Problems with a friend...

[McT]

This is kinda a long a drawn out story, and im bad with explaining things, so please bear with me. this is like a multi question thread/question.

 

here goes:

 

I have this friend(Jess). I didnt know I loved her until about a month and a half with her. I would do anything for her, and i can honestly say im heads over heals for her. I spend my night lying in bed awake thinking of her. The problem is, about a month after i met her, she started going out with this guy... who is one of my friends. at first she would always have to call him, and many times when he just didnt want to talk to her, she talked to me. for a few weeks we were talking on the phone until the wee hours of the morning, just about our family and the things we have in common, and everything. we couldnt stop talking to each other, it was great, everytime we would talk i would feel closer to her, and would want to talk even more. We hung out a few times, and everytime, she kinda acted like we were together, just styaing by my side, and asking me to do things with her first before anyone else. Whenever we would sit down, she'd sit next to me, or accross the corner from me and we'd play around a bump knees, and flirt. every once in a while, we'd lock eyes... and it was like we were in heaven. usually our friends would have to say something to distract us, but it was just great. She told me she felt totally comfortable around me, and made it very clear that she never told more than 2 or 3 people about many of the things we talked about. I told her i kinda liked her, but really loved in her in a brother-sister kinda way, and so did she. She also said she liked the relashionship we had... like we were going out, only not as complicated. She did tell me that i wasnt >normally

 

Well.. she started having doubts about her boyfriend (Cody[Good looking]), he never called her, and acted like he was totally un-interested when she did try to talk to him. he just never made any effort to get closer to her. she finally broke down and told me she was tired of being the one that was putting out all the effort in the relashionship. I told her how i felt about it... which was pretty much that i thought he was just keeping her for a trophy girlfriend, since she is very good looking, and that he was probably just going to try to get into her pants. she asked him if it was true, which resulted him in asking who told her that, and she said it was me. we had this 15 minute long conversation at 3 am one night a while ago where he yelled at me and told me how he didnt apprciate me doing that. he didnt talk to me for about 3 weeks after that. she kept telling me how sorry she was that he had gotten so pissed at me because of her, and for every problem that she had ever caused me.during that 3 weeks, he actually started calling her, and talking and things got better. they actually started bonding, and he went to visit her every once in a while (She lived 2 towns over until last week). She started thanking me for doing it, since it made them become closer. She told me we couldnt actually talk on the phone anymore, because she knows she wouldnt want cody to do that to her with other girls.

 

Well... its been kinda the same thing happening for the last few months of them being happy, and theyre btoh my friends, and im happy for them, but i dont like how he thinks about relashionships. He started complaining about how much of a 'whipped pu--y' our friend is for going to visit his girlfriend 2 days in a row instead of hanging out with us. and he just flat out says Jess cant do things that she's set her heart to. This was only a few weeks ago when he said these things. He acted like visiting your girlfriend is just something to do when have absolutely nothing better to do. this actually made me pretty mad, but i didnt say anything.

 

Fastforward even more to last week. Jess moved about 5 minutes away from my house, and admitted she asked her mom to move here because it was close to me and cody. They were going to move anyway, but i liked the fact that she wanted to move so close to me. I went to visit her when the bus dropped her of from school her first day of school. then again a few days later. Then, last week, i went again, and waited. The bus came late, and right when the bus came, Cody and a friend of ours walked up. There was sorta a weird feeling in the air because i sorta wasnt supposed to be there... then someone asked why i was there, and i lied by saying "I couldnt find my friend or anyone else to hang out with... so i came here." as they were walking back towards her apartment, she said "Well your friend wouldnt be here, so i dont know why your here.". It kinda hurt to here her say that, because she had seemed to be so happy to see me all the other times.

 

I Decided to write her a note... It pretty said that i loved her, but that i wanted her a cody to be happy... so i would stop trying to visit her, and that we didnt have to be friends anymore if she didnt or couldnt. I told her I was ending the relashionship, and that i really wanted to still be friends, but i didnt know if we could.

 

I miss her so much, and i dont know if i did the right thing. All i want to do is hold her, and talk to her, but i dont even know if she likes me like that. I dont even know if things can ever be the same between us ever again, even if they brake up. I just want things to be normal between us again...

Do you guys think things could ever be normal between us again? Or if she actually does like me... im just not quite good looking enough? I know people say love is blind, but your naturaling going to be more atracted to someone who's nice to look at. Can someone help... please?

 

I guess im looking for insight on this... its really bothering me...

[Matt01]

Im sry to admit it but appearance is everything. People can say everything about personality and inner beauty, but its all bull. Yet, very rarely, there is a girl out there who will look past that. Life is unfair; i have realized this in the last year. Listen man, girls are stupid. You have to pretend you don't care; just have fun and stop worrying all the time. Don't pursue this, your just asking for alot of problems. Its very disappointing, i know, but you need to move on. By the way, never put anything in writing, it can come back to haunt you.

 

"A girl who is your friend is like having $19.99 in your bank accout; you know its there but you can't get at it"