Sudden re-awakening of feelings

[Magic_star829]

I broke up with my ex boyfriend about 5 months ago. After the initial grieving period everything was fine and I was sure that I was over him. Out of the blue about 2 days ago I started missing him soooo much, and all these feelings came surfacing back. I don't know what caused that to happen, but I know that we can't get back together because I live too far now. But I feel like I need to talk to him so I tried to e-mail him and I added him back to my msn but he must have blocked me because he hasn't responded. I have e-maild him telling him that I want to talk. I need advice from anyone who would be in his situation. Would you e-mail your ex back? What things should I say in the next e-mail? If you were a guy what would you think? PLease help any advice would be great as I am so confused.

[Michael2]

You dumped him?

[Magic_star829]

Well I officially ended it but in the end it was mutual.

[mtastic]

I was dumped by my ex about 5 months ago, I guess its a little different for me as I was the dumpee. I went throgh the grieving period big time, and I keep thinking i'm over my ex, but every few weeks, it seems like i start thinking about her again. I've pretty much given up on contacting her thogh, as she still has me blocked from IM from when we stopped talking about 4 months ago.

 

I honestly don't know what i would do if she contacted me. I think i'm at the stage where I really could handle being friends with her, but I don't think I would want to jump back into a relationship right away.

 

Like I said, this is just my opinion based on my situation, it sunds like your beak was a little different as you initiated and he agreed.

 

Hope that helped a little,

mtastic

[Smusher]

did you have someone to go to when you left for good....did he? does he now? do you still?

[cassiana]

Dumping is rarely mutual. it seems to me that you dumped him and he to save face, then decided to agree My ex dumped me and after two weeks emailed me a joke.I ignored it though I wanted him back like crazy. After coldly dumping me, I didn't think a joke really showed any respect for me or regret for what he had done. I contacted him myself four and a half months later. So if you want him back and are sure of it make a greater effort. If you have done enough to show respect for him and his damaged pride and he still doesn't reply re-establish NC. He will come back in his own time or not, depending on how he feels.

[Magic_star829]

Yes it was mutual, but he was giving me all these signs that were pointing to breaking up. At first he really showed that he cared and it was easy to tell that he was into it and wanted this relationship. But then the issue came up of me leaving, I had told him since the begginning that I was moving ( quite far) and that no matter what I had to do this. He had said it didn't matter and that he would follow me to the ends of the earth. He said he would let his heart lead the way and wouldn't hold back just because I was leaving. I decided to do the same thing. It all went well for a month. Then after that he started always being late, cancelling on me or simply not showing up and then not explaining until the next day. He grew more distant and stopped calling. I asked him about it and he said he was just busy,but then it continued and it was like he was avoiding me. I had been battling with the fact that maybe he changed his mind and wasn't letting himself get too involved because I was leaving. When I would talk to him right before we broke up , he would say " SO you're breaking up with me?" He was making it too obvious and wasn't showing any signs of sadness or regret. Then my good friend happened to see his best friend at my work one night, and she asked what was going on. She asked if he was acting that way and wanted out because of my lack of sexual experience. I believe she said something along the lines of "The whole sex thing" and he said yes. So after that I talked to him and told him that I think it's for the best if it was over. He agreed and didn't even seem fazed. He didn't try to argue or say sorry although he did say he was sorry for not showing up the night before, as if that would help. But then he said he didn't let his heart get into it because it would suck when I left. Meanwhile that's exactly what I did, what he was suppose to do as well. But he admitted it at least. Anyway, so that is how it was mutual. It really hurt because I was falling hard for him but then realized that I had the right to be in a relationship that was loving and caring. It felt like we were just distant buddies, not even just allies. And I didn't want to hold him 'hostage' ( he's really nice so maybe he just wanted to drop hints so that I could do the breaking up and he wouldn't hurt me). Anyway that's the whole story in a nutshell.

[light bulb]

So wait, he wanted the relationship ended b/c of your lack of sexual experience? Excuse my harshness, but he's a retard.

 

Anyway, this breakup does not seem mutual to me. He was clearly pushing you away and trying to get you to dump him...he was probably afraid to do it himself. If he had treated you right, I don't think you two would have broken up. You dumped him b/c he was being a jerk. Good for you! Stick to NC and find someone who can appreciate you...you deserve it!

[rich46]

So wait, he wanted the relationship ended b/c of your lack of sexual experience? Excuse my harshness, but he's a retard.

I'll second that.