Hoping for the best...preparing for the worst

[Nickles]

Last time I met himself I was collecting all of my stuff. I had text him Saturday before last after a very successful dinner see thread below and suggested I just go and get all of my stuff the next day and we wait a few weeks or month to meet again as we won't know what's going on while my stuff is in the house that we used to rent together.

 

 

 

So that Sunday I get my stuff and we had a great day again.... He said call next Monday....today. (Even though I said a few weeks)

 

I called down tonight "to see if I left any of my stuff there" ahem....I asked him all his news and he said, "what do you want to do" so I said...."see if I need to get more stuff".

 

Long story short we went and got takeout (his idea) after I dumped the rest of my stuff in the car and watched a documentary on the subway (we're infrastructure nerds) and had a great time. We didn't talk about our relationship we just had a laugh. He seemed sad but happy at the same time and was awkward when I was leaving.

 

I'm not going to read anything into any of this. I hope it will work out but there's a chance it may not. I don't know what he's thinking and no one knows that but him. However I am feeling confident and am hoping I'm not setting myself up for a fall.

[abitbroken]

I would just not contact him again for now. I think you two behaved as mature adults with no hard feelings. If he contacts you, don't contact him back right away. wait hours or even days if he says something meaningful. if you have all your stuff back, there is no need to be in LC anymore. You need to move forward and heal. Time will tell if things change, but for now, you can't be sitting around waiting for him. You are setting yourself for a fall if you think the hanging out was a start of a new relationship. You need to just consider that its over. Maybe in the future you will have both grown and reconnect, but i think the safer bet is for you to move on. If he really wanted to be back together, he would have changed his mind about you leaving. So don't look back.

[Nickles]

I don't agree that he would have changed his mind about me leaving if he still wanted me back. After a break up I don't think I could just move right back in. It would be a disaster. I will go NC however if he texts/calls I'll answer but I'm not going to play games and wait hours or days. He's a good person and games would hurt him a lot. I just miss him a hell of a lot. I think he misses me too but time will tell.

[abitbroken]

. I will go NC however if he texts/calls I'll answer but I'm not going to play games and wait hours or days. He's a good person and games would hurt him a lot. I just miss him a hell of a lot. I think he misses me too but time will tell.

 

It's not a game to show people you are not sitting by the phone waiting for their call, and always pick up on the first ring. If you are doing something - spending time with a friend, finishing watching your favorite show or at work - don't pick up.Make other things a priority. I would go personally NC for now, but if you absolutely feel you must answer wait until you are really free. You don't want to be a quick phone call away, otherwise he has what he wants - broken up but you being there for him.

 

Playing games would be if you called him "baby" on the phone and told him how much you missed him and then cancelled plans with him all the time or told him to buzz off. It is not playing games to make other things in your life a priority. It is life.

 

If he leaves you a meaningful message, then that is one thing, but don't answer every little "hi" text. If he writes you an email and tells you he wants to try again, that is meaningful, but "did you watch the game last night?" is not.

[Nickles]

It's not a game to show people you are not sitting by the phone waiting for their call, and always pick up on the first ring. If you are doing something - spending time with a friend, finishing watching your favorite show or at work - don't pick up.Make other things a priority. I would go personally NC for now, but if you absolutely feel you must answer wait until you are really free. You don't want to be a quick phone call away, otherwise he has what he wants - broken up but you being there for him.

Yeah that's true alright. I won't answer straight away. I'll give it a few hours. Don't think I could go days though as he knows my phone habits (I'm poor at texting back and usually take a few hours but never a few days.....with him it has always been instant when we were together)