pathetic and stuff.Telling me to just keep your mouth shut but i dont see whats so pathetic about it.What is so important about sex at this age???????I always thought it was meant to express your love for someone you marry and too have kids later down the line.I can understand them calling me pathetic for never having a girlfriend because that is pretty pathetic at the age im at even not having done anything such as kissing or anything too but o well.But i mean i do not know whats the big deal about having sex at our ages when everything is just so meaningless most of the time for relationships.Unless you have been going out with that person for quite along time.They just bother u so much about being a virgin until you feel like a loser like that you are totally stupid if you are.Iono why it is so important to some people that they have to put me down...

[SilverSurfer]

We're all entitled to our own opinion and choice... and if others choose to put you down for whatever reason, you must recognise that they are just being pushy with their opinions. You shouldn't have to feel silly if you know that there are valid reasons behind your choice of actions.

 

I would just walk away from such arguments... why carry on? It's as if these people are putting others down only because they need assurance that their course of action is correct.

[raggamuffin]

There is nothing wrong with being a virgin what so ever. Sex should be something people do when they are in love, and I think that sex with someone you are in love with is much more satisfying than sex for the sake of sex.

 

Stay true to yourself and dont worry about not having a girlfriend or even kissing someone at your age, it will make it more worthwhile and special when it does happen.

[S4il]

110% agree with the people above..

 

Look at it like this, I'm 23 and I'm still a Virgin, Your Probably thinking

 

 

"YEA RIGHT, Your just saying that to make me feel better"

 

Do i feel bad about it, that answer to that is NO, why should i, Why should someone feel bad about something they only have One time in there life, Why is society so harsh on young adults about being Virgins, You answer is

 

1 TV

2 Movies

3 Internet

4 Friends

 

Things have changed, since our parents were in there teens (scary thought i know) here is what you do, when someone gives you some BS next time about you being a virgin, Say sarcastic things back to them, and Put em in there place. I know i had to when i was in Highschool and i tell you what, It SURE Shut them up, they just stood there looking at me like they had a chicken bone in there throat when i told them things like this.

 

 

" Well, i know it bothers you that i'm still a virgin, And there isn't anything

 

you can do to change that, But instead of dwelling on the fact that i'm not

 

like yourself, that I'm not like how everyone else should be at my age, I

 

still have something you don't have, and never will have back again b/c

 

you most likely lost it to someone out of Lust, Not love..so what you and

 

everyone else is implying is that it automatically makes you a superior

 

person to have lost your virginity at 16 or 17...hell even 15, Do you feel

 

like a Man b/c of that?, I guess you think your top dog b/c you gave up

 

something that wasn't as important to you as it is to me. can u honestly

 

admit that to yourself, or does being a Man make you more of a Mouse,

 

Does it hurt you that much, That you have to jump on someone else's

 

back because there not like you, I'm sorry but i have to say if thats the

 

way you see things, your a Sad Case my friend, b/c It's

 

not the same in my eyes.. (laugh at the end)

 

 

If you don't laugh they know it bothers you, So put on a REALLY sarcastic Smile, and look em all DEAD in the Eye.

[Iori_Yagami]

Surely this attitude only shows the lack of experience.

 

I does not necessarily mean something bad, or good, for this matter. For example, if a person have never driven a Ferrari, you can't blame him/her for that even if you're a star racer. Still, experienced racers would neglect any suggestions from someone unexperienced as such a person.

 

I guess you get the idea. Do not hurry. As I've read in my Software Quality Assuarance book, they say "People quickly forget about how fast you've done the job, but they remember for a long time how good you did it." With a bit of imagination, it can be projected onto this aspect of relationships too. Having had a lot of partners does not automatically give better sex. Having a true soulmate does.

[sasha505]

But you said it yourself - they make a comment about you being a virgin after you pass comments about how it's wrong (in your opinion) to have sex casually.

They have an opinion, as do you.

 

There's nothing wrong with being a virgin but there's nothing wrong with anyone else sleeping around either if that's how they choose to live. It's none of your business what other people do.

 

I'm the same age as you, I lost my virginity when I was 14 and I don't regret it. I've had 6 partners since then and I don't regret one of them.

I have my opinions about sex and you have a different one.

