need things to keep myself busy

[discouraged]

14 days of NC and i just deleted my Facebook... argh, this is so hard. Im trying to reconnect with my friends again, but everyone has been too busy or too tired. However, when i finally do go out, i don't enjoy the moment while being with them. I feel like a zombie doing whatever it is we're doing. I miss her so much, but this break up is what she wants and i know i shouldn't try to convince her to stay with me if she doesn't want to be. I know i must let go of any hope and her, but i can't get myself to. Ive been self-reflecting and there is much to improve in my life, but will take time to change, which is the reason of our break up (school/career/living at home still).

 

What are some things that i can keep myself busy/focused on if I'm stuck at home? I've been trying to read books, but after every page, i tend to start thinking about her and it ruins my mood. ill mope for an hour, but then go back to reading and repeat the cycle...

[OneSadPuppy]

Know exactly how you feel there discouraged...

 

My second last breakup, I didn't have my son living with me and had more freedoms so I'll talk about what I did then...

 

Exercised - every day, no matter what - 4 days weights, 3 days cardio.

I would go space around the downtown core at night (I live in a big city, lots of energy).

I would attend meetup groups - these I wasn't fond of, but it was better than sulking.

I would frequent book stores and just get lost there for a few hours, browsing anything.

Took a Thai cooking class, kind of enjoyed this one. Got me out around a lot of fellow foodies.

Modernized my music collection.

Painted the house.

 

What can you do?

You have to get through it somehow.

I always had someone I could call when I was quite down.

 

I'm thinking of taking an improvisation class this year.

(yep, I've done stand up, but I was young and it was raw).

But I bet it will be a huge distraction.

 

OSP

[tallydoo]

Most importantly, what do you like to do? Taking up hobbies that you genuinely enjoy are the best for healing. But otherwise:

 

How do you feel about rock-climbing? If you have a climbing gym near you, you can go bouldering on your own--it was super helpful for me. Otherwise, running with the music cranked up is a good thing too. Anything physical, really, will get some endorphins pumping and make you feel a little better. Playing music is really cathartic, too, so you might feel better taking up an old instrument or teaching yourself something new, like guitar--Target has some pretty cheap ones. Journaling was also really good for getting me out of that cycle; I had my set time to mope while I was writing and then I had to go and do something not-mopey. Or you could try creative writing? Channel all of your emotions into the next great novel?

 

Give yourself time. It's only been two weeks. You're allowed to still hurt.