TearsofFate Posted February 25, 2012 Share Posted February 25, 2012 I just came accross an old email, deep within the history of my now un-used very first email address files. I currently use a different email addy. This email I found, by complete accident as I was looking for old emails from my dad (who passed away). Instead I found an email from one of my first (if not first) relationships ever which I totally forgot about. Upon opening it, I felt so funny, like I shouldn't even read it. I just kind of stared at it for a while without reading the words. I tried to click out of it. But I started to read it anyway, since I had completely forgot about it over the years. It was actually an apology email from an ex. I don't even know how to explain it. Let's backtrack to when I was 15 years old. (10 years ago as I am 25 now So I was 15, and was totally in love with this guy (2 years older then me) We had a cutesy kind of relationship at such a young age. We were together for 1 year until he one day vanished. He had to travel back to Australia with his family but didn't keep in contact with me no matter how much I tried to find him. To me he just vanished. Just like that. It was probably one of the hardest things I ever went through. The years went on. I met other boyfriends, other people...I even thought he may be dead (seriously). I couldn't find him anywhere! I just forgot about him eventually. Then when I was exactly 23 (nearly 8 years later) he sent me this email: It said the following word for word: Hey (My name), I know it's been a very very long time but I thought I'd give it a shot to e-mail you. Although you probably may think I'm the biggest jerk in the world & hate my guts. At the least I am sincerely sorry for stopping talking to you.... but it wasn't for no reason. I know you probably think I didn't like you. The truth is (my nickname) that it was sort of the opposite.... I stopped talking to you because I was afraid I was going to hurt you in some way...turns out my selfish actions didn't really help the situation. I didn't run away cause I didn't like you. I ran away because I kept liking you more and more and you were on my mind heaps.... which got a bit hard to handle when you live so far away.... but hey for all I know you've probably found feelings for somebody anyways. But I was thinking of you the other day and wondering how you were and that what I did was so stupid. You're such a great person! I don't know how forgiving you are but I hope that one day I'll be able to speak to you cause even though It's been so long I do miss talking to you. However I'll understand if you hate me and if I never get a reply to this e-mail at all.... that's if you get this e-mail (not too sure if you've still got this adress or wheather you've blocked me or not). Hope to hear from you soon and again I'm deeply sorry =( J P.S. I thought you would've performed some sort of Voodoo on me by now. (he always jokes around) This is the email I found. I never answered him back. I'm almost 26 now since my B-day is in March. So this email is 3 years old. I know I've read it before, but at the time I had a boyfriend so I didn't really feel any need to talk to him anymore (plus I didn't want to talk to someone who just vanishes for years on end). Reading it 3 years back just made me feel bitter. However...looking back, we both were REALLY young when he left. He did send me another email too saying that he had no flings, crushes, or relationships with anyone since me. I found it hard to believe since I went crazy with dating after we seperated but he didn't apparently. I didn't want to respond (at the time) because of bitterness and because of a boyfriend. Looking back though, I wonder what was going through his mind... It's been 10 years...is it worth saying hi to him at this point? I don't know why I'm suddenly curious now (maybe just finding the email after all this time made me wonder what he's up to). Or should I just leave the past in the past? I find myself sad reading the 2 emails he sent. At first I didn't feel anything...but now 3 years later I feel sad and miss him even. Currently, I'm single, and just sort of casually dating. I'm not really with anyone. I don't know if this is a good idea though. What do you guys think? Also, I feel like I don't even know him anymore! Link to comment
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