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So, after breaking up with my boyfriend yesterday, spending the day (and night) going over and over stuff, crying, horrible mood swings, feeling physically ill I have started to feel a tiny, tiny bit better. But THEN I reply to a text he sent last night just explaining my reasons for asking him to go and he starts thanking me for a amazing year and for giving him confidence. I nearly broke down at this, but THEN he says he's sending me a card saying how he feels


He's emotionally manipulative and although I don't think this is meant nastily I'm so upset he can't just leave it alone for a bit. I had to be so strong to ask him to leave and I'm worried this will make it so much worse. Should I open it? Or can I resist opening it? AHHH!!

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The first few days and hours after a break up are filled with horrible emotions. (Regret, fear of the unknown, happiness, sadness, anger...a whole range of thoughts and pictures in our heads.)

SO much that it is normal to not sleep, puke, feel ill....And this may go on for a few more weeks!! He may feel a need to fight or fly...and the same with you. We move away from paid and toward comfort.


Perhaps the best thing to do is...NOTHING. When you do nothing, you cant mess anything up in what you say or do. (I posted a thread about this awhile back.)

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I would suggest that you stop texting him and giving him the perceived audience that you are there to listen to his side. You can't expect that you get to have your say and he doesn't. If you don't want to hear from him and suffer the guilt or manipulation as you put it, don't contact him. Just let him go.


As for the card, you can choose to open it later when you are in a better place or keep it and not open it or toss it and never open it. But please don't consider returning it, if that is thought. That is just hurting him further. Let him do what he needs to do to heal. Your sending him a text with your explanation doesn't give him much chance to decide whether he wants to see it or not (unless he blocked you which most likely he didn't if he was not wanting to end the relationship). Understand that contact from you, when you want to end it gives him hope and keeps the contact to further that hope.

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