justme123 Posted October 5, 2004 Author Share Posted October 5, 2004 Well, I was thnking that I should stop going to school where I would see her, but that would mean I'd have to stop taking my class that I have with her in, where we sit next to each other. So that maybe she would think I had already left, so that she would call me. But I think that would be wrong because she would only call me to find out if I left or not, and I think that's not what I want, I think I want her to call me because she wants to call me. At the same time I would like her to call me though... I dunno, any advice? Link to comment
justme123 Posted October 7, 2004 Author Share Posted October 7, 2004 So on monday I went to school, but she wasn't there in class today. Must of slept in or something.. so I skipped school today so I wouldn't have to see her. So I don't think I will see her at all until next monday.. that will be a whole week and a day or so of absolutely no contact. I wonder if she has thought about me at all... Link to comment
cmacey Posted October 7, 2004 Share Posted October 7, 2004 Making her feel guilty is the absolute wrong way to go. If she does love you, you can't cloud her decision making by making her feel guilty. Even if the guilt overwhelms her and makes her come back to you, it wouldn't even be real then and this would probably just happen again. Guilt also sometimes makes people focus on the negatives and reasons they shouldn't feel guilty about breaking up, so your best bet is either to not contact her so she misses you and realizes she loves you for who you are, or try to stay in contact and act happy. Nothing is more attractive to an ex than seeing that their ex is happy without them. That makes them wonder why they ever broke up with you to begin with. Even if you aren't happy, act calm, happy and carefree. Don't go with the guilt trip though, and no, I haven't read all your posts yet cause they were too long, but I'll try to go back and read them now Link to comment
justme123 Posted October 7, 2004 Author Share Posted October 7, 2004 Thanks for responding, cmacey! Good advice. I don't want to "make" her feel guilty, I was just wondering if her feeling guilty was a good thing or not. I think you're right though, that her being guilty would not be what I want, even if she came back, it would just be from the guilt huh, not because she really loves me. Link to comment
cmacey Posted October 7, 2004 Share Posted October 7, 2004 Exactly, I'm goin through the same thing man. And every day it's a struggle to not get ahold of her. I actually got ahold of her today, I broke down, moment of weakness, but I didn't profess my love or anything, just said hi, little chit chat etc. I know I should stop though, cause I know she still feels guilty about it, which is just pushing her further away as all her friends probably tell her she's doing the right thing, every time I talk to her it probably reminds her of her guilt rather than her love she used to have and maybe still does. So yeah, I guess this post was a little too much, but in summary...guilt = bad Link to comment
jchan Posted October 7, 2004 Share Posted October 7, 2004 hmm what's your take, if your ex was seeing someone else? would you think the'd be able to see you happy? Link to comment
justme123 Posted October 9, 2004 Author Share Posted October 9, 2004 jchan, who are you directing your question at? I don't understand what you said.. Link to comment
justme123 Posted October 9, 2004 Author Share Posted October 9, 2004 ok.. I've been no contact with her all week, since last saturday and now it's saturday again. Yesterday I was going out to walk down to the store, and I saw her and her friend walking up on the other side of the street, going to her apartment. She lives accross the street from me. So I quickly changed directions and went through my complex so that I wouldn't be out on the street where she would see me. I think it would have been very awkward, for me at least. I'll see her in a couple of days anyways though, after the weekend, since she will most likely be at the bus stop. Unless she doesn't go to school... Link to comment
justme123 Posted October 9, 2004 Author Share Posted October 9, 2004 Actually, I think I'll try to get up early on Monday, so I can take an early bus, that way I won't have see her until later in the day when we have class together. I haven't been posting much lately, because I've been trying not to think about her at all, but seeing her yesterday brought her back up.. but no one replies to me anyways, heh... Link to comment
cmacey Posted October 9, 2004 Share Posted October 9, 2004 Sounds like you're doing a good job of trying not to think about her which is a good thing. You can't really do much to get her back at this point, I'm not really all that religious, but it's in God's hands now. Just be yourself and act happy when you finally do have to see her in class, let her lead the conversation if there is one and remain somewhat mysterious and happy. Chris Link to comment
justme123 Posted October 10, 2004 Author Share Posted October 10, 2004 So, she calls me today while I'm in the shower. I called her back when I got out and saw she called. She wanted me to buy her beer (she's 20, I'm 21). I told her I'm not going to buy her beer, and she's like why not? I told her for multiple reasons. First off, I don't think she should be drinking so much, and also because she doesn't call me at all, until she wants something from me. If we were friends, maybe I'd do her favors like that, but obviously we aren't friends because she only called me because she wants something from me. She told me she thinks I owe her, for everything I've put her through. I told her that I agree, that I think I owe her, but what I owe her is not to do her favors and be her errand boy. I think I owe her to build back her trust, etc., but she obviously doesn't want that right now. So for me to buy her beer would just be like me buying a chance to see her for a moment, and have her be nice to me, but it would all be superficial. She said I couldn't even come over and drink with her, just wanted me to buy the beer and disappear. She also said her mom was coming to visit soon, I asked if I would get a chance to see her mom and stuff, but she said no. Link to comment
justme123 Posted October 11, 2004 Author Share Posted October 11, 2004 I think I'm going to tell her when I see her that it's not fair for her to call me, unless she actually wants to talk to me. Link to comment
craigblitz Posted October 11, 2004 Share Posted October 11, 2004 I think you are 100% right there justme.....It sounds like you have a good grasp of yourself, know what you want from this realtionship and if she does not want the same things, back off.... Good call. Link to comment
RayKay Posted October 11, 2004 Share Posted October 11, 2004 You definitely did the right thing! Don't let her use you like that (which you aren't!) Link to comment
justme123 Posted October 14, 2004 Author Share Posted October 14, 2004 I haven't heard from her since she called. Today I miss her a lot. Some days are harder than others. Link to comment
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