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ldr s are they worth it

jakdax

By jakdax
in Long-Distance Relationships

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jakdax Newbie

jakdax

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I have been in my ldr since last september. We ve had our ups and down s like everyone. sometimes it feels like more down s than up. Our ldr is meant to last 2 to 3 years. We nearly have one year under the belt. Now i personally feel like i ve been put through some fairly extrodinary fights and situations just to try keep our relationship. S o much so that it has felt like i had to fight every week for the right to be with my girlfriend. i have gone over to her paid for her to come to me.(She s in collage and money tight). But it wasn t enough till the other week when i told her if this continues through the second year that i wouldn t be around. So it changed we hadn t fought till today almost a month. I recon this is good because honestly the fights used to start on a thursday finish on a tuesday, day off wednesday and back at it thursday.

 

Anyway since the fighting has stopped and even before it , i feel like i go out of my way for her and I m only a second thought. She has to work abroad for the next year to two, and got her dream job in the last few weeks but she kept it quiet about having to stay there for july. She had lead me under the illusion that we would have july and august together. but now is not the case. Which is fair enough if she didn t blame me for making her do it ! I was the very last to know she d be working in july or would have too .

 

Anyway i m ramboling. Not sure if i came on to look for advise or give it but I am going to say this if i was back last august where I had to go meet her in the middle of the night to try keep my relationship , i m not so sure i would do the same again.........

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The_Seeker Enthusiast

The_Seeker

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Been there, done that. It isn't worth it.

 

Dump her.

 

For me, the long distance relationship with my current ex was not worth it. He didn't put much of an effort.

 

I preferred local relationship since I need physical touch in a relationship and consistency.

 

Don't get me wrong I was very independent and could handle the relationship in long distance. He couldn't and end up cheating.

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Furbys Apprentice

Furbys

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Long distance relationships can work when both people make the effort to make it work. But with you and your partner you just argue most of the time and you do not communicate well. I would personally leave this relationship because you both are doing different things and you just argue.

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Gilson Enthusiast

Gilson

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Just ended a 9 month LDR that started last September (I think, late September).

 

We met where I live and on the first date, after ecxhanging emails for a week, she told me she was moving for work, knew for a while.

 

When she moved, I was the ONLY one there to help. Regardless, when we were together on weekends, we were great together. Then the bickering would start on the phone about Tuesday or Wednesday through Thursday, than we'd be a little quiet until we met.

 

We broke up two weeks ago tomorrow.

 

The eventual plan was for me to find work there...not that easy.

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jakdax Newbie

jakdax

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i just want to say thank you to everyone who posted back. the end of my story is simple most of ye perdicted it anyway. We broke up saterday, had the talk today. Options were laid out on both sides. Enevidable dismissed. I m single now. She s home in a week. I only have one conclusion to be very honest right now. If i was back in last august and the first talk about breaking up was occurring again, I would have broke it off then now if i was to know now what i did then. Thanks to everyone who posted again but no happy ending this time, its even raining outside ! good old ireland knows how to set the mood !!!

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