 

Neither of us are right or wrong. Different people, different opinions.

[Shinobie]

Wow im sorry but 14??????At that age iono but holy crap if u have a kid at that age u r screwed for the rest of your life so much its not even funny.My friends mom had him when she was 14.Now she is 30,000 dollar sin debt she works her butt off for practically no money and barely even makes enought o live.They live paycheck to paycheck rationing their food or barely even having some sometimes.Is that the life some of you women want??????I know we have our own opinions and mine is your not mature enough at that age to be having sex and no matter what people tell mei know it is very wrong.

[skittles_109]

Well there's definitely nothing wrong with being a virgin. I'm still one and I don't even care that I haven't had sex yet. At our age there is a lot of pressure to do it though so it can be a bit of a touchy subject but most of the people I know don't mind that I'm still a virgin and are proud that I'm waiting until I meet someone I really care about.

 

My one friend lost her virginity to this guy she works with all the while knowing that he was just using her for sex... and she also knew that he was having sex with another girl they work with. I'm sure there are people out there that enjoy just casual sex with no relationship to worry about but I could not imagine having sex for the first time when it's just casual and you know the other person doesn't really care about you.

 

So yea, being a virgin is not a bad thing, it just means that you haven't found the right person. I can totally relate to you and it's not something that you should feel bad about that's for sure. I have much more respect for people who wait until the time is right rather than setting idealistic sexual goals for themselves.

[ComputerGuy]

Sasha...I think the issue here isnt so much not sharing their views, its the fact that people give crap to others who are virgins. You don't see virgins running around making fun of people who have had sex because they aren't virgins.

 

As you said yourself, people have their own views and it's no ones business what other people do.....which I agree with. However, that also applies to the people who think differently to shinobie....so he's a virgin, thats none of THEIR business.

 

Basically, I agree with you, if people stopped making other peoples sex lives their own business, than the world would be a better place, but when one side bites, the other is going to bite back at some point.

[sasha505]

Sasha...I think the issue here isnt so much not sharing their views, its the fact that people give crap to others who are virgins. You don't see virgins running around making fun of people who have had sex because they aren't virgins.

 

Excuse me? Virgins don't act all high and mighty and haughty about something that they have no idea about? Did you read the personal attack on me by the author of this thread just above?

And using terms like "sl**" and "wh**e" (had to alter for the profanity filter - you know the terms to which I refer) in high school and stuff are usually by all the virgins trying to villify the people who choose to have sex (whether they're responsible or wreckless about who and why they do so).

 

In response to the original poster, perhaps you wouldn't have been ready for sex at the same age I was, but I knew what I was doing, I was ready and nothing bad came of it and I'm extremely happy in my relationships since then. I know what I'm doing, I practise extremely safe sex (condoms and on the pill), I have a steady boyfriend and I'm not too immature to know what I'm doing.

Making assumptions about the maturity level of people you know next to nothing about doesn't prove anything except your own blantant ignorance about a subject.

 

You just need to pull your head in, stop forcing your opinion that sex is wrong when you have no idea and it's all about individual circumstances, and learn to respect the fact that everyone reaches milestones at different times.

Just because you've met people that at age 14, 16, or 25 aren't ready for sex or have made mistakes because of you it, you can't pidgeon hole everyone who chooses to engage in teenage sex. And trying to say that just because you have sex when you're young that you're likely to end up a starving bum rashioning your food is just ridiculous.

[ComputerGuy]

OK, I understand Shinobie may have been a bit harsh and blunt.

 

It has been my experience that the people refferring to others as...promiscuous...aren't virgins so much and the ones who are referred to in this way, are the ones that seem to sleep with a different person every chance they get. When I was in high school, it was like Shinobie said, being mad fun of for being a virgin (not me personally but in general) and there was not a whole lot of it going the other way.....that's not to say it didn't happen, just wasn't as prominent.

 

Personally, you may be ready for sex, that's fine, and as you said, different people are ready at different ages. I didn't and am not going to make assumptions on peoples maturity and age as I don't know them to pass judgement on that. You may be ready for sex now....and that's fine, no arguments here.

