Confused by NC?!

[Emma8]

Right, last night. I have committed the ultimate ENA sin and broke contact. After 16 days...grrrr. BUT weirdly I feel OK about it

 

Basically he txt me last night before i went out with the girls, asking to meet for drinks as he was in town, I didnt reply and ignored, as per usual, and then he txt again asking if I was seeing someone. He had gone onto my twitter account which I hardly use and saw that i have a bloke following me, who is just a mate from school, getting married in a month - nothing in it whatsoever, but of course, he assumed he was my boyfriend (!). He ended up looking him up on facebook (as he seemed to know a bit about him), and tweeted his name(?) weird....then I had a random FB friend request.......nothing on it. Brand new account. Guess who...yup my ex. Too much of a coincidence to not be right? Creeped me out a bit. But clearly trying trick me into accepting to see my account (I have blocked him). I didnt accept and deleted. I kept ignoring him which felt good as I do feel a lot stronger now.

 

Anyway, after a few drinks I stupidly replied to one of his txts saying how I was nothing but good to him and how if you truly loved someone you dont just walk away,you fight for them and you certainly dont abuse and mess with their emotions, I did say i missed him and he said he thought about me every day and misses me. He ended up saying how he knows he totally messed up, how much he didnt deserve me, how he was the one who actually ruined us and how its def his loss and he will regret how he treated me and ending things. Ugh. But then ends all the txts, with I cant speak to you anymore Em, its too upsetting, see you around....pretty messed up guy.

 

Im wondering whether things are going wrong with his new girl...if she exists....and he has realised the grass isnt greener and actually, I was a pretty good girlf, that truly loved him. I think its also a case of he wants me but feels he cant commit with all his issues, hideous abusive nature, feeling inadequate, insecure, very jealous etc - but he doesnt want anyone else to have me.

 

I actually feel really good. I know I shouldnt have broken NC but it hasnt set me back at all. Not today anyway. But I feel different to how I have felt previously when breaking it. Possibly because I am a little stronger now, seeing things a lot more clearly about the type of person he is, and possibly because I know he is struggling a little (could be another mind game of his but he seemed different) and the whole twitter, facebook request thing has kinda creeped me out. He must be finding it hard to go and do something like that!!

 

So, Im gonna go back to NC and carry on where I left off Ignoring and moving on with my life.

[Mario043]

This is just a general question to see how you all feel. I have been reading a lot on here and it seems very two sided. Half of the people are suggesting NC to help you move on and heal and even to bring an ex back. The other half are suggesting to stay in contact, stay in their and have hope that maybe one day they may come back or you could end up being friends because NC could lead them to forget you.

 

That is the question.. To answer it.. Who knows? Every situation is different. My ex requested NC, so it was easy for me. Well, not easy, but I knew that calling her would push her away. Do I sometimes wonder if she will become indifferent to me? Of course. That is the worry. I would like another chance, but wish I could get on with it and not have her preoccupy my thoughts and dreams.

 

If I could handle any and all responses she could give me, I would call her right now, but I know I'm still too emotionally invested. We were together a long time and she crushed me.

 

The bottom line is only you know what is truly best for you and your situation... Good luck..