Its been on my mind;...

[tabbyloves]

It's been a while since I've posted on here and that's only cause my school laptop crashed and i had to get it sent away to get fixed but i have it back now, hence why I'm back on here posting this to keep myself from actually doing anything to myself. so don't feel the need to read it all, just venting really, i think.

 

As for the relationship part, we're doing good. Its been 1 month, 1 week and 4 days, (not that I'm counting at all But, she got grounded for something and won't be on for at-least two months which is really going to kill me! Just as i get my laptop back she has to disappear She is like the only reason why I'm still living on this earth. She means the world to me, as do alot of people, but for her, i'd do anything to keep her safe.

 

School, has been more or less * * * * uckeyfriedchicken. My math teacher tried to accuse me of grafiti writing on the desk that i was sitting at because i had my permanent marker out and was drawing on my laptop case...and blah blah blah. He is so emotionally unstable, i gots no idea why he is even still teaching. He can't teach us properly and has mood swings all the time

I have an appt next thursday for my work expirence, coz we have to do work expirence and all. Its gonna be in an office type place /: not to keen on this but maybe it'll turn out alright.

 

Things between my brother and I are fine as far as I'm concerned. Hasn't done anything since the last episode. And as far as I go, I'm fine with him living in the garage. I hardly seem him anyway.

 

And throughout all of these 2 weeks, there has been one thing constantly on my mind, and that's self harm. I haven't done it for at-least a couple of months but don't quote me on that, might've only been a few weeks. But shivermetimbers, its so hard to not do it! especially when their are so many things you can find to do it with! I keep coming up with new ways to do it and stuff. I've been helping a couple of my friends out with their problems which mainly focusses on self harm but i push my problems aside and help them but after we're done talking or even sometimes when we're talking, the thoughts come back ten fold on me. I've even been in a situation where my friend literally had to physically make me put down the thing i was going to kill myself/injure myself with. I just feel like I'm going to go out control and actually do it when i have these thoughts I hope i don't, but i just needed somewhere to get this all out.

 

Thanks if anyone replies, not actually looking for any replies, just somewhere to vent.

[pippy longstocking]

hey tabby its great to see you xx

 

and it sounds like your doing fabulous ..and good fo ryou for filling your time with helping

your friends ..keep going tabby your doing so fab