 

I don't care if other people have sex....if they are ready than who am I to tell them to stop. As you said, it's all about individual circumstances. As for the issue of getting pregnant, yeah, it's a risk, but so is everything else in life......it doesn't mean you are going to be out on ur bum for the rest of your life.....my cousin is only 17 and him and his g/f have a baby, and they are doing fine, so I agree with you there.

 

I'm not trying to say sex is wrong....because it isnt....I was raised with very open views on sex...nothing in my family was taboo for discussion. I am far from ignorant on the matter as well, as I lost my virginity in my late teens.

 

My only argument was that virgins seem to be made fun of for being virgins and that virgins dont run around doing the same thing to people that aren't. That argument was based on my personal experience. Yours may be different, but where I went to school, my argument is accurate. Other than that, I agree with you completely.

 

Sorry if I came off wrong, I wasn't attacking you or anything, just stating what has been the case personally

[Shinobie]

Iono where this post is going but my original topic is why do i have to be put down so much for being a virgin?I mean yes im probably unattractive to have any girl like me in that way but i was just born this way but i wasnt lucky so i got the ugly side of the stick.Iono why i have to be put down i mean the looks u got if any of u guys have good looks didnt do anything for those looks you were just born with them.Like i said u were born with those looks u did nothing at all for those looks nothing............U were blessed but most take it for granted.I mean even i had the chance to have sex i wouldnt do it because in my mind i think its wrong.Cause im not gonna go out and degrade the meaning of it by sleeping around liek crazy like practically more then half of teenagers do it because they r just demeaning the true meaning of it which is for love.I cant wait to get this part of life because the teenage years r like the worst years of some peoples lives.I feel so stupid being a teenager because so many of us r so stupid and make so many stupid decisions and dont know anything at are age.Once im 30 and i look back on this ill thank god for letting me be away from all the stupidity!O Well back to listening to some system of a down /chop suey because i am in a mad/happy/I DONT CARE mood right now!!!!!! So ill go have some fun.

[redline052]

The school i came from (im going to a private christain school now, where litteraly everyone is still stuck on kissing), all of my friends have already lost their virginity, whether just recently, or a long time ago. My friends always knew i was a virgin, and sometimes i did get crap for it, but most of the time id get something like "dude, we gotta get you laid tonight". It never would happen though, and now im glad i was never put into that position to decide whether to lose my virginity or not on some girl i met that night.

 

I was never a really attractive guy, i was a little chubby (right at the point where girls dont like you cuz you look fat) so i didnt really have to worry about getting a girlfriend. This summer i did lose weight, and i switched schools (parents got sick of my old one) to some preppy private christian school. I guess the weight i lost made me a more attractive guy, cuz soon i was hearing that a bunch of girls liked me (i thought it was a joke at first), and then i found a girl i really liked and im going out with her now.

 

Its weird because she has never done ANYTHING with a guy, and i mean shes never even kissed a guy before. I have never met such a beautiful girl, and find that she has kept from even doing that. I love that fact, and it would be awesome if i was her first kiss. I now highly value being a virgin, and having a virgin gf. I never really ever thought about it until i really realized how special it would be for me to be her first...literally everything. I think its on a whole different level when you are a virgin. Without being one, i would think that the whole point of love, and relationships is worthless.

[Shinobie]

Wish something like that would happen to me redline but hey im very happy for u mang.I got no weight too lose or anything cause im really skinny so i guess ill stay unattractive either way.

[ayekasong]

The opposite thing has actually happened to me. My friends who are virgins give me crap for not being one. At any rate, I respect their decisions. I actually know more virgins who are older than me than ones who are my age. Regardless, there is nothing wrong with being a virgin or not a virgin, as long as your decision is well thought out. I lost my virginity at 20. Not to gloat, but I feel my decision was well thought out. I had always wanted to wait until I was married, but it felt right with my boyfriend. I could see us staying together forever - BUT I also strongly considered the possibility that we wouldn't be. And you know what? After a while I realized that the fact we had sex wouldn't destroy me if we broke up later. So we did it. And we're still together. And I don't view my virgin friends any differently, although some of them view me differently.

 

I don't view virgins differently than non-virgins, and I think non-virgins who make fun of virgins have insecurity issues.

[chanceit]

The whole virgin thing has nothing to do with you being a virgin Shinobie.

