the past hurts

[im_the_undead]

i figured out the password to an old picture album, and seeing myself from early years in high school really hurt.

though i was facing a lot of bullying in HS by a psychotic girl (over a guy) and her friends, I at least had friends and my health... and I was happy.

I see pictures of myself before my boyfriend and I feel sad. My face my cheeks, they were fuller... I looked healthy and youthful. Pictures of my bf and me as kids and teenagers, before we dated.... wow he was ugly haha but I thought he was a cool kid. I was so care free back then.

Pictures of my old best friends........ how I wish life never did what it did.... pictures of me with my boyfriend's cousins. Yeah, maybe one of them never liked me, but hell, those were peaceful times. We could actually smile side by side. And the one who did like me..... how I loved her. It's a shame things have gotten so bad through the years, and it hurts to see these pictures and feel so empty and realize I've been feeling this empty for years. Since I was 17...... I thought the older I got the less problems I'd have because I'd figure out how to fix things. In the end, I messed things up trying to make things right.

The past hurts......... I want to delete all of these photos........... but I look so pretty and happy...... I can't. But I also can't look at them.

How annoying.

 

Anyone else in my shoes?

[LDRohnos]

Of course, there are certain photos (I'm not a huge photo-op guy so I never really carried around a tripod everywhere I went) that I tend to cringe at a little when I see them. Like during my awkward teen years or pictures that just remind me of failures or things I would do differently.

[im_the_undead]

Of course, there are certain photos (I'm not a huge photo-op guy so I never really carried around a tripod everywhere I went) that I tend to cringe at a little when I see them. Like during my awkward teen years or pictures that just remind me of failures or things I would do differently.

 

i used to love taking pictures ! i don't anymore.. i hardly ever do.

I'd say that's a bad thing........ depression hurts