Thirty - something and FRUSTRATED

[JAKESCHAIN]

MAJOR QUESTION ~

Is it common for women in their early thrities to have a hightened sex drive? I can't seem to get enough and my husband doesn't know what to think of me.

 

Am I a freak of nature? What are some intimate options between he and I? What do I do? HELP!!

[theghost]

what? your husband should be happy.

[avman]

Its extremely common. Women hit their sexual peak in their 30s while men hit it at 18. Its one of mother nature's cruelest jokes I think.

 

Rest assured you are NOT alone. Do some searches of the studies on the web or haul your husband to your gyno at your next appointment and let your doctor enlighten him. You are not a freak of nature

[theghost]

what? avman are you serious?

 

So when I turn 30 (hopefully) my sex drive will decrease?

[avman]

Yes Ghost, I'm serious. You are at the top of your game right now. Its all downhill from here.

[AzurePhoenix]

Yep... It is true.

 

Which is a factor in these age gap relationships when the guy is 10+ years older than his wife/girfriend.

 

----------------------------

 

Options:

Be creative and look for intimate options that are acceptable to each of you. Communication is the key. Toys, Viagra, and I will let your imagination run wild a bit here.. Make it fun and lighthearted and that will difuse some of the not-so-positive feelings that your husband is feeling.

 

~AzurePhoenix

[theghost]

you guys are so depressing, I can't picture myself without having an orgasim once a day which by all means necessary

 

 

Hmm....I just can't picture myself with viagra, and stuff like that.

so how much decreasing are we talking about? once a week? or month?

[San123]

lol, yes I would like to know too!!

[WishMistress]

Well I am 37 and I would still like it every day, my husband however is 35 and has slowed down.

[ShroudedSorrow24]

wow the future is so bright and promising......... lol

[shes2smart]

Let this be a lesson to those of you ladies who are not married. Marry a younger guy. My husband is 11 years younger than I am. I'm quite content, thank you.

 

And to answer your question, yes it's perfectly normal. avman has it right...women peak in their 30's, men in their late teens....and it is a cruel, cruel joke.

[AzurePhoenix]

I thought a bit about this before I jumped into this again guys.. and I would like to illuminate what I perceive is a little false logic.

 

When you guys laugh bitterly and think "Great.. this is what the future holds..", you are looking at this through the eyes of a 20 year old. I remember 20. I thought about sex five times a minute. I cannot remember if I ever thought about anything except something sexual.

 

This is perhaps not the best analogy but it will suffice. If I talk to a 10 year old and tell him that when he goes to high school he will not get any recesses his response will be "I cannot live without recess! High school must really be terrible!". The fact is, if you had a recess in high school, it would be nice, it would be fun, but not the big deal it was when you were 10.

 

When we get older, we physically change. Our bones become more brittle, we cannot handle physical activity like we could when we were 20, and on the whole we have more physical problems. This is the down side. The upside is that we as a whole, have learned who we are. We are more confident, have proved ourselves in many situations and have experienced many things both good and bad.

 

So from my personal perspective, looking over my life and experiences, if I were given the choice to be 20 or 40.. I would choose 40 in a heartbeat.

 

~AzurePhoenix

[zac]

I am not sure about that, because I am a student, but I can image that, that's a quite cruel joke.

[zac]

In my real life, I can find my sisters are so happy, problem it is just because of the content sex, while her husband is less 5years old than her.

[theghost]

NO, I will pick 20...

 

God....without sex, we guys are nothing.

 

That is a joke, I can nearly cry over this....

 

 

 

[avman]

You may feel that way now, but later in life it will not hold the importance to you that it does now. Nobody is saying you can't have sex when you get older. You can have it all the time if you want. Its just that the desire declines. You don't WANT it all the time.

 

That does not mean that it's any less enjoyable. And you are actually a better lover because:

 

a. You know what you are doing (well ok, you SHOULD know what you are doing by this time)

 

b. You don't finish in 30 seconds like you did when you were 18

[theghost]

avman thinks his funny

[avman]

Just trying to show you that getting older doesn't mean its the end of the world.

[shes2smart]

Just trying to show you that getting older doesn't mean its the end of the world.

 

Absolutely. It seems like most of the people posting on the site are younger than 25, and 40 or more seems like ancient and a looong ways away.

 

As you get older, and if you're observant, you're gonna learn things like what's really important in life (hint: it's not how you look, or how much stuff you have) and you're gonna learn to care less about what other people think of you....one day, if you keep at it, you'll realize the only person's respect and love you absolutely need to have is your own. Anybody else's is just icing on the cake.....and anybody else's negative opinion of you isn't worth anything.

 

If anything, my life's gotten easier the older I've gotten -- more self-confidence, more self-acceptance, ability to earn a higher income because of more experience.....what's not to love about being 40?

 

And, yeah, you DO also learn a thing or two about being better in bed along the way, too.

[guy40az]

It is very common for women in their early thirties to have a heightened sex drive. Your husband should be the happiest male alive. I know my partner when she was 29-35 had a very high sex drive and I though it was great.