 

if it wasn't that it would be something else like you're too tall,

you got big ears,

you're gto the wrong colour hair,

you got the wrong colour skin,

you're too short,

you're girlfriends ugly,

you're crap in bed,

etc, etc, etc...

 

There's always going to to be people who want to put you down because

of there own insecuritys

[Linda109]

Ummm... I don't want to sound harsh, but my studies in psychology clearly show that NO one should really have sex during their teenage years, (probably young adult years). I'm not trying to point fingers at anyone or anything and I know how a bunch of people claim that they were ready when they were 13/14 etc. but 30 years from now you'll be like "wtf was i thinking?" trust me it happens alot. Adding on during your teenage years you go through puberty which means, YOUR HORMONES ARE OUT OF CONTROL, annnnnnnnnnnd you have all these sexual tensions and blah blah. What I'm trying to say, according to Erik Erikson and all those crap loads of psychologists clearly state that during this stage, your body and feelings are a bit out of hand and YOU, yes, you the person in there hasn't really caught up with all this maturation. But hey, whatever I wouldn't rush it though when your too young because puberty/maturation can do that to you

[sasha505]

Ummm... I don't want to sound harsh, but my studies in psychology clearly show that NO one should really have sex during their teenage years, (probably young adult years).

 

Uh.. your studies in psychology? You're a fifteen year old girl. What kind of possible education could you have in the field of psychology?

 

Have sex whenever it feels right. It's just sex for gods sake. Play it safe and know what you're doing and quit making it into something bigger than it really is.

[Shinobie]

Sorry but thats hopefully where america isnt going because that would be !!!!!!!!Wow but i think that is where america is going with all these lil 14 year old girls singing like Sl*ts like they are 20 for god sakes!!!!!I mean wow lol they dont even reach their full view on life until they are at leasta an adult.I truly know that i have matured A LOT since i was 14 just too 17.I was an ignorant lil fool at 14 compared to what i am now.I have been watching over things and seeing all the wrong things us human beings do.Im still ignorant but i still know a lot more then when i was a 14 year old.I personally think that your still a kid that doesnt know anything much about anything up until the point of like 20.Cause i know that i am still maturing.We are human beings we r not meant to hump like rabbits thats why we have a thing called a brain that thinks logically most of the time.But most of the time us human beings just give into hormones.Its like "**hormone mode on* hot woman hump her RAWR!!!!!!" O yah im gonna go by those hormones they r awesome!Im trying to repress my hormones but man they r SO HARD to repress i hate having these stupid male hormones i feel like a fricken cave man that doesnt know how to control stuff although i would not have sex until i truly love someone.Whats the point for humping for pleasure?Why not save it for the person u truly love one day?How Will it be special?I mean its like ya this is special.....I have been doing this for the last 10 years of my life o that is special.But hey we all got our own opinions and im stupid so yah! hey i already know the comments im gonna get.Im gonna get "Hey u dont have a girlfriend u dont know how what your talking about! ur a stupid pathetic loser that knows nothing".Well thats amazing that people feel that way.Just because i havent stuck my penis in anything like a dumb retarded ape

[sasha505]

You seem to have the mindset of someone in the 1950s towards sex.

 

"Whats the point of humping for pleasure?" The pleasure? Jesus. Not everything is about "true love" (seeing as how like 60% of marriages end in divorce these days anyway) or saving your self.

 

Sex is meant to be pleasurable. It's meant to be wonderful and liberating and empowering. It can be with someone you love, it can be with someone you met at a club and thought was sexy. It doesn't matter as long as you're doing it because you want to and not because you feel pressured to.

 

Call me promiscious or whatever you want to, but I enjoy sex, I'm safe about it, and I'm not so backwards thinking that I'm only ever going to sleep with one person in my life because in a modern world, the chances of being with one person all your life are tiny.

 

Get out there, sex is awesome, but it's just like anything else (drugs, owning expensive gadgetry, etc) - you think it's a much bigger and more important thing to you until you've actually done it and then you realise that its not quite as dramatic as you thought before you had it.

[Shinobie]

K ill put it into plan.I will go out and hang around with people who smoke pot and do drugs check.I Will get high off my butt and get drunk and slammed hardcore off it check.Especially that acid o man i havent tried it but it messes with your midn big time mayeb ill jump out of a window like one guy did.But o wait not if i do it responsibly!!!!Then after being high i will hump some random chick demeaning love and then get her pregnant check.I Will then work the rest of my life at mcdonalds trying to support my kid and have a horrible life check.Sorry nothing is true im just being stupid WHAT HAVE U DONE TO WOMEN BIRITNEY SPEARS!Someone go back in time and assasinate britney spears before she ruined some girls views! im dumb

[ComputerGuy]

you think it's a much bigger and more important thing to you until you've actually done it and then you realise that its not quite as dramatic as you thought before you had it.

 

I've been there, done it, and still disagree with you there, and I dont think its about abstinence so much as love. The argument will go one forever, there are those that see it one way, and those that see it the other, and I doubt any amount of argument from either side is going change the others opinion.

 

Basically in your mind you are right, in my mind I am right. It is personal preference, but you cant say we are wrong because we have a "behind in the times" view of sex. Also quoting Divorce rates has nothing to do with sex/love.....marriage is not a prerequisite of love, but for me personally, love is a prerequisite for sex.

[sasha505]

Um. I've used drugs (pot/acid/ecstasy), I've had sex, I've had sex.

 

And guess what - I'm a good student, I have a scholarship to my private school, I have a loving boyfriend, I have nice friends, I'm not pregnant, I have a good family life, I don't work at McDonalds or any other crappy place.

 

God. I'm insulted that you think women are so influenced by people like Britney Spears.

She's liberating. And sexy. And a horrible musician. But what is wrong with people being strong and making informed choices about their own sex lives? (I'm certainly not saying Britney Spears embodies any of these ideas but it's all about personal choice)

 

I have absolutely nothing against people who choose to stay virgins, infact, good luck to them, if that's how they choose to empower themselves and make decisions about their lives, thats great, but for you Shinobie to make the assumption that anyone who has sex without being madly in love and old just shows that you're either exceptionally narrow minded, naive or bitter that you're not attractings girls.

 

The truth is for almost everyone, even if you do think you're "in love" and you've been together a while and you think that it's time to lose your virginity, chances are, that you won't be with that person more than a few years.

 

I'm against people just going out and sleeping with random meaningless people for losing their virginities, but honestly, there are very few people (that I'd want to know) that reach their 20s still a virgin but mature enough romantically and sexually to actually know what a good relationship is and to not just be bowled over by whatever crap the other party might tell them to get them in the sack.

 

I know I'm cynical, but honestly, love isn't likely to be forever.

Sure, let yourself believe that the person you're losing your virginity will love you forever, but chances are they won't.

 

Sex and love are two separate things for me. Sex is about sensuality and passion, and it can be combined with love but it really doesn't have to be all the time.

[Shinobie]

LOL!!!!!I read u like a BOOK lmao!I knew the comment that im just bitter because havent attracted a single girl would pop up.That is so easy to read on you type of girls its not even funny.BIG TIME ADVICE please please heed my warning OMG!!!ACID IS BAD VERY BAD!My friend knows a guy who jumped out a window when high on acid and died because it was very high up.ACID=VERY BAD!!!Not good not good!Plz stop the acid it is not good for u at all omfg.if u r truly smart then ur brain cells r gonna be like bye bye we are hitting up another brain because its messed up in here.Plz dont do acid its for your own good even if your that typical girl that razzes me about being unattractive nobody needs to be hurt and stay away fromt he drugs.Wow i dont know how u were grown up but wow that is a bad life to be going down just a lil advice.As for the bitter thing i would be the same way if i was attractive.I have high morals held for myself and i feel the true meaning of life in myself for some reaosn it just feels good for me.I love to be nice,i love to hold high morals,and try to live life and not become depressed.

[sasha505]

Don't preach to me about drugs. Just don't go there.

 

I'm agreeing to disagree. You've got different sexual values to me. I believe sex is sex. You disagree and think that anyone who has it without "true love" is a sl*t and going to end up pregant, a crack wh**e or working at McDonalds all their life.

 

Maybe different cultures in America are to blame. I'm from Australia and we're a lot less sexually conservative and backwards compared to the views of most Americans on this board.