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Broke up 6months ago from a 11year rel. and saw her yesterday whit another guy


Bandit32

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And just when i believe i was over this, whit 6months of dificult recovery and having fun whit my friends, she appears...whit another guy and i feel i got to day 1 again didnt know if actually they are dating but arriving together is all i need to take conclusions

 

GOD when will this end...

 

I just wanted to get home...it ended my night immediately in terms of fun, and she kept passing by rubbing the facts in my face, i didnt make any reaction at the time, just ended my drink had a couple laughs whit friends but my legs were shaking then 1hour later i went home

 

a first love that lasts for 11years is so dificult to get over, lost around 15kg and now i feel fragile and weak

 

very dificult sunday dealing whit this

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Yup its difficult to control your emotions when your ex is around. I would suggest that you avoid contacts with her at all costs. By this i mean no facebook, no face to face encounters, no friends which are her friends as well. Just erase her completely out of your memory. This is the only way for normal people. Although there are saints who could control.

 

And just when i believe i was over this, whit 6months of dificult recovery and having fun whit my friends, she appears...whit another guy and i feel i got to day 1 again didnt know if actually they are dating but arriving together is all i need to take conclusions

 

GOD when will this end...

 

I just wanted to get home...it ended my night immediately in terms of fun, and she kept passing by rubbing the facts in my face, i didnt make any reaction at the time, just ended my drink had a couple laughs whit friends but my legs were shaking then 1hour later i went home

 

a first love that lasts for 11years is so dificult to get over, lost around 15kg and now i feel fragile and weak

 

very dificult sunday dealing whit this

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I am very sorry that this happened to you Bandit, and being in a similar situation, I can fully understand the pain that you are experiencing. I will be sure to keep you in my thoughts and prayers. As I said in another thread, the best thing you can do is be grateful for all else that you have in life.

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Why did you split?

 

wow where to begin, i believe due to my unstable situation of work at the time, she got tired of waiting for we could go live together and have kids, she got out of university first and got lucky in getting a stable job, and the pressure turned to me, after 11years of relation the feeling was we were stuck each one at parents house, But the thing and that caused the break up was surelly the lack of phisical atrattion from her after all these years, our sexual life was quite strange because was not regular, we had periods of frequent sex (good, she always told me it was good) to no sex at all for some time, after 11years there isnt too much to discover and being young she felt she had a world of different things to do whit different people, she had never had any other boyfriend or been whit another men, over the years i guess i became predictable and a very secure and loyal partner, but that worked against me and she got bored, to the point she could not take it anymore and told me in the face that she didnt felt anything and the flame was long gone as for the sexual atraction. very hard to hear that were the words i recorded in my head that made me move on and go strong whit no contact, but always broken by her for small reasons, she felt the need to contact me once or twice a month or on casual encounter on the night life, never in 6months i pick the phone and phoned her, i followed my friends advices denying the "lets be friends" and all those things she wanted, simply because i dont believe that we can pass from a intimacy relation to a friendship in a heartbeat i just could not accept that, then last month her mother texted me missing me and telling me that she read in a diary that she still loves me and misses me and wrote this sereval times, but i ignored this because after we broke up she told me and to my friends she was secure of her decision, and would never go back, could not handle another rejection if i tried some kind of proximity. and since she said this to everyone and the would never swallow her gigant pride, i guess i will never know.

there were some episodes from mixed feelings from her(at least i consider that could be my head) including the initial no contact was my idea and she got that the wrong way and told me that since i was ok by myself she learned to be alone, there was never a official "its over" but there are things that we just know.

 

we had so many happy and loving moments, discover ourselfs, so many wildness from all these years and did so many things and always together always seen by friends like meant to be and unbreakable couple to one day end, we grow up together and i believe she misses being single and go wild just not whit me anymore

 

well the problem is she is moving on...normally she is a women, a pretty one and its not dificult to get a man, just pick

 

i on the other side i feel quite invisible to women right know, not consider me a ugly guy , but have some issues and lack of confidence right now and whit a 11year hole on not flirting around seriouly i guess i need to find it in me again

 

dificult days i guess

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And just when i believe i was over this, whit 6months of dificult recovery and having fun whit my friends, she appears...whit another guy and i feel i got to day 1 again didnt know if actually they are dating but arriving together is all i need to take conclusions

 

GOD when will this end...

 

I just wanted to get home...it ended my night immediately in terms of fun, and she kept passing by rubbing the facts in my face, i didnt make any reaction at the time, just ended my drink had a couple laughs whit friends but my legs were shaking then 1hour later i went home

 

a first love that lasts for 11years is so dificult to get over, lost around 15kg and now i feel fragile and weak

 

very dificult sunday dealing whit this

 

I'm going through something similar. I ran into an ex last night and he was with someone else. It hurt like hell, and we certainly weren't together for 11 years! Regardless of the reason(s) you broke up, the hurt you're feeling is totally understandable. I think you handled the situation with grace and class. I think most of us would've had the same reaction (shaking, feeling fragile and weak, etc). You did great!

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