Invited to a farewell party 6 weeks after the BU, ex will be there, should I go?

[Vaimahina]

I was recently invited to a mega farewell party, several bands will be playing, more than 250 people were invited. The thing is my ex will most certainly be there. Its been about 5 weeks since he broke up with me (it'll be 6 on party night). I cried everyday for the first two weeks, I finally started feeling better when I finally accepted it and realized that given the chance, I wouldn't go back and trip over the same stone twice (as you say in Spanish). I started going to the gym and got a new haircut and have reconnected with old friends, even kissed a new guy--even though that was it, because I really want to be alone now and focus on me--loving me for a change. I feel like I've done really well for myself and even though a couple of times something's happened that'll remind me of him I don't cry about it anymore because I've really accepted the fact that it just wasn't going to work out between us. Now, I want to go to the party because its a farewell party for two friends who are going to live overseas and I won't see for a while, also a part of me feels that maybe seeing my ex briefly in this kind of social situation might help ease us into being friends in the coming months if it feels comfortable (we've been friends/acquaintances over a 10 year period). I say seeing him briefly because I have no intention of hanging out with him and they'll be enough people there that I really won't run into him unless I actually want to. At the moment I don't feel like I want him back at all (maybe like a 5% that I'm sure I can easily squelch in the name of self-preservation), which I know is really important if you are going to try something like this. The thing is I admit that my ego together with an infantile part of me wants to let everyone know that not only am I okay but that I'm even in better shape than before (which is true because his ignoring me was constantly bringing me down) and, this is the part I'm worried about, some part of me also wants to show him what he missed. I'm considering not going just to avoid the whole situation, then my ego/pride starts talking and tells me not to go just to show him that given the chance to be at the same party with him, I wouldn't take it, then I think that if I don't go he'll think I still care for him. Why am I thinking these things? Why do I care what he thinks? Could it be that I still have feelings for him or is it just my ego and pride? I've been doing so well I don't want to take any steps back! A friend of mine asked me, what would happen if you saw him with a cute girl? I really don't think I'd care because I'm really self-confident right now in a lot of levels (I've got some great work projects lined up and thanks to the gym I'm smoking). On the other hand I feel like I can deal with the "seeing him again" part considering I've lived the past 17 years on an island with only 4,500 inhabitants where you run into your first boyfiend/love and exes and know EVERYTHING they do without fb, hahaha. So I'm used to that. I can take someone with me, guy or girl. Should I go? If I go who should I take?

[catcountry]

I say protect yourself and do not go to the party. I get it's a big thing but do you think you could handle the posibility of seeing him with another girl? It hasn't been very long. If the answer is NO...then don't go.

[Vaimahina]

The truth is I really don't think I would care if he was with some hot Hollywood goddess. I feel like no matter who he shows up with I'm me and I'm better and he's a fool.

[Hollyj]

The truth is I really don't think I would care if he was with some hot Hollywood goddess. I feel like no matter who he shows up with I'm me and I'm better and he's a fool.

 

I don't think you should go.

 

The fact that you want to show him what he's missing and are writing this thread, demonstrates you are far from over him.

 

You will be uncomfortable at the party and will be focused on him, why not take you friends to a farewell dinner.

[Vaimahina]

Thanks everyone! My BFF invited me to see some friends of hers play live on that same night. That'll be